Our Family is Growing

Well, no more babies but we're now at the phase of adding sons and daughters in law.  It's been a busy year and forgive me for not blogging.  But things are well and God has been faithful.  This past September our older daughter was wed in Tennessee.  We now have a son-in-law who loves our daughter more than life.  And then this past Christmas my oldest son became engaged to the woman of his dreams and they are planning a wedding for this coming September! Here are some pictures:

Anna and Dany

Will and Cassidy 

Such a special time in our family's life.  I always kind of looked towards this phase with a little sadness, knowing that it wouldn't always just be our "10" but it really is not that way at all.  I can't believe how amazing it is to really get more sons and daughters and see how happy they are.  It will be a phase that will last many years since we have a bunch and I know there will be hills and valleys along the way.  We have prayed for our children's spouses since before they were born and trust the Lord with their choices.  Our children grow-up, they become our friends and they make their own decisions.  We have to let go and let them fly! 

Life is a Novel, with Chapters Always Ending and Starting

It seems that with children and a family, things are always changing.  No stage lasts for long.  Many times I have grieved this, however the other day I realized that one way to look at change, is the closing of a chapter and the starting of a new one.  Life is really like a novel.  I love to read, especially historical fiction.  Looking at my life as a novel, with God being the author has helped me move into the next phase or chapter.  We've had quite a few chapters ending this past year.  My 4th son graduated from high school and started college.  My oldest daughter graduated from college and started working in Tenneesee.  Our precious dog of 12 years passed away.  It's easy as a mom to grieve these times.  To see them as seasons gone forever, but really it's the end of a chapter that God has brilliantly summed-up and the start of a new one.  I'm learning to look with hope to the next chapter, and actually finding it quite exciting.  God's novel for our lives is the ultimate page turner, with plot twists and switch-backs that we would have never planned.  At times, his plans seem awkward, painful and even wrong.  Yet, he weaves his story and we yield to his orchestrations, the purpose for which, we may not understand this side of heaven. Now that my little guy is 5, I've had a lot more time to do things I enjoy, like playing tennis.  I've also been taking an RN refresher course which has been really fun. I'm hoping to be able participate in more medical mission trips in the future.  I know God has great things for all of us.  He is the articulate novelist weaving our stories for His glory.  

So Much To Do, But So Little Time

Sometimes to get more done, we just camp out in the car....

Whether you have lots of littles, lots of big kids, are pregnant or nursing, trying to mother and hold down a job, homeschooling or whatever stage of mothering you are in, I'm sure you feel this way.  "I have so much to do!  So many things on my lists but so few hours in the day!"  Well, I know how you feel and really it doesn't matter how old or young you are or how far you on in your mothering journey, we all feel this way.  I love summer because as a homeschool mom I have more time do to things around the house, relax at the pool, catch up on scrapbooking and play more tennis.  But even with "free time" I seem to fill up the calendar and start getting stressed out all over again. 
Anyway, it seems like so many moms I talk to feel the same way.  Like they just can't catch their breath.  Now this isn't going to be a post about slowing down and smelling the roses (I think I did a post on that already) but a post to share some ways/tips I have learned over the years to get it all done(well, just about all) and yet still be sane. 

1.  Don't waste time.  I mean on the internet or too much Netflix.  We all do it and we get distracted but the best thing to do, I think, is set times that you're going to return emails, shop or research online and then stick to it.  

2.  Tithe the first part of your day to the Lord.  Pray and read the word each morning and watch God multiply your time!  Really, it works.

3. Multitask.....as much as possible.  Return phone calls on long rides in the car, for example.

4. Cut down the errands.  Use amazon prime or instead of going to 4 different stores, go to one that may just about have everything you need......like Target or TJ Maxx.  (my favorite : )

5.  As far as cleaning and laundry, do a little each day.  When you time things like sweeping, or folding a load of clothes it only takes about 5 minutes but if you leave it all to one day and are cleaning the whole house or folding mounds of clothes, it's going to take much longer and seem daunting.  You can even fold or sweep while helping a child with homework. 

6.  Don't try to be supermom.  This means saying "no" to things you're asked to do, even things your children ask.  You can't do it all so don't pretend you can or even try.  Remember "no" is a holy word ( what my husband always tells me.)

7.  Find meals that are fairly simple with minimal ingredients.  I know we all want to be "french chefs" or "healthy moms" but really the healthiest, easiest and most kid friendly meals are the ones with the least number of ingredients and the fewest steps.

8. Simplify your morning routine.  Don't wash your hair everyday, tone down the make-up and try to do 2 or 3 things at once in this area.......like a facial mask, deep condition your hair, and shave your legs all at the same time.

9. Don't spend hours exercising, unless this is a hobby your really enjoy.  20 minutes of intense exercise gets better and faster results than an hour of low intensity. 

10. And don't be afraid to ask other moms to help.  We all can lend a hand, like carpooling places for example.  Or even swapping out child care or tutoring.  We are in this time frazzled world together!

4 Down and 6 to Go

Well, last month we had yet another one of our children graduate from high school.
It's always a surreal moment and one that doesn't get any easier no matter how many children you have.  They are each so unique and it really is a bittersweet time.  
The Christian high school that our children have attended has a wonderful way to celebrate these precious young men and women.  There is a baccalaureate service for awards and such, including a slide show of the graduates, and then the graduation service that evening.  Each student has a table of pictures and memorabilia to celebrate their accomplishments and personalities.  The teachers and students who speak are awesome and this year the main speaker was NC Supreme Court Justice.
All that to say, my little guy grew up.  He became a strong, fun, personable, lovable man of God and I know God has great things for him ahead.  We all love him so much and I think he was also a little sad at graduation.  He made so many special friends as well as being a role model to younger students.  Teachers kept coming up to me and saying how much they will miss him, his smile and friendly demeanor.  I'm so thankful that I was able to homeschool him for 9 years and then have him attend such an awesome high school.  
He will be staying local and attending NC State, so I'm super glad about that!  Here are some pictures from that evening.

Difficult Times

We all go through hard times.  We all go through seasons.  I'm thankful for the change in seasons and how God keeps things interesting.  But why am I not thankful for hard times?  They draw me closer to the Lord.  They bring me to my knees.  They humble me and sober me but why do I just want to get through them?  To just be on the other side.  To have all my prayers answered the way I want them answered.  To be through the pain.  I guess we all rush it, we all don't want difficult times, because they hurt.  Not only that, they shake our faith.  They make us wonder what we did to deserve this, where is God, why didn't we see this coming, and a host of other doubts.  

As a mother, I've been through hard times before but these past months have truly been some of the hardest.  Though I can't get into the details, God has been faithful.  God is using this to draw me closer to Him and to get rid of any idols in my life.  I've learned to just let Him have it all, to just give it to Him and walk away.  As a mother, when it comes to our children, this is very hard.  No matter how old they may be, they are still our babies and really a part of us. But as they age, we have to slowly let go and this means letting them make mistakes.  We can't control them anymore.  We can only trust God with them.  He loves them even more than we do. 

I wanted to write this post not only to explain why I have not blogged lately, but to encourage anyone going through difficult times as well.  You are not alone.  We all smile and many times pretend everything is fine, but we need to be more transparent with each other.  We need to ask for help, ask for prayer and not be afraid of being judged.  I also wanted to encourage all of us moms to "let go and let God."  I know that sounds cliche but really it's true.  Our children are not our own.  They are the Lord's and we have been given them for a time as stewards.  We may be able to control them when they are little but not forever.  The sooner we learn to let go, to trust them to the Lord, really the better it will be....not only in our own heart but in theirs as well.  

Job 2:10 "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?"

MakeTime for Your Man

My husband and I just went on our yearly Carribean vacation sans kids.  

Yes, it's kind of pricey but we budget all year so we can go. 
 Yes, it's hard to leave the kids but it's actually good for them and great for us as a couple. 
 Yes, it takes planning, finding the best sitter, preparing meals ahead of time and making lists and more lists.  But let me tell you, it is so worth it!  

Like I've said in previous blog posts, your kids will grow-up and leave home but your spouse will be there with you for a a life time.  Also, a great analogy is a living cell.  If the nucleus of a cell is not healthy, the whole cell is unhealthy.  Our marriage relationship is the nucleus of our family cell. It seems like so many moms now-a-days put so much time, energy and mental energy into keeping their children happy and healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually healthy) but very little time into keeping their marriage relationship happy and healthy.  I'll get off my soap box now, but I like how my husband put it in an instagram post he did, "Sabbatical, rest, recovery.  Our marital soul is in desperate need of these like a car needs a tune-up.  Between kids, jobs, bills and disappointments our hearts cry out for a soul connection to God's greatest gift to us-our life covenant partner." 

So, even if you have to take your nursing baby with you (notice I said baby not toddler..haha) and can't go very far, just do it.  Go away with your hubby and give him the undivided attention he deserves. 

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Like a bad attitude in the grocery store and not so healthy items in the grocery cart.

Many times I have younger moms tell me, "gee, you're so chill about everything."  Now those who know me better know this is not always the case.  I certainly have my moments but I think it's funny how moms I meet in our homeschool group, at church or just around our neighborhood think I'm so relaxed.  One mom told me recently, "You just seem not to get frazzled by small things."  Well, I hope that is true and I think after years of parenting so many children, I've learned to not sweat the small stuff.  By small stuff, I don't mean essentials (see previous post) or things that will have a lasting effect on my life or one of my children's lives.  But here are some things I see moms "sweating over" that just really don't matter in the long run. 

-My child made a B so they won't get in a good college.
-My child didn't make the right soccer team.
-My child didn't get the right part in the play.
-My child doesn't say "please" and "thank you" every single time.
-Or younger moms, "I had to wean my baby before 12 months."
-My child has been so grumpy lately (they're teenagers, it's normal)
- My child ate a non-organic fruit or worse, fast food!
-My child watched a mindless TV show.
-My child wants to wear the same outfit everyday.
-My child says they don't like church...gasp!

Well, you get the picture. 

Sometimes I just want to tell these moms, "Chill out!  You're letting these minor things steal your joy and rob you of this precious, fleeting time with your young children!"
So, let's all take a deep breath and try to see things from God's eternal perspective and not sweat it. 

No Formula for Parenting, But...

Now we all know that as much as we wish it were true, there is no "formula" to parenting.  It would be so nice to be guaranteed some kind of "perfect" kids if we just followed a laid out plan. But, it's really not the case, inputs don't always equal outputs.  This is an issue that I have wrestled with over the years. As I've processed it, God has helped me settle the matter in my heart.  We just have to be obedient to the Lord, follow His leading and trust the rest to Him.  All our children are unique and will make their own choices.  We can get so stressed as parents thinking if we make one wrong decision, our kids will end up delinquents or worse not in relationship with us or the Lord.  Well, what is "perfect" anyway?  My goal is to raise children that love the Lord with all their heart, mind and soul.  So here are some things to simplify the matter.  Some things that I think are essential and then I just leave the rest to the Lord.  I can't stress about it all.  God wants us free to enjoy Him and enjoy our children and enjoy motherhood, not anxious micro-managers of our kids.  

So here you go......my "formula":

1.  Be involved in a Bible believing church.  Attend regularly, get to know the people there.  Be accountable to them and let your children learn from the leaders there.

2. Love your children and set a good example to them. This means being nice and loving to your husband and children while trying your best to follow God's word and live a godly life.

3. If at all possible, homeschool your children or send them to Christian school with a Biblical worldview.  If for some reason this is not an option, you will need to be more intentional with teaching them the Word and Bible memory.  As they get older, have them take courses such as World View Academy to offset the worldly values taught in secular schools. 

4. Have family devotions at least weekly and eat meals together as a family.  During your family dinner meals pray and talk to each other about your day.  Even secular studies show the benefit of the family dinner table.  

Well, that's it.  I'm just going to relax and leave the rest to Lord.  

Goodbye 2015. Hello 2016!!

My top Instagram posts basically sum up 2015.

Happy New Year from all of us!

It was so wonderful to have everyone home for the holidays.  Having all my babies home for more than a few days is something that becomes more and more rare as they all get older.  I know it is hard to imagine this if you are still surrounded by a bunch kids under 10 years old but it will come for you one day as well.  Having kids a wide range of ages also brings new challenges.  Such as my littles are still up at the crack of dawn and my older kids want to stay up past midnight!  But God gives grace and I think it is so healthy for college/high school kids to be around young ones and vice-versa.  I think this is what the family unit is supposed to be, loved ones together of all ages!  We even had both grandmothers here for Christmas as well.  Such a blessing!
In looking forward to 2016, I only have a few resolutions that I will mention.  I try not to make too many lofty goals but I do pray about changes that I know the Lord wants me to make.

1.  Blog more, even if they are shorter posts.

2.  Step out of my comfort zone. (Like the mission trip I took this past year.  Don't be afraid to obey God and go where He leads.)

3.  Enjoy homeschooling more and attempt to make it more fun. 

4.  Be more ministry focused instead of self-focused.

5.  Pursue more friendships with like minded women and those God brings into my life. 

Sorry for the Brief Hiatus

So sorry for such a long break in my blog posts, but as you can see, I am OK!

I don't think I have ever gone this long without posting and I just wanted to say thank you to those who noticed and sent me comments and emails.  It was such a very busy fall for us and my New Year's resolution is to post weekly.  Maybe that is a little ambitious but I'm going to try.  I seem to think that I have to have a good chunk of time and write a pretty long post for it to be worth it.  But I'm thinking I might just try doing more frequent posts but they would be shorter.  Just snippets of encouragement or funny things we have happening around this crazy busy house of ours.  

But anyway, here is our fall in a nutshell...........

I had 2 boys playing football this fall.  Christian playing Varsity and Luke playing JV.  It was fun but busy.  I hosted quite a few spaghetti dinners for the varsity team.  This picture is from Christian's last game and as you can tell, he had been crying.  Being a senior on your last game is hard.  It was such a great season for him. Even getting a concussion and unable to play 3 games, he still made Offensive Player of the Year and All Conference Running Back.  Nothing like cheering for your boys on the football field.  Luke had a great season as well and got to play in some Varsity games too as a 9th grader. So glad he has 3 more years of high school ball.  We all love going to the games.  It's quite a family event.

Another major thing that happened this fall was that I was able to go with Christian and his senior class to Costa Rica on a mission trip!
All of my older 3 children have gone on the same trip with the Christian school that my children attend for high school.  In the past, I was always pregnant or nursing so not able to go with any of them.  This past summer Ron really encouraged me to go and I felt the Lord leading me as well.  I applied and not only went as a mother chaperon but also the trip nurse.  It was quite out of my comfort zone but let me tell you, I had such an awesome time.  I'm so glad that I listened to my husband and obeyed the leading of the Lord.  The trip was so incredible! Seeing these young high schoolers minster, bless and share the gospel with the young Costa Ricans was amazing!  I got to know so many of the girls so well and use my nursing skills.  Here are some pictures.......

My boy with the Chicos!  They loved him.

All of the chaperones. I had such a fun time getting to know these other moms, dads and teachers. 

And my littlest guy, Patrick, started playing soccer on a 4 year old team.  He was the highest scorer for the other team!  I guess we need to work with him on scoring in the right goal. 

Here he is telling me about his new friend he made.  Patrick really just wants to talk to everyone, including the coach and other team members during the game!

Well, this was a little fall overview.  This post didn't include all the bumps, bruises, fights and disappointments that of course happen in a family this size.  It also didn't include all the joys, hugs, tender moments and the great things the Lord is doing in our lives.  I promise to keep everyone more updated and my posts will be coming more frequent in 2016!  Happy New Year!

Starting My 20th Year Homeschooling...... Some Tips I've Learned

Our school picture for the 2015-2016 school year.  Notice we don't wear shoes.

I guess now that I'm starting my 20th year homeschooling, I'm probably considered a veteran homeschool mom or even a pro. But really, I don't feel like either of those.  I'm still learning how to do this correctly and I know I've made lots of mistakes.  So, that's my disclaimer and I'm very thankful for God's grace and His ability to take our shortcomings and use them for His glory.  
But for any new homeschool moms, here are a few tips that I've learned over the years:

1. Start each school day with prayer and the Bible.  This doesn't have to be some fancy family devotional.  Most of the time we start with the Lord's prayer, our memory verses for the month and scripture reading.
2. Have a schedule and a plan.  Don't just tell your kids to grab their school books, sit at the table and get going.  This approach with lead to you putting out fires all morning. If you have multiple children, you'll be running from one child to another to answer questions and help.  Have a set time to spend with each child and try to keep it uninterrupted.  This way you can go over all their work for the day and correct yesterday's work with them right there with you.  Each child will know that they have a certain time for you.
3. Be sure to keep you mornings free.  Remember, to homeschool, you have to be home, right?  I rarely plan anything during our school hours.  Think of it as a job.  Maybe once a month I will plan a field trip but I have learned to say "no" to many seemingly great educational things for my kids to do.  If there is one thing I see now with homeschool moms, it's that their kids are involved in way to many activities, clubs, sports, arts, etc.  But that's really another post.
4. Start as early as is practical for your family. Even though my husband and I get up early in the morning to exercise and to have our quiet times, we don't start school until about 9:15am.  We like to have our chores done, the kitchen clean and everyone dressed for the day. I'm not a fan of schooling in pajamas or even me in sweaty work-out clothes.  I think children perform better and are less lazy when they are dressed.  This encourages them to be serious about their school work and prepares them for adulthood.  
5. Be OK with admitting when something is not working. Say the math curriculum you bought back at the homeschool conference that looked so awesome is bringing your child or even yourself to tears, well be OK with ditching it and getting something else.  Tweak your schedule if things aren't  running smoothly or change up history and science activities.  There is no homeschool police that's going to come to your home and check to see if your child filled in all those silly science workbook pages!
6. Enlist the help of your husband, particularly with discipline and encouragement.  Also, don't be afraid to ask for help from tutors or other homeschool moms.  We are all in this together!
7. And just lighten up!  I've really had to do this. Is it our goal to raise perfect little Christian robots who score amazing on the SAT?  Well, if it is, then it shouldn't be.  We are homeschooling because we feel that God has called us to, right?  And because we love to be with our kids.  So, let's let God do His work and leave the outcome to Him.  The most important thing is remaining in harmony with the Lord and with our kids. 

Why I Need to Stop Crying at Birthdays.......(not talking about my own)

I'm having a hard time with birthdays lately.  Now I'm not talking about my own.  Getting older for me really isn't that big a deal.  But it seems like everytime I turn around one of my kids is having a birthday! With 10 children, we have at least one birthday just about every month.  And what's up with this growing-up thing?  It happens almost overnight, or so it seems.  My 5th child just passed me in height and I'm wondering when that happened. Shouldn't there have been some trumpet blasting or something to warn me it was coming.  My little guy in the picture above turned 17 this past spring and the picture on the left is how I still see him in my mind most of the time.  My oldest daughter just had her 21st birthday this month.  In talking to other moms, I think we all agree that we feel the same as we did 10 plus years ago but our children change so much.  They grow physically but also their personalities grow and change.   I do love to celebrate birthdays, making the day extra special for my child.  But lately, I've been so sad.  I don't want to feel this way.  I want to rejoice in their growing-up but I miss their little selves. I have such good memories and I dread them growing-up and moving away. My husband handles it much better than me, telling me that this is how it should be.  He always says that if they don't grow-up then they can't be your best friend.  I try to keep a happy face on around the birthday child.  Many times we look at their baby book and talk about their birth.  We also have a tradition of going around the table during our family dinner time and everyone saying what they love about that child the most.  It's always fun and funny until it's my turn.  Then I start to get all mushy as I talk about how much that child means to me and our family.  Everyone says, "Mom stop crying!"  I guess it's just life and as a mom of many I really need to get over it.  If you still just have little ones, don't rush this time.  It will pass so quickly and those little chubby hands will be big man hands all too soon.  Those little hair bows will be in the trash.  The high chair and crib will be put in the attic and your car will actually be clean! And pray for me that I can stop crying at birthdays and just be thankful, happy to have been blessed to raise this precious child. 

What I'm Doing This Summer

Anyone that knows me or has followed my blog for the last few years, knows I like summer and I like to get things done in the summer.  As a homeschooling mom, it really is a nice break from the regular teaching routine and from all the usual extra-curricular activites.  I typically make a bucket list of sorts to get done during the summer.  Things like organizing and deep cleaning the house, scrapbooking, exercising more, etc.  But this summer I've decided to chill. To just enjoy the break, enjoy my children and not try to get all the lists checked off.  This past year I had a lovely homeschool mom friend pass away with cancer, another dear friend also get diagnosed with cancer, my oldest son was almost deployed to Iraq and my mother will be turning 80 soon and becoming more frail. All these things have made me ponder life.  I've realized that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow with those we love and we won't have these precious years forever with our children at home. 

So here is my list of what I'm doing this summer:

1.  I'm not setting my alarm unless I really have to. 

2.   I'm taking my kids to the pool when they want to and actually getting in the pool and playing with them.

3.  I'm hiring help so that I can do extra things with my older kids or spend more time with my mom.  

4.  I'll get my older kids to do the organizing and cleaning out, if they need things to do and want extra money.

5.  I'm going tent camping for the first time!  My kids and husband have always wanted me to go with them and now that the baby is 4, I think I can try it!  (I'm sure that I'll have a blog post on how it turns out.)

6.  I'm going to stay in my PJ's longer and spend time reading fun books and play more with my kids.

7.  I'm not going to be so obsessed with the clock or my schedule.

8.  I'm going to hug more, laugh more and say "I love you" more. 

9.  I'm going to go on more dates with my husband, even in the day time. 

10.  I'm just gonna chill!

Why I Shouldn't of Had 10 Kids

I hear just about every day from someone who may be a friend, new acquaintance or a stranger a pretty similar comment.  It goes something like this, "I could NEVER  have 10 kids!" Actually, many times it's, "I could never have 3 or 4 or 5 or whatever!"  Now I'm really right there with these women.  I'm no super mom.  I'm just a regular girl trying to follow the Lord's will. 

Well, I decided to make a list of the reasons why I really shouldn't of had so many kids:

1.  I'm selfish and self-centered.  I basically was raised a spoiled little brat that got whatever I wanted.  

2.  I'm not a natural servant.  I grew up being served not serving.  When I take all those spiritual gifting tests, servanthood is always last on my list.

3.  I spent a lot money, tears and work on my bachelor's degree in nursing, so I should use it and not stay home with babies.

4.  I'm RH negative.  Yes, if I lived 60 years ago I probably wouldn't of been able to have more than 2 healthy children. So I'm thankful for medical science!

5.  I'm not crafty and I can barely sew.

6. I'm not patient, in the least!  Now I have learned some patience (which I think is one reason God gave my so many kids) but ask any of my children whom I've taught to read and they will tell you how patient I am (smirk....please don't ask them.)

7. I don't like my plans being changed or being interrupted. This is a daily occurrence when you have even just one child.

8. I wasn't the best babysitter growing up and I absolutely hated pediatric nursing.

9. I don't like messes or cluttered dirty houses.  This has been a real life changer for me.

10. I like to have "me time" and my husband likes to have "me time with me and no kids."  I think he's looking forward to retirement age. 

But God molds us and changes us.  He knows what we are capable of, even when we don't.  He gives us the grace, strength, patience, etc. when we need it.  Many times not before, because then we would think that we are capable on our own and can do it without Him. Where God calls, He equips and I'm so very thankful for that.  Of course, the world would look at my list and say "no way this lady should have more than 2 kids, let alone 10."  But everyday I look at my precious children and I'm so glad that by God's grace, I didn't listen to the world. 

The Low Key Family Birthday Party vs. The Pinterest Party

Now, I just want to preface this with saying that I don't have anything against pinterest.  I actually like pinterest but I really feel for moms these days.  Pinterest parties are just not reality.  They are expensive and time consuming and I think down right stressful for young moms.  Most children just want a happy mom, a few friends or family over and an easy cake with some presents and they are happy.  No need to spend a ton of time and money on a 4 year old's party and especially a 1, 2 or 3 year who won't even remember the party anyway.  I'm so glad that I had most of my children before there was even pinterest or the pressure to have these elaborate bday parties.  Notice my very "homemade" looking birthday cake.  Patrick picked out what he wanted on top and said he wanted chocolate and that was that. Our family is a party in itself (another good reason to have siblings for your children.)  Then we bought and made him some presents.  He was a happy boy, I was a happy mom and all my other children just loved seeing him be the little prince for the day.  So I just want to say, don't feel that you have to go to great lengths to have some fancy, unique themed party for your children.  I think most of it is just for show anyway and ends up being way to much time and trouble.  This is another area in life where I think keeping it simple is your best bet.  Happy Birthday Patrick!!!

Snow Days/Rainy Days.....Just Embrace it

It's been a long winter for most of the USA and while spring has sprung, or at least is trying to spring, here in the south I know that many places up north are still buried in snow.  We had more than a few snow/ice days here in North Carolina this past February and I must admit I got a little tired of it.  I didn't grow-up with snow so it's still kind of a novelty for me so I do think it's beautiful.  But not so much when it starts to turn all brown and dirty and everything, including school, gets canceled.  Then we all become a little stir crazy.  I know you other moms can relate.  And most people think that because we homeschool, that we just keep going with school...not!  My older kids, who go to private school, are off and my homeschooled kids want to play in the wonderful snow, like all day.  This makes quite a mess when you have 9 people plus a few friends, coming in and out of the house with wet, muddy, snowy clothes.  We did have a fun time and the day we got 6 inches, I even went out and played in it.  I finally just gave-up trying to keep the house clean, do school and stay on a healthy diet.  Because you know when it's snowy outside then everyone wants homemade hot chocolate and all I want to do is bake cookies.  But when I did just give-up and embrace the reality of "snow days" that is when I started to enjoy it and relax.  These days are so fleeting and no school work or clean house is worth us moms walking around the house all grumpy.  So, let us moms just chill out some and enjoy life. You know the saying, "If mom's not happy, ain't nobody happy."  This is so true and we want our children to have happy family memories.  I'm talking to myself mostly here. Let's just embrace the snow days, the rainy days, even the sick days and be thankful for the precious children God has given us to make memories with. 

The Scale

I saw this above picture on a friend's facebook page and it really hit a cord with me.  I guess because I know so many women that really seem in bondage to the scale.  I for one, do not own a scale and rarely ever weigh myself and this is why.  I realized in my late 20's that my happiness or how I felt about myself was greatly dependent on what the number on the scale said.  If I weighed within what I thought was good for me, then I was so happy but if I weighed more than I wanted to, then I was pretty much depressed the whole day.  That is just plain wrong!  Nothing should have that much control over our emotions or how we feel about ourselves, if it does then it is an idol.  I grew-up with a father that weighed himself every day and wrote it down.  He didn't seem to stress over it, but he's a man and his daughters and wife sure were stressed if they felt fat at all.  A few years ago when I was loosing baby weight, I was looking at buying a scale at Target.  My husband quickly said, "no way!"  He did not want me weighing myself regularly and getting into bondage and passing that on to my daughters.  I never talk about weight to my girls.  I talk nutrition, being healthy and fit to do what God has called them to do but I never talk weight or fat.  I also try to never down-talk myself or my body.  That is also a really bad example that your children pick-up even if you don't want them to.  Now, if a person has over 30 pounds to loose or has been told by a health professional that they should loose weight, then they should weigh regularly to make sure the scale is going down.  I still would shy away from owning one though.  It seems that most women I know that are bondage to the scale are already thin.  They weigh daily and get upset when it's up and they have been "eating basically nothing but vegetables."  I do not think God wants us obsessing with the scale or numbers.  I really do only weigh when I have to go to the doctor.  Instead of weighing, I just go by how my clothes are fitting.  Once I got to the size I wanted to be when I was doing THM after my last baby, then I just decided to maintain by exercising daily and eating healthy. And for the record, I didn't really weigh when I was doing THM either.  I lost a good amount of weight and when my husband and daughter told me not to loose anymore, then I relaxed and was not so strict.  Anyway, I think we as women need to walk in freedom and just say "good-bye" to the silly scale (which can fluctuate by the minute for us women anyway!)  Just like this saying above, we are valued by our love for others and the love they have for us.  What makes us truly beautiful is the love of Jesus shining from our eyes and our lives, not how thin we are. 

Daddy daughter Dancing

My darling husband took my 3 younger girls to a Valentine Daddy/Daughter Dance

What a precious thing, Dads and daughters celebrating Valentine's together.  My father never took me to a Daddy/Daughter dance.  Maybe because these didn't exist in the 70's and 80's but boy I wish they would of!  When I think about how fun and special that would of been, it brings tears to my eyes. Probably because my father has passed away.  I do remember dancing with my dad, particularly on a river cruise boat and the special times we had alone doing things together.  Mostly we played tennis, rode bikes, or just had fun driving around in the car singing together.  We as moms need to encourage our husbands to do special things with our daughters; things that don't involve us.  These are memories that will stay in our precious girls' hearts forever, even if they are "sharing" their dad with a sister.  We can't forget the importance of a father in the lives of our daughters.  According to a study released by Baylor University,

" shared activities form some of the most pivotal memories and bonds between fathers and daughters.

Shared activities. When dad and daughter do something together.

The daughters in the study, all 22 years or older, identified three kinds of activities that changed the course and depth of their bonds with their dads:

1. Sports: Doing a sport opened lines of communication, created shared play moments together, and encouraged the daughter to “take risks and stand up for themselves.”
2. Working Together: Engaging in some tasks together helped daughters see a different side of their dads.
3. Vacations: Time spent together on vacations opened up communication and deepened bonds in unique ways.

Not only that, building these bonds with our daughters apparently helps them be more successful in school as well. As a matter of fact, researchers are seeing that dads sometimes have a bigger impact on their daughters’ success than moms."

So, like I said we moms need to give our husbands opportunities and ideas to help them with our daughters.  Don't let this special time pass by!

Sweet Caroline

Darling Elisabeth Daisy

My littlest sunshine girl "Cakey"

Mulltitasking Gone Wrong

Never multitask while driving!

We all know that multitasking is good and we as moms do it all the time, like..........
-make dinner, while talking on the phone and teaching spelling.
-referee a fight between 2 children while at the same time counseling your best friend on your cell phone via text.
-return emails during your kids soccer practice.
-nurse a baby and paint your nails at the same time (yes, I have done this and actually you get to where you can nurse a baby and do just about anything!)

Well, you get the picture.
We were made for this, as women, you know. I really think God did design the female species to be able to do 3 things at once so we could manage a household and children.

But sometimes multitasking can really go wrong.  I was convicted recently about this so I'm speaking to myself too.  
Here are some examples, particularly related to our spiritual lives; things that I have done to save time (I am all about efficiency and saving time.)

Listening to my Bible on speaker phone while I'm showering and getting dressed in the morning.

Having my prayer time while jogging/walking in the morning.

My only time of praise/worship happening in the car while driving kids around town.

Wow, what an efficient Christian mom I had become!  I could check 6 things off my mental to-do list in the time it takes me to do 3!

Now, there is nothing wrong with doing the above things, but when they begin to replace our regular Bible reading, quiet time or prayer time then we are headed for trouble.  You know, God doesn't want just part of us.  He doesn't want to be in our "multi-tasking/how fast can I get this done" category.  We really need to spend quiet time alone with Him, just sitting in His presence and mediating on Him and His word, just really worshipping Him with ALL our focus on Him.  I read an article recently in a popular secular magazine that went on and on about meditation being so healthy for people and how healthy, happy, famous, successful people do it everyday, etc, etc.  I thought how the world is searching for peace and sometimes they know better than us Christians the importance of spending time quiet, clearing our minds and focusing on the good things in our lives (the Lord) and cultivating a thankful spirit. 

And while I'm thinking about multitasking with the Lord, I also got convicted about multitasking with our children.  Our children are our most precious gift from the Lord and how many times do we not really listen to them, really watch them, really play with them because we are "multitasking"?

Just because we rationalize what we are doing as multitasking does not make it right.  I pray that we can slow down and focus on what we're doing, have our true quiet time with the Lord and really be in the moment with our children. In fact, my littlest guy wants me to play soccer with him right now and I'm going to do fully.....no multitasking allowed!

Things People Ask My Children About Being in a Large Family

Recently I was in the kitchen with a few of my kids (actually it seems like I'm always in the kitchen with a few of my kids : ) and one of them told me a question that they had been asked at school about being one of 10 kids.  The other child laughed and said, "yeah, I get that same question all the time, plus a few others."  I had never heard them talk about this and thought it was rather funny and interesting.  So here of some of the things they told me that they get asked quite a bit.........

1. Who is your favorite sibling? (this child said he doesn't have a favorite)

2. Who are you the closest to out of all of them? (I think this changes with the age the child is)

3.  Do you have to fight for your food? (like, seriously)

4. Do you get enough food? (my children are all on the thin side but really, do they look malnourished?!)

5. How do your parents feed all those mouths? (well, this is a challenge)

6. Is it super loud in your house all the time? (well, not all the time)

7. How do you get your school work done with so many people around? (this child said he worked better with noise and family chaos ;)

8. Do you have a giant house? (it's plenty big, 5 bedrooms, even though my husband thinks it's not big enough) 

9. Are there any twins or any adopted? (I get this one a lot too and the blended family question)

10. Are you guys Catholic or Mormon? (this one my son says he gets the most and no, we are neither)

11. How old are your parents? (now that one is kind of personal)

12. So, are you going to have that many kids too? (I don't even want to know the answer to that one!)

These are all true questions they have been asked.  I did a blog post a while back on the questions and comments my husband and I get titled "Things People Say."  
You other moms of many should ask your kids what they get asked and let me know : )