Toddler Woes

What is it with toddlers?  Why are they either delightful, charming little people or crying, screaming little monsters? There seems to be no in between.  It's been a while since I had a typical toddler.  With Matthew having down syndrome, the toddler years have been long but pretty smooth.  He can get mad and want his way, but not that often.  My daughter before him was a pretty fierce toddler and there were many times I contemplated day care.....seriously : )  But Patrick is in the midst of the "terrific twos" as I positively call it and some days we are all at our wits end.  Now don't get me wrong, he is such a joy and so fun to be around.......when he's getting his way!  He's very verbal for a 2 year old boy and this makes life really funny but also gets him in trouble.  I dont' think I've ever had a 2 year old that said more inappropriate things.  He already has to be disciplined for his words!  I think God must of made him extra verbal to help Matthew, who still doesn't speak clearly very often.  

As you can probably guess from the picture above, he did not want to share the "police car" with his little friend.  I mean, why can't everyone just leave him alone and let him have everything he wants whenever he wants?! Below is another pouty picture taken the same day because he also didn't want to share the swing or smile for the picture.  In all fairness, he was ready for a nap.  You know us moms always have a good excuse for our children's bad behavior.  I still make excuses for my older kids too and my husband calls me on it!

If you are in the midst of toddler years at your house too and the behavior struggles that only they can have, here are a few tips I've learned over the years.  Please feel free to add, because I still need help with this little guy!

1.  Keep to as much as a schedule as you can.  This gives them security and a routine seems to lessen the bad behavior.

2.  Don't let them talk you out of a nap.  If their nap is starting to keep them up at night, just wake them up after an hour or so.  You could even have them nap earlier.  So much bad behavior I think is due to over tired, over stimulated kids.  

3.  Make sure they have their own toys that no one else will bother, but talk to them about sharing before they have a friend over.

4.  Be firm with the "no!"  They need to hear "no" quite a bit and we need to stick to it.  Don't ever let screaming or temper tantrums get them their way.

5. Use time out, especially in the crib if you still have one up.  I know my toddler will walk out of a regular time out and it becomes a major battle.  But boy, if I put him in the crib for 2 minutes, he says he's sorry and comes out a much nicer boy.

6. Make sure they are fed and watered (haha)!  Quite a bit of negative behavior can be related to low blood sugar or dehydration.  Their little bodies need more constant nourishment than ours.

7.  Don't think they don't understand.....they do!  They are also great manipulators, which my husband frequently points out.  We mothers have to watch this......I know I need help!

I love him so!  He's such a joy and a charmer!  I thank God for him everyday : )

Who Would of Thought that #10 Could Be So Unique

You would of thought that after having 9 children, each so different, that we would of seen it all.  The funny thing is,  just about everyday we see something Patrick is doing that none of our other kids did before. All my children have  each been so different and we laugh about all their cute, little things that was unique them.  God is so creative and parenting never gets boring.  Patrick is just as loved, as fun and as "himself" as an only child or as a first born or as a "whatever" born.  We enjoy him so much!  Anyway, here are some little quirky things about him that none of our other children have ever done:

1.  He is the first to have a stuffed animal for a lovey.  I've had 2 others that had distinct "lovies" but one had a blanket and one a pillow.  Patrick has a stuffed panda that his brother bought him for his first Christmas.  Well, he has to have it to go to sleep and if we would let him, he would carry it around all day.

2.  He is the first to suck 2 fingers.  I've had 2 thumb suckers, but this is a first.

3.  He loves to have his shoes on all the time and right when he wakes up.  I had 2 other sons like this, but he is the first one to want his shoes over his feety pajamas. 

4.  He loves to do buckles.  He will spend long lengths of time trying to fasten the buckle on his high chair, or the stroller and when I put him in his car seat, he cries to buckle the car seat himself.  It's crazy because he is only 20 months and it takes him a long time and we both get frustrated : )

5.  Looking back at his infant stage, he was my easiest labor and delivery and my only pregnancy where my water broke naturally, sending me into labor and then was born 2 hours later.  (I did have 2 others where my water broke spontaneously but neither of their labors started for a good 10 hours later.)

6.  Also as a baby, he was only one to have the bili-light for newborn jaundice.

7.  And he is the only one that has an older brother copying him.  He is already teaching his 3 year old brother  with Down Syndrome how to say things, how to walk down the stairs standing up and how to unlock doors......not good : )

Ages, Stages and Chores

Matthew loves to "mop" 

I was recently asked a question regarding chores and a 4 year old child.  This mom wanted to know what she should expect of a 4 year in regard to helping around the house and even assigning her chores.  I know this goes against the current culture, but we really believe that doing chores and helping around the house is good for children.  I think it's so neat how my 19 month old even wants to sweep : ) Actually, I think he just wants to feel big and loves to whack the cat with the broom, but that's a different story.  
Anyway, here is a list of ages, stages and chores that I quickly thought of.  Please feel free to add more suggestions in the comments, as I know that I've probably forgotten something or just haven't been enlightened yet.....smile

2 year olds:
-Help clean-up toys.
-Hand dishes to you as you are unloading the dishwasher.
-Bring me the dirty clothes that an older sibling has thrown down the stairs and even help shove them in the washer.
(these last two Patrick loves to do even though he is not yet 2 years old yet)

3 year olds:
The above plus
-set the table
-unload utensil section of dishwasher 
-collect dirty clothes (we throw them down the stairs at our house)
-dress themselves and put dirty clothes in hamper
-start trying to make bed
-put shoes in cubbies
-stack books neatly

4 year olds:
The above plus
-feed animals
-straighten-up living room before Dad gets home or before bedtime snack
-clean windows and mirrors (with something non-toxic, of course)
-bring down small waste baskets on garbage night to be emptied.
-help with dinner prep

5 year olds:
The above plus
-unload and load complete dishwasher with help.
-make bed neatly and completely.
-clean toilets with toilet brush and wipe off counters in bathrooms.
-help sort clean laundry.
-dust

6 year olds:
The above plus
-sweep
-mop
-vacuum with a light vacuum, which we do not have : )
-straighten-up garage
-organize pantry or cabinets

By 7 years of age, most of my children have been able to do pretty much everything even though they will need training, supervising and it still may not be done as well as the mother or father would of done.
It's nice to have the whole family working together on Saturdays to get the house clean (many hands make the work light, and fast!) and we all feel a since of accomplishment.  We have had cleaning ladies or companies in the past, but the kids don't take quite the ownership of the house when they aren't the ones cleaning and keeping it straight.  Now they are more careful about making messes and keeping it clean.  They are also learning life skills (IE, "reality" when they are living on their own one day) and getting exercise in the process!
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An Awesome Book

I've recommended many books in past posts, but I've never written a whole post about one book, until now.  I don't know the author or publisher, so there is nothing in this for me : )  But this is a great book.  I've read many books on parenting little ones over my 20 years of parenting and this is probably one of the best ever.  It's a quick, easy read.  In fact, I finished it in a few days and quickly picked it up again to read it through a second time.  I don't know if I've ever done that with a book.  If you want a good, uplifting, practical book that is worth the money, order this! The author has 5 children under 6 at the time of writing the book, so she knows what she is talking about and is living it too. I put the link at the bottom of this post. Here are a few little nuggets from the book that especially hit a cord with me........


"Your children are not a situation. They are individuals.  Disciplining an individual for a collective situation is a great way to alienate your children." 


"While your children are little, cultivate an attitude of sacrifice. Sacrifice your peace for their fun, your clean kitchen floor for their help cracking eggs.........Prioritize your children far and away above the other work you need to get done. They are the only part of your work that really matters."





loving the little years