Answering Some Homeschool Questions

Most of my little class I taught this past year in our Classical Conversations co-op.

I've had quite a few homeschool questions on my blog lately and also from friends and neighbors, so I thought I'd take some time to answer.  So here goes......

disclaimer: I'm not expert, even though I've been homeschooling for 17 years now.  I'm still learning : )


How do you homeschool and keep it fun at the same time?

Well, for one thing, school does not always have to be fun.  School is work for children and work is good. I do think children need to learn that most of the time in life things aren't fun and exciting.  I try to instill in my children a strong work ethic.  But that being said, I do want to make learning fun or at least interesting.  I think the main thing my children would say is fun about homeschooling is the read alouds we do.  They also really like the memory work we do with Classical Conversations, particularly the songs (this is how we learn the time-line, history facts, and our mulitplication tables.)  We also do fun field trips  at least once a month and they also love our homeschool co-op.  I think also not dragging school out the entire day helps as well.  We must remember that the experts say that 1 hour of homeschooling is equal to 3 hours of traditional school.  

How do you homeschool during stressful times?

There have been many times of stress over my 18 years of homeschooling, including family illness, death of loved ones, miscarriages, etc.  I think the main thing is to try to keep as much of a schedule as you can.  This is comforting to the children, even if not much school gets done.  This is one reason that I have my daily homeschool schedule posted in the kitchen and school room.  That way if my husband, an older sibling or sitter is watching all the kids then they can follow the schedule too.  Remember that real life situations are a great learning tool for children.  It's Ok to take a break from school for a while too.  Just read good literature to them, or have them read it themselves if they can, and do some math drills everyday.  You can make up things in the summer if need be. 

How do you homeschool with a newborn?

Some of the answers to this question are the same as the above and I also dealt with this in my post I wrote after I had #10 entitled, "I Won't Lie, It's Hard."  I do take a babymoon and don't do school for 2 weeks after the baby is born.  Then we ease back into it pretty easy the first week and then the following week go full swing.  I find in someways it's easier to school with a newborn than with a toddler (that would be another post : )  I just keep the baby with us and nurse him or her as needed.  I relax the schedule somewhat and keep our outside activities pretty low until the baby is at least 2 months old.  


How does your husband fit into the homeschooling picture?

My husband was the first one to ever mention homeschooling about 19 years ago and has always been a real encouragement to me.  This definitely helps but he also has a very busy career with 10 hour days away from home and traveling a few nights a month as well.  So he is considered our principal but that is about it.  There have been times that I have tried to assign a certain subject for him to do with a child, but it never seemed to really work out and put undo stress on him.  He does help in the evenings with the older children's papers (he is a better writer than me and better at editing.)  He loves to hear in the evenings what the kids have learned, particularly their memory work.  He also reads to them in the evening, either Bible stories or a read aloud that goes with the history we are studying.  I feel that my "job" is homeschooling my children and I let my husband do his.  
And remember if you want your husband to support you in your homeschooling endeavors, don't complain (at least not too much, smile)  or he will want to put them all in school. 

Keeping it Real

This is how I wish my children were most the time, especially in the car......

But this is how they usually are....doing crazy things in the house like playing basketball.

This is how I wish my kitchen always was... well at least when meals are over.

But this is how it usually is.

Like I've said before, blogs, and really all social media, tend to paint a "perfect" picture of our lives.  I am by no means perfect and our life is full of ups and downs.  My house is often messy, disorganized, and loud with someone crying.  I have doubts every day about raising my children in this sin-filled, ever changing, hard world we live in.  I was struggling with this recently and praying to the Lord about it.  I was wondering why things don't seem to always, or really even most of the time, turn out the way we think they should.  We begin to follow some "formula" for our lives thinking that because we are doing "this or that", we will get "this or that" result.  For example, if I'm homeschooling my children, taking them to church, spending time with them, etc. doesn't that mean that they will turn out like "perfect" little Christians or perfectly mannered and academically successful,  rich, happy, etc. Or if I'm feeding my kids healthy food and they are getting plenty of sunshine and exercise, taking vitamins, eating organic, etc. then they will most certainly be healthy, strong, smart and not get any devastating diseases. Well, we all know this is not the case.  I was crying out to God about this and I felt like He spoke to me, "Daughter, are you obeying me to get some predisposed outcome, or are you obeying me just to obey me because you love me?" Ouch!  I was convicted.  I needed to repent of doing what I felt like the Lord has called me to because I thought it would reap the harvest that I want and not simply doing it out of obedience.  The result is up to the Lord, not us.  We are to obey what He is leading us to do because we love and trust Him.  Whether this is homeschooling, quitting your job to stay home with your kids, giving up unhealthy food,  honoring and loving your spouse the way you should, etc. I'm not here on this earth to please or impress anyone but my Lord.  This is so freeing.  And the wonderful thing about this is, like my pastor said last Sunday, "When we obey the Lord, He responds and never disappoints." It may not be the way we want Him to respond or in the timing we would like, but He will remain faithful and true to us and His word.  So mothers, lets press on toward the goal of obeying the Lord in all things and walking closer to Him and leave the outcome, particularly as it pertains to our children, to Him.  

Please Tell Me That Cleanliness Is NOT Next To Godliness

I looked, and the phrase "cleanliness is next to godliness" is not in the Bible.  And thank goodness it's not, because we would all be failing around here.  I don't know if it's because I have 2 very busy toddler boys right now, or because just about everyone is home for summer and seeming to be home more than usual, or because I've been busy caring for my mom, but my house has been quite the "mess pit" lately.  Now don't get me wrong, it's basically clean.  We still do our deep cleaning on Saturday, but it's just been "messy."  Here are some examples.......

An all too common sight in my pantry.  Patrick and Matthew have learned how to open the pantry door, and because they both seem to be hungry all the time, they are forever getting into the pantry making a mess. And then tracking food all over the house. I may have to get some sort of padlock!

So this is the usual mess in my living room, particularly if I've been gone for any length of time.  Now I must admit, that I've been pretty chill about it lately, but my 14 year old has turned into the "clean dictator."  He doesn't like messes and if he comes home and the living room or his room looks like this, then look out!  He has even openly rebuked the babysitter : )

For the summer, my 19 year old has moved back home and is staying in the guest room/school room.  Well, it's a good thing we are not doing school right now.  His room is pretty bad.  Not to discourage anyone who is a mom of boys, but the messiness factor doesn't seem to improve with age.......at least not mine anyway.  Hopefully it will when they get married.  Please share any tips!

My number one mess maker, Matthew, left me a hint the other day.  I went in my bathroom and found my husband's drawer completely emptied out into the sink.  Then I looked at my sink and my drawer had been completely emptied as well.  Nothing on the floor, all of the stuff in the sinks.  I guess he had fun doing it, but it was a hint to me to clean out our bathroom drawers.  And that's just what I did.  They needed a good wiping out and purging......thanks Matt : )

I like the verse that goes, "Where no oxen are the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox." Proverbs 14:4 

My husband did a post on mess and I'll quote him, because I think it's really good............

"People make a mess. Children make a mess. Houses with

 people and a lot of children make big messes. You can't have children around and have things clean, in order and in good repair for very long. While the words "disorder" or "mess" seem undesireable, within anything of beauty there remains an element of chaos (think nature). I'm learning (with difficulty) that when I look at a dirty kitchen or a messy garage, I'm looking at lives being lived, in all it's chaos with people I love."

Yes, For The Record, My Kids Do Fight

Lest you think all my children are perfect and that our house is calm and loving all the time, I thought I'd let you all in on a little secret.  My children do fight!  As you can see from the above picture, it happens quite frequently with the youngest two.  And then the picture below of my teenage kids fighting, well arguing in the background. I think the picture is so funny, mostly because it was just accidentally caught on camera.

I've noticed some things lately about children and squabbles.  When they are young, like between 1 and 3, the fights are usually physical.  Like fighting over a toy, hitting, biting, etc.  Then by the time they are 3 or so, they have learned some self-control and know better (if they have been disciplined properly : ) So, between 3 and 13, the fights become mostly verbal.  I actually think this is even worse.  It's not at all funny or entertaining anymore, but just really sad.  It hurts me to hear children, especially siblings, verbally abusing one another or just being mean and selfish.  We don't take this lightly at our house.  One thing I do, besides punishing, is to have the person who said something mean or unkind first apologize.  Then, I have them say something nice to the other person.  This has to be more then, "you're good at soccer."  It has to be something meaningful.  Usually they both end-up laughing and I feel better about something positive being said.  Anyway, I've noticed that with teenagers though the fighting changes.  It's rarely physical anymore, thank goodness, and usually not so verbal either.  It's more of a snubbing or just ignoring the other person or even trying to avoid each other.  I also notice with my teens that they begin debating more.  Sometimes it's serious and deep, like theological issues, but other times it's something silly that really doesn't warrant an argument at all, like why they went to have coffee with "so and so."  Well, this is something I try not to intervene too much with, but just pray for them and try to point out each of their good points. I also try to get them to do fun things together.  I guess this is something all moms do of older kids.  I know my mom tries to put my siblings and I together and always smooth over everything. So, I have all three fighting stages going on in my house.  I guess it's just human nature and something we all have to work through.  Thank goodness with have the Lord to help us : )

Taking Care of Elderly Parents

My Mom this time last year holding tiny Patrick.

Sorry I haven't done a blogpost in a longer than usual time period.  It has been my turn to be the "parent" to my precious mother.  She had a fall last week that was pretty bad and was admitted for observation and tests.  She's been in the hospital 5 days now due to just not being "stable".  It's been hard and it's been pretty busy.  I'm the only child she has here in town and so I feel ultra responsible, even though I really wouldn't have it any other way.  She has some medical conditions they are trying to resolve while she is admitted and they are changing her meds and taking her off a bunch, which I think is really good.  The hardest part for me is realizing that even though she is an emotional support to me and such an encourager, I take care of her now, instead of her taking care of me.  I know this is a stage we all will go through with our parents, but it's still hard.  She seems so much like a child to me right now.  Being in the hospital has made her really confused at times, which I've never seen before.  But I'm so glad my children get to help take care of her and cheer her up.  It's so good for children I think to help care for their grandparents, be around them, love them and serve them.  I think it's how God intended it to be.  Yes, it may be hard at times but it causes us all to grow and it's REAL LIFE.......babies and the elderly and everything in between.  God loves all life, each stage no matter how hard is for a reason and is actually short lived in the scheme of things.  So anyway, pray for my mom and please send any advise....I could use it :)

Short Order Cook

Does anyone else out there with a good many small children feel like a short order cook?  I even find myself yelling, "Order up!"  I figured that on most days I make 3 meals and feed approximately 10 people each meal, so I feed about 30 people a day.  That's about as many as a small restaurant serves in a day!  And since most of my meals are made pretty fast and not too complicated, I think maybe I am a short order cook!  I don't make different things for each child, but they do have preferences and each has slightly different taste.....so my morning sounds like, "order up....scrambled eggs, grits, no toast."  Or "order up... grits only with butter and salt."  Then my lunches sound like, "turkey with cheese sandwich, extra mustard and no mayo."  Or "turkey and cheese sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes, mayo."  Then with dinner, I've started putting everything on the island, we say grace and then everyone (unless your under 6) makes their own plate.  This is my new thing and seems to take the stress out of making all the plates. I just have to watch and make sure certain children don't avoid all the veggies : )

Christian is my real helper in the kitchen.  He just helped me make homemade guacamole and in this picture is making yummy omelets.  He makes them better than I do.  He has gourmet taste buds so it's a good thing he likes to cook.  Everything has to be "fresh."  He keeps me motivated to make things homemade and with healthy, fresh ingredients.....well, off to finish the black bean soup to go with the guac!

The "Drama" of the Day

Most families with a few kids have the "drama of the week" but those of us with larger families have the "drama of the day" or possibly even the "drama of the hour."  Can anybody else testify to this?!

Above you see a precious picture of my Ellie trying to show everyone her first lost tooth, well actually the space where it was : )  This is the good kind of drama, until the tooth fairy is out of town and his assistant is up so much with the baby that she forgets to leave the money!  To make up for it, the sweet parents splurged and gave her a $5 bill!

Well, we've had more drama than usual lately......here is a sampling of some of the more interesting drama that has gone in the past week or so:

More tooth drama........one of my sons, who will remain nameless, had his permanent front tooth come completely out!  Due to a football injury it was weak, and he chewed on a pen and it broke off.  This was major drama for the mom and boy for about a week until it was fixed.  Thank the Lord we live in modern times!

Neighbor drama......another son, who also will remain nameless as well, caused the neighbor boy to get 7 stitches.  This happened during my mom's group when Ron was out of town and I was told nothing about it until the neighbor mom called here as my group was ending and she was pretty mad.  Of course, it was all an accident but tears were shed and apologies had to be made.

Mama drama......I got food poisoning and ended up in bed with horrible stomach pain and high fever for 3 days.  Then a bunch of tests were run to make sure it was nothing else major.

Of course, our days are full of little dramas too.  Like running out of gas and trophies won at tennis tournaments and teenagers getting in fights with friends, etc.  But I'm to keep a smiling face like my little Cakey below cause I never signed up for a boring life, right?

Our Lives Are So Very Full

Yes, full of comings and goings
full of cooking and shopping
full of laundry and cleaning
full of things breaking
full of conflicts, disciplining, and breaking up fights.

But more importantly, it's full of hugs and kisses
seeing children learn and accomplish their dreams
full of fun, exciting dinners
full of singing and laughing
full of snuggles in a rocking chair
full of good books and great music
full of the good life!

With November being a month of thankfulness, I'm trying to remain thankful and not
get bogged down with all I could complain about it.  This week we had a bug infestation
we had to treat, our less than 2 year old dishwasher broke and was too expensive to repair so we have to buy a new one (we have had to replace dishwashers so very much!  I guess they are not made for a family of 11 :o) and then we discovered signs of mice.  My boys caught one yesterday and we put traps out, but don't they usually come in families? : )

So, I'm going to look at all the good things my life is full of and try to remain extra thankful this month of November.

My little girls making their "we're scared of mice" faces!