Why I Need to Stop Crying at Birthdays.......(not talking about my own)

I'm having a hard time with birthdays lately.  Now I'm not talking about my own.  Getting older for me really isn't that big a deal.  But it seems like everytime I turn around one of my kids is having a birthday! With 10 children, we have at least one birthday just about every month.  And what's up with this growing-up thing?  It happens almost overnight, or so it seems.  My 5th child just passed me in height and I'm wondering when that happened. Shouldn't there have been some trumpet blasting or something to warn me it was coming.  My little guy in the picture above turned 17 this past spring and the picture on the left is how I still see him in my mind most of the time.  My oldest daughter just had her 21st birthday this month.  In talking to other moms, I think we all agree that we feel the same as we did 10 plus years ago but our children change so much.  They grow physically but also their personalities grow and change.   I do love to celebrate birthdays, making the day extra special for my child.  But lately, I've been so sad.  I don't want to feel this way.  I want to rejoice in their growing-up but I miss their little selves. I have such good memories and I dread them growing-up and moving away. My husband handles it much better than me, telling me that this is how it should be.  He always says that if they don't grow-up then they can't be your best friend.  I try to keep a happy face on around the birthday child.  Many times we look at their baby book and talk about their birth.  We also have a tradition of going around the table during our family dinner time and everyone saying what they love about that child the most.  It's always fun and funny until it's my turn.  Then I start to get all mushy as I talk about how much that child means to me and our family.  Everyone says, "Mom stop crying!"  I guess it's just life and as a mom of many I really need to get over it.  If you still just have little ones, don't rush this time.  It will pass so quickly and those little chubby hands will be big man hands all too soon.  Those little hair bows will be in the trash.  The high chair and crib will be put in the attic and your car will actually be clean! And pray for me that I can stop crying at birthdays and just be thankful, happy to have been blessed to raise this precious child. 

The Low Key Family Birthday Party vs. The Pinterest Party

Now, I just want to preface this with saying that I don't have anything against pinterest.  I actually like pinterest but I really feel for moms these days.  Pinterest parties are just not reality.  They are expensive and time consuming and I think down right stressful for young moms.  Most children just want a happy mom, a few friends or family over and an easy cake with some presents and they are happy.  No need to spend a ton of time and money on a 4 year old's party and especially a 1, 2 or 3 year who won't even remember the party anyway.  I'm so glad that I had most of my children before there was even pinterest or the pressure to have these elaborate bday parties.  Notice my very "homemade" looking birthday cake.  Patrick picked out what he wanted on top and said he wanted chocolate and that was that. Our family is a party in itself (another good reason to have siblings for your children.)  Then we bought and made him some presents.  He was a happy boy, I was a happy mom and all my other children just loved seeing him be the little prince for the day.  So I just want to say, don't feel that you have to go to great lengths to have some fancy, unique themed party for your children.  I think most of it is just for show anyway and ends up being way to much time and trouble.  This is another area in life where I think keeping it simple is your best bet.  Happy Birthday Patrick!!!

This Little Guy....#10 is 3!

My precious baby is 3 years old!
So very hard to believe.  We all love and enjoy him so very much.  He is the "life of the party" at our house.  I also tell people his is 3 going on 13 because he wants to be so big like his siblings.  Sometimes I just want to scream, "Don't grow-up so fast!"  We all cannot imagine life without him and I feel so very very blessed.
For a boy, he is super talkative and sometimes we even tell him, "Patrick it's time to stop talking." 

For his birthday we just had a family party that evening, since our family is like a constant party : )

But during the day we went to the park and even though it was rather chilly, we got some good pics.

This past 3 years sure have flown by and as I get older I cherish the time with my littles more and more.  

Love this little guy so much!
One thing I would say to young moms out there is......
don't rush it.  Don't always be looking for the next milestone to be reached or for things to get "easier."  Really they don't ever get "easier" as a parent, just different.  Enjoy where you are right now with your children, embrace it.  Be content, and yes, I'm talking to myself here too : )

A Letter To 16 Year Old Me

Dear Becca,

     You're 16 now, but this year will come and go so very quickly.  Enjoy your youth, don't compare yourself to others and stop over critiquing your appearance.  I know you probably hear things like this all the time, but 30 years from now you will know I was right.  
     Don't ever neglect your time with the Lord. He is your best friend and will be the only one who will always be there for you. Always have time alone to pray and read His word everyday. Don't expect others to always be around or even understand.  In fact, expect to be disappointed with people and then celebrate when you are not.  Even your parents, who are so very wonderful, will not always be there and will not always be perfect.  Enjoy them.  Their time on earth and in your life the way you know it now, is limited.  Cherish your siblings.  Work on building those bonds and work on forgiving.  Be thankful and stop trying to move on to the next stage........college, career, marriage, children, etc.  Be content where you are right now and make the most of every opportunity.
     As far as friends, be the friend that you want to have.  Don't let friendships fade.  People will go in and out of your life, but you will know the ones who are life long friends. Don't judge by outward appearances or first impressions.  You will find that your closest friends will not be those that you would pick out of a crowd.  Don't drop the ball.  Keep in touch with them.  Pray for them, be there for them, love them.  And God will bring that special someone into your life at just the right time.  Don't worry, you will KNOW that he is your soul mate.  He will make you smile like no other.  He will be your best friend, but more than that, he will be your better half.  
     Make the most of the time you have right now.....travel, read, give and hug those around you a lot!  They won't be around forever.  Laugh and enjoy life.  Life is so much more than how you look, who you are hanging out with or how much money you have.  Those things fade so very quickly. 
     God is so very faithful. Life is hard sometimes and really sad, difficult things happen.  But God is writing the story, not us, and He will not disappoint.  I'll leave you with these verses:
"Faithful is He Who is calling you to Himself and utterly trustworthy, and He will also do it (fulfill His call by hallowing and keeping you.) 1 Thessalonians 5:24 Amplified Bible

 "Who can discern his lapses and errors? Clear me from hidden and unconscious faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then shall I be blameless, and I shall be innocent and clear of great transgression.  Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord my firm, impenetrable Rock and my Redeemer."  Psalms 19:12-14 (Amplified Bible)


(A friend asked me to write a letter to her daughter who was turning 16. So in honor of my birthday week, I wrote it to myself : )


      

Today Marks 22 Years of Parenting

22 years!  Wow, it sure does speed by!  It seems like we were just bringing this little 6lb. 2oz. baby boy home to our little rent house in south Louisiana.  He was a great baby and an easy child.  I tease him that it's because he was so wonderful we had so many after him : )
I had tears in my eyes this morning as I realized how much I have enjoyed parenting him and just being a mother in general.  I wanted to encourage all you young moms out there, that it is so very worth it!  Nothing can fulfill us women like mothering and no place are we more content, valued and needed than in our homes.  I'm so glad God chose to trust me with this precious child and all the others He has graciously given us.  Don't give-up young moms!  Don't stop praying and seeking the Lord in how you are to parent.  Don't take one minute for granted.  Don't be discontent raising children and desire to be out of the home working in a career, or even working in ministry or volunteer work, or doing fun things like pursuing hobbies.  Each year speeds by and each memory is so very special.  Love on your babies today. Kiss your toddlers. Have fun with your older children and let them know how special and important they are.  Nothing compares to motherhood!

It's Been a Year

Wow, it's been a fast year since my precious #10 was born, but yet on the other hand it seems like he has always been in the family.  I can't imagine Patrick not here.  If anyone ever thinks that they could never love another child as much as their first or second or whatever, think again!  I love and enjoy him just like he was my first.  It's amazing how your heart just grows.  I guess it's how God can love all of us the same and yet we are so different and special to Him.  Being a mom of many has really helped me to understand The Father's heart towards us.  We all love Patrick so very much and feel so blessed to have him.  He's like the piece of the puzzle that fits perfectly but yet we didn't even know a piece was missing!
Here are some pics from his family bday party...........happy birthday John Patrick!

 All 12 of us sang happy birthday to him and presented him with his own little cake (a family tradition)

 I think we kind of scared him.  He really wasn't that into the candle or cake.

 Once I let him taste it, then he loved it.  I think he's my first child not to dig into the cake with his hands and make a big mess : )

 We bought him a few toys and the girls all picked out small things for him.  Things started to get a little crazy.

 Christian trying to get him to walk with the push toy.  He did it, well sort of.....

And then, of course, the fighting over the new toys started....to be expected!

God Gave Me Mattie To Pull Me Out of Myself

My special little guy just turned 3 years old this past week....so hard to believe how much I have changed in the past 3 years.  And so amazing how fast 3 years can go by.  Matthew is so unique, yet in so many ways just like my other children.  It just takes him a little longer to do and learn everything.  So of course I am learning patience, but mostly this little guy has helped me learn boldness.  God has used him to "pull me out of myself." If it weren't for Mattie, I wouldn't of met SO many people.  I wouldn't of had 4 therapists in my home every week, become a part of my local DS support group, started this blog, gone to numerous doctor appointments and met many health professionals, and the list could go on. But the wonderful thing is that he helps me on a daily basis talk and interact with people that I probably would never even glance at if it weren't for him.  You see, Mattie is social and never meets a stranger, especially men strangers : ) He loves older men the most and if we go somewhere, like Home Depot, where there are tons of men, he is reaching out to them, smiling at them and wanting them to hold him.  Believe it or not, I'm kind of  a shy and to myself kind of person, but I'm changing and Mattie is helping for sure.  God doesn't give us what we expect in life, but what we need.  God knew that I needed him!

My mom and Mattie on the Triangle Down Syndrome float in the Raleigh Christmas parade this past week.  He did so good, waving to everyone and being his social, charming self.

10 Little Girls and A Very Girlie Tea Party

Is this not the most adorable picture?

My precious Ellie asked for a tea party for her 7th birthday and of course I had to oblige.  We had 7 little girls over, plus my 3, and I made a high tea for them all.  Yes, they even drank Earl Grey, with lots of sugar cubes and milk ; ) It was so precious and so feminine and yet so little girly too.  They did a craft, which was decorating the above hats that I purchased from the craft store.  Don't they all look so beautiful wearing them? We also did nails and very light make-up.  Then before they ate, I had them look at each of their tea cups and how each one was different, but yet beautiful.  I talked to them about how that is how we are in God's eyes.  He made us each different, but each beautiful and special in our own way.  They all were such little ladies and minded their manners so well.  Here are a few pics from the event.

The table before they all sat down. I had Ellie pick out each tea cup for each girl.  I also made flower pens as a party favor for each girl.  You can see these above the teacups.

My older daughter and her friend were my precious helpers.  They did the craft and make-up stations with them and then served the tea.

Above are some easy vanilla pudding tarts I made with fresh berries.  They were so easy, but so pretty on the plate.  The one mishap that I had was that the chocolate covered strawberries got eaten by a wild animal on the porch.  I must admit that when I woke-up to that Saturday morning, I wanted to cry.  They were so pretty and there wasn't time to make anymore.

My sweet birthday girl with her cupcake tower! I served these after the tea.

All 10 of the little ladies....aren't they precious! 

Making Homemade Desserts More Healthy While Still Keeping Them Yummy

We have quite a bit of birthday cake, birthday cookies and birthday pie in this family.......just about one birthday each month.  And I love to bake desserts.  My passion with homemade desserts started when I was about 12.  I loved making elaborate homemade yummy things, and my family loved it too.  My mother and sister weren't much into cooking, so the deal was I cooked or baked something and they would clean-up.  Basically, it's the same now....just my kids and husband clean-up.  But my kids have gotten spoiled and every night they expect a homemade dessert.  I really love to cook desserts and eat desserts and see my children happy : )  So over the years I have figured out how to make desserts still taste great but are somewhat more healthy.  I don't ever use artificial sugars cause I like things natural and we don't have any children that really have to limit their sugar.  I've also tried the applesauce for the fat in a recipe and I really don't like the taste it produces.  Anyway, here are a few things I do to just about all my dessert recipes to make them somewhat healthy and definetly better tasting and healthy than anything store bought : )

4 easy things to do to make a homemade dessert healthier without compromising taste:

1. buy whole wheat pastry flour at Whole Foods or some other place that sells it and replace half the white flour with the whole wheat.  I've found that regular whole wheat flour is OK, but the pastry whole wheat is lighter and makes a better cookie, brownie or cake.
2. replace half the butter in the recipe with extra-virgin coconut oil.  You really can't taste the coconut flavor and it's much healthier.  Do a google search on coconut oil and you'll see all the benefits, but I especially like that it's supposed to increase metabolism.
3.  use the darkest chocolate that your kids will tolerate.  I never cook with milk chocolate (unless it's Nana Pie or "Having a Bad Day Pie" :)
4.  use about 1/4 less sugar than the recipe calls for.  Really, you can't tell the deference.  I just "eye ball" it and use less sugar in everything I cook.

And remember that a healthy dessert, even if you don't tweak the recipe, is always more healthy than something store bought that has all the chemicals and no telling what else in it.  Happy Cooking!

My Precious Ellie Daisy (#7) Turns 6!

Here she is the day before her birthday at Home Depot with her daddy picking out floweres to plant!  She is such a sweet heart and I am so blessed to have her.  She is a cuddle bunny and so helpful to me.  She is one of my quieter children and loves do school and read already.  The other day we found her older sister's camera with some strange pictures on it.  She had taken the camera and done her own photo shoot.  It is rather funny and creative so I thought I would share it : )

The Ukulele

The teddy bear wearing Anna's glasses.

Taking a picture of herself in the bathroom mirror.

Serious picture of herself wearing her older sister's glasses!

Happy picture of self in the glasses!

Is this just too funny?!