The Flexibility of Homeschooling

So, what other middle school boys can play chess while eating their boiled eggs and homemade buttermilk biscuits at 8am in the morning with no thought of having to catch the bus?  
My husband saw them intently playing chess together as he was walking out the door to work and commented about how wonderful and flexible homeschooling is.  This is just one advantage.....playing chess with your brother, which I believe is good for their brain and good for sibling bonding, so here are some others.........

1.  Everyday and just about anywhere can be a field trip, IE learning experience.
2.  Sick days or snow days don't mean you don't do any school.
3.  You can take a day off if the weather is beautiful or just do school outside.
4.  You can take a vacation when everyone else is in school and places aren't near as crowded.
5.  You can adjust the pace of learning and the curriculum to suit a child's learning style or weaknesses/strengths.
6.  There is no clothes drama in the morning.
7.  You don't have to say goodbye to them and worry about negative peer pressure or negative teaching.
8.  You can do all the science experiments, art projects, nature walks that your little hearts desire.
9.  Going to the library becomes at least a weekly thing.
10.  You have more time for extracurricular activities.

And the list could go on and on!  Now I know that not everyone is willing or equipped or able to homeschool but if you've ever thought about it, then I would give it a shot.  I love homeschooling my children. Now most of them have gone on to attend a Christian high school in our town.  I don't see any advantage to the children that were at that same Christian school for 8 plus years before I send mine and I see a lot of wasted time and money.  I've realized as I've gotten older how fast our children grow and leave the nest.  I'm so glad that I've gotten to spend so many more hours with them by homeschooling. 

Why It's Almost Easier to Have More Kids

Me and my precious #7.  I can't even imagine life without her.

People ask me just about everyday how I can possibly have 10 kids and still be sane when they can't even handle to 2 or 1 or 3 or whatever they have.  I smile and try to explain that it really does get easier with each child and that I'm not some super woman.  They look a little puzzled or just shake their head and walk off.  Other moms of many seem to understand this phenomenon.  And recently I ran across an article on another blog that just sums it up so nice and in a humorous way. I just had to share. 

Here is the link to the complete article. 
www.ncregister.com/blog/matthew-archbold/why_big_families_might_be_easier

And here is my version:

1. There are many traits learned by children in larger families that actually make parenting them easier, namely patience, humility and work ethic.

2. Balance and other gymnastic type skills. I can maneuver through a room full of small toys in complete darkness with quiet skill.  I can drop a falling glass of milk in mid air.  I can quickly reclaim a small child from falling down stairs, etc. 

3. Praying.  Kids learn early on that they always have someone to pray with, pray for and have pray for them. Prayer is vital in running a large home and with more kids to pray for, you naturally spend more time praying which is definitely a good thing.

4. They learn to take the word "no" without a fit and they learn to say "no." Actually, I think it's good to give a child their daily dose of vitamin N. I heard a parenting expert speak on this once and I think it is so good and so true.  Kids today are so often told yes, OK, sure honey, whatever you want.  That is why our society is filled with selfish, self centered kids.  Also, children in large families are always telling each other no, especially the toddlers around. 

5. Spying.  I love how each of my children can really never get away with anything.  Even the ones out of the house are telling me things about each other.  It's great.  Like the Bible says, "Your sins will find you out!"

6. Friendship.  They always have instant life long friends around to play or just hang-out with.  I don't have to worry about scheduling lots of play dates and then be concerned about the other kids' family, home or life style.  It's great!

7. Love.  My kids are so very loved, not only by their parents, but by each other.  And it's wonderful to have so many "each others."  Like the quote from Cheaper By the Dozen, "There are many times I want to kill you, but I would kill FOR you in an instant."

And one I added.....
8. Entertainment and Help.  Kids make you laugh.  My husband and I are never bored and never lacking for a willing hand to help with whatever is needed at the moment.  I'm so thankful for the joy having a large family brings.

Yes, For The Record, My Kids Do Fight

Lest you think all my children are perfect and that our house is calm and loving all the time, I thought I'd let you all in on a little secret.  My children do fight!  As you can see from the above picture, it happens quite frequently with the youngest two.  And then the picture below of my teenage kids fighting, well arguing in the background. I think the picture is so funny, mostly because it was just accidentally caught on camera.

I've noticed some things lately about children and squabbles.  When they are young, like between 1 and 3, the fights are usually physical.  Like fighting over a toy, hitting, biting, etc.  Then by the time they are 3 or so, they have learned some self-control and know better (if they have been disciplined properly : ) So, between 3 and 13, the fights become mostly verbal.  I actually think this is even worse.  It's not at all funny or entertaining anymore, but just really sad.  It hurts me to hear children, especially siblings, verbally abusing one another or just being mean and selfish.  We don't take this lightly at our house.  One thing I do, besides punishing, is to have the person who said something mean or unkind first apologize.  Then, I have them say something nice to the other person.  This has to be more then, "you're good at soccer."  It has to be something meaningful.  Usually they both end-up laughing and I feel better about something positive being said.  Anyway, I've noticed that with teenagers though the fighting changes.  It's rarely physical anymore, thank goodness, and usually not so verbal either.  It's more of a snubbing or just ignoring the other person or even trying to avoid each other.  I also notice with my teens that they begin debating more.  Sometimes it's serious and deep, like theological issues, but other times it's something silly that really doesn't warrant an argument at all, like why they went to have coffee with "so and so."  Well, this is something I try not to intervene too much with, but just pray for them and try to point out each of their good points. I also try to get them to do fun things together.  I guess this is something all moms do of older kids.  I know my mom tries to put my siblings and I together and always smooth over everything. So, I have all three fighting stages going on in my house.  I guess it's just human nature and something we all have to work through.  Thank goodness with have the Lord to help us : )

Matthew and Patrick

Patrick taking care of Matthew : )


Now I have 2 toddlers!  My babies are both walking around everywhere so that means I'm chasing them around everywhere!  It's amazing, because the same week that Patrick (now 14 months) began walking nonstop, was the same week that Matthew took off as well.  Matthew had taken steps independently right before his 3rd birthday and was walking if we held one of his hands, but he had still mostly crawled everywhere.  Well now finally, at 3 years and 5 months, he is walking all the time.  Whew, what a relief!  He has small orthotics (kind of like Sure-Steps) but now he is even walking at times with no orthotics or shoes on.  I'm hoping that he will eventually not need the orthotics as his ankle strength grows.  


Matthew has been in a special-ed preschool class since December and is loving it.  He is learning a lot of sign language and also saying more words.  It's a big help to me as well, because I now have more time to devote to homeschooling the other children.  He loves going too.


Patrick is such a joy and of course seems so "advanced" compared to Matthew.  People warned me that this would happen when you have a Down Syndrome or other special needs child and then have a typical child.  The younger, typical child seems like a genius or whiz-kid.  It's crazy how we as parents forget how fast our little ones can learn and how fast they grow-up. 


 God knew that Matthew would need Patrick.  He motivates Matthew already and they are becoming great buddies, ie"partners in crime" : )I know as time goes on, that Matthew will need Patrick more and more and Patrick will care for him and protect him.  I love watching them together!  It's a busy, busy time but I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Age Spacing

The oldest and the youngest....20 years apart.

I've had quite a few people ask me about how far apart my children are spaced.  I think people assume that I have children as close in age as Michelle Duggar or something, but actually my children aren't spaced nearly that close together.  As you can tell from the above picture, I've had 10 children (actually 11 full term pregnancies because I did have a full term stillborn son) in 20 years. So that averages out to about a baby every 2 years, since I've never had any multiples.  So, for those who are curious, here is how they are spaced out. 

Will and Ben, 22 months apart.

Ben and Anna, 21 months apart.

Anna and Christian, 3 1/2 years apart (I had 2 miscarriages between them.)

Christian and Luke, almost 3 years apart (I had my stillborn son in between.)

Luke and Caroline, 21 months apart.

Caroline and Ellie, 20 months apart.

Ellie and MaryKate, 19 months apart.

MaryKate and Matthew, 2 1/2 years apart(one miscarriage in between.)

Matthew and Patrick, 2 years and 3 months apart (one miscarriage in between.)

So, there you have it. I've never had babies less than 19 months apart so when I meet women who have children a year to a year and a half apart, I'm pretty impressed!

My four daughters, spaced over a 12 year time frame.

Twins

My 2 little guys playing in the crib together!

No, I'm not expecting twins, but I do feel like I have twins right now.  And I have greater respect than ever for those who have had mulitples.  My little guys, Patrick who is 11 months and Matthew who is 3 with Down Syndrome, are about on the same level.  Matthew has more reasoning skills and can manuever better, but they are getting in trouble together just like twins.  I can't leave them alone together one bit!  They are getting to be so close though and both of their faces light up when they see each other.  Anyone out there who has had twins, feel free to give me some advice : )

Patrick is still having fun at this point, but Mattie looks confused. 

Patrick had had enough and wants to be held.  He's a real drama boy lately. 

Room Assignments

I love this girl room, big enough for 3.

It's funny, but one of the many things strangers ask me when they find out that I have 10 children is "how many bedrooms do you have in your house?"  Then many times they want to know if everyone HAS to share a bedroom.  Gasp......how could a child be asked to share a bedroom in this day and age, especially in America!!!  Well, yes, most of my children do share a bedroom with a sibling and I actually think it's good for them.  I loved sharing a room with my sister who was 7 years older than me.  I think if we had not shared a room then we wouldn't have been nearly as close, especially given the age difference.  I don't even remember either of us ever complaining about it.  I do make sure that my children have time and space to themselves, even if they are sharing a room.  So, to answer the question many have asked, our house officially has 5 bedrooms.  We also turned the study into a bedroom and at one point we had the bonus room a bedroom too.  So for a while we had 7 bedrooms, but now we currently only have 6 : )
So here is the current line-up........
Master Bedroom
Downstairs bedroom (originally a study) is my older boys' room when they come home from college.
Middle boys' bedroom (13 and 11 years)
Little boys' bedroom (3 and almost 1)
Small girl room (17 year old alone)
Bigger girl room (9, 7 and 5 years)

When both my older boys were home and not yet in college, they each had their own room.  At that point we had made the bonus room a bedroom too.  I do try to give each child their own room when they hit the teenage years, if at all possible.  My current 13 year old hasn't complained yet or begged for his own room, so I'm leaving things as is for now.  I know we are blessed to have a large home for our brood, but we have really been creative in the past with rooms.  I do love the way all my kids love to be with each other, especially in the evening.  I think they would all be so lonely if they had their own rooms!

Things a Babysitter Should NOT Do : )

My 17 year old, i.e. babysitter extraordinaire, with my 3 year old

Over my 21 years of parenting 10 children, I've had quite a few babysitters.....some good and some, well, you know.  Hopefully none of my beloved babysitters of the past are reading this, but some of these things happened quite a long time ago : )I do have my older children babysit but I don't like to burn them out.  I usually give them a choice if they want to make some extra money, unless it's a real short stint that I will be gone, say running to pick a child up from tennis or something.  And yes, some of these things my own children have done while I was gone and I had to chastise them when I returned.  But all these things have actually happened.  So here goes what not to do if you are babysitting and things for us Moms to look out for and maybe even mention in advance to our wonderful sitters: )

1. Don't tell the children stories of what used to scare YOU as a child, especially in the dark right before bed.

2.  Don't let any child or a child's friend on the roof.

3.  Don't make fires at all!

4.  Don't let the pizza guy delivering the pizza into the house, especially past the foyer and for more then 1 minute.

5.  Do not let stray animals or wild animals in the house.

6.  Don't lock yourself out of the house with all the kids with you and no key to get back in.

7.  Don't spend the whole evening on your computer or phone while the house is in complete disarray.

8.  No boyfriends over, period. And really no siblings or friends over unless you ask (yes, I have come home with 6 extra people in my house that the babysitter invited.)

9.  No air soft guns or any guns used while parents are gone.

10.  No leaving all the kids alone while you go borrow an ingredient for cookies from the neighbor.

11.  Don't let the baby "cry it out" especially if you haven't called to tell me he or she is screaming.

So, any crazy babysitter stories from you Moms of many out there?

Percentages

Above is 50% of my children!

One of the great things about having 10 kids is that percentages are so easy.  I've begun to think this way a lot.  Like, "honey, you take 40% of them to the hardware store with  you and I can make dinner here easier with just 60%."  Many times I'll be somewhere and someone will say, "are all these kids yours?"  And I will happily say, "oh, yes."  But under my breath I will say, this is just 70% of them.  20% are at home and 10% are away at college.  I guess I've always been a math person and I love numbers, so I think that is why I think it's so fun.  Of course, splitting the kids 50-50 doesn't necessarily mean an even split or work load.  Anyone with a large brood knows, it's not the number of children, it's the toddler that makes things hard.....right? : )  A toddler is equal to about 3 elementary age children, an infant equal to 2 and a teenager, while more independent, is probably equal to 2.5 due to their "drama" and the major life decisions they are making.  

Well, I know this is a random post, but I thought it was pretty cool and I promise, no more beach pictures for a while : )

Sisters

Since I did a brothers post, I knew I had to do a sisters post too.  Here I am with my 4 daughters!  Who would of ever thought I would have 4 daughters?!  Growing-up I babysat more for boys and they seemed easier for me to handle at the time, so I always said that I wanted all boys.  Well after having 2 boys in less than 2 years, I was so elated to have a little girl.  When she was born I wasn't wearing my contacts or glasses and I didn't believe everyone that said, "It's a girl!"  Anna was my only girl for 8 years.  In fact, she had 5 brothers (counting the little boy I had that was stillborn) before she had a sister.  Anna prayed and prayed for a little sister......actually many times she would tell me that she wanted a teenage sister, but that wasn't going to happen : )  Anyway, when we found out that we were having our fifth boy and that she wasn't going to have a sister, at least not yet, she said "well, was he a cute boy on the sonogram?"  I said "yes."  And she responded, "then I guess it's OK."  Actually, she had dream when I was pregnant with my fourth son that she saw Jesus holding a baby girl and she asked Jesus for the baby.  He told her, not yet.  We always say that she prayed so hard for a sister that she got 3 in a row!  And she is such a wonderful big sister to them.....just like the big teenage sister that she always wanted : )

In this picture with my husband, you can totally see their individual personalities coming out.  Anna trying to pose so nice, but actually she's so crazy and silly most of the time, just like MaryKate, the youngest, is being in this picture.  Those two are a lot alike.  We like to joke that MK is Anna on steroids. Caroline is my little mom and helper and my sporty girl.  Ellie is my quieter, snuggly one who loves ballet and anything really girlie.  I know they all may look alike, but they are all so unique.  God is so creative!

Brothers

All of our relationships in our lives may come to an end, but never our siblings.  Whether we like it or not, they are connected to us from birth until death.  We are raised together, usually from the exact same genetic pool, have the same parents and other relatives, etc.  No matter how different siblings may seem from each other, they are still connected and share so much of life's memories and experiences.  

Well, I love boys and have 6 of them and the brother relationship is crazy sometimes and can be hard for this female mind to comprehend.  

Below is a picture of my 2 littlest guys. This is one of the few pics we have of them alone together.  Mattie has not been interested in holding Patrick and just recently started to be interested in him at all.  I know that they will be incredibly close and basically be raised as twins due to Mattie having Down Syndrome.  God knew that Mattie needed Patrick and that Patrick needed him.  I love how God picks which sibling is next to which in the birth order.

Below are two of my boys that are separated by 5 years and 1 sister.  I wouldn't say they are very close at this point, but they are very much alike.  Both of them are lefties and are big in size.  They are both leaders and this makes them butt heads frequently.  They also are my more physical sons.  They love sports, being outside, wrestling, etc.  It's amazing how they are so similar.  At this point they fight often, but I know they will be super close when they are older.  

These two (didn't get a pic of them together this trip) are separated by 10 years and 3 siblings but are so similar that at times it freaks my husband and I out!  They are both ferocious readers, love school and do well in it, are more quiet and very routine driven.  It's so special to be able to practically raise the same child twice (I'm just kidding but it feels that way sometimes : )

Oh My, The Prom!

My little babies all grown up!

Last weekend my second and third had their school's prom.  Actually, it's called "Protocol" at their Christian school and it's really a neat event.  They present the seniors in a special march and only do old fashion type dances.  They had a live band and the parents go at the beginning to take pictures.  It was so surreal with them getting ready and I was so glad they got to go together.  Ben and Anna are less than 2 years apart in age and have always been close.  So, after nursing Patrick and putting him in the Bjorn carrier, I took pictures of my "not so little guys." : )

Anna and I found her dress at a cool, vintage thrift store on Franklin Street for $15.  And it fit her perfectly!

Thankfully Ron came home early from work to help Ben with his tux.  I didn't know how to "fix" any of it!

This is my favorite shot.  Anna's friend was over getting ready with her and Ben was being so shy taking pictures.  I can't believe how grown-up they are!  It goes by so fast.

#9's Adjustment to #10

My cute little #9 still looks happy, right?

Well, Mattie is not the baby anymore, but I really don't think he has missed a beat.  He's not a Mama's boy at this point in his life, so I think that has made the transition a little smoother for me and him.  He is a real Daddy's boy.  In fact, he loves all men, especially older men.  When we go to the store or wherever, he reaches out and waves to all the men.  He really wants them to hold him and gets kind of sad when some men just ignore him.  He has no stranger anxiety.  Maybe that just comes with the Down Syndrome.  He also has yet to show any jealousy towards the baby.  At first he was very shy, like almost afraid of him, especially when Patrick would cry his newborn cry.  Now he is more interested in him and likes to touch him and give him his pacifier.  Whenever he sees me nursing him, which is just about all the time, Mattie does his little eating sign.  It's so cute!  Overall, I think he is adjusting just fine, but sometimes I'm sad because I don't get to spend as much time with him just playing.  He has had to grow up some and get more independent, which basically means just making messes and getting into trouble.  All the kids have been watching him more and playing outside with him a lot.  I'm so glad I have all of them around and that they are not at school all day, because I need the help. This is the first time that I have had 2 non-walkers.  It's quite a challenge, but hopefully Mattie will be walking soon.  

I've been sleeping a good bit later since Patrick was born.  One morning my husband went in later than usual to get Mattie out of bed and found MK keeping him company and keeping him happy so Mama could sleep.  Ron thought they were so cute together and snapped this pic with his cell phone : )