FIT TO BURST.......book study

This summer a few moms and I did a book study on
the above book, Fit to Burst, by Rachel Jankovic.
It is an awesome book for mothers with young children.
It is a sequel to her first book, Loving the Little Years.
I would highly recommend both books.
I was leading the book study and I looked online for
maybe some study questions to do together as a group and I found none.  So, I  made my own.  I thought maybe
other moms may be doing this book as a study at their
church, with a MOPS group or even just casually with friends.  Here are my questions that I came with for each of the chapters.  I hope they will be helpful to anyone thinking of doing this study in a group.  Here is a little except from the book, just to get you interested : )

"When we do the dishes, when we correct the children, when we mop the floors, when we sort out the clothes and clean out the basement.  When we do all these little things full of gratitude, we are making a difference in the kingdom of God."

There are 18 chapters in the book but they are all pretty short.  The whole book is only 128 pages and a very easy, yet encouraging and challenging read.  I'll post the chapter titles too.

1. The Paradox Perspective

    When and where do you find it the hardest to give and sacrifice?

2. The Unbaked Biscuit

     Do we do things for our children, or others, out of "mommy guilt"?

3. The Mean Boss

     Do you complain to your husband? Are your expectations too high? Are you a mean boss?

4. Panning for Gold

     What do you think is the best way to lay down gold in your children's lives? 

5. Discipleship of the Mundane

     How is this "snapshot" culture affecting our mothering? What bothers you the most, the mundane or the change?

6.  When the Milkshake Runs Low

     When do you feel the most like you are being zapped of energy or "yourself"?

7.  The Time is Now

      Is there something in your life that you want or need to be doing now?

8.  Home Fires

     How do your feel like you are doing communicating your husband's love to your children? How can you better do this?

9.  A Table Served

      How can you make your family meal time better and more memorable?

10. Well Eating

       Is there any way we are too consumed with food or using food to separate us from others?

11. Faith Grows

      Are you worrying over the spiritual state of your children or not taking their faith seriously? 

12. Ungraceful Parenting

      Do you lean towards "all law, no grace" parenting or "all grace, no law" parenting? How can you find the balance?

13. Judgey Pants

      Are we too busy judging ourselves and others to be learned from and learning from the people around us? 

14. Wound Up

       Which of the 3 stresses do you most frequently deal with?

15. A Little Morning Rugby

      When is it the hardest for you to stay "clear and calm"? How can you change this?

16. Popping the Weasel

      Are you able to laugh at your life, your children, their mistakes, etc. and still discipline sin?

17. The Long-Term View

      Do you have a problem keeping the long-term view when you are stuck in the everyday mode?

18. It Ever Shall Be

      Do you struggle with discontent instead of being grateful, particularly in your mothering role? 

      

Staying Calm, aka Keeping Our Cool

Not very calm or cool here.  Can you tell? I had just gotten 10 kids plus myself ready for a family wedding and we were cutting it very close.  You can't be late to a wedding! (Oh, and I wasn't too happy that my husband snapped this picture)

I think staying calm and cool is a really hard thing to do for us moms in the 21st century.  Maybe it's just me and my mom friends, or those of us who can tend to be perfectionists, but I think it's a pretty universal mom problem.  I love how in the first "Cheaper By the Dozen" movie when the mom yells, "Mom's loosing it.  She's going to loose it!"  I feel like this quite a bit.  So, how can we keep our cool in stressful, rushed, annoying and other child situations that just seem to push our buttons.  Well, let me be the first to tell you, that I'm still learning how to keep my calm and cool.  See, I'm not naturally a patient, calm person.  I'm a little on the hyper side and if I've had too much caffeine, then I'm a little on the irritable side.  But here are some tips I've learned over the years that maybe will help during this stressful wonderful, holiday season. 

1.  Don't drink too much caffeine.  It can make you irritable and snappy.

2.  Be aware when your hormones are bottoming out.  Don't make any major decisions on how you "feel" at the moment.  You will probably "feel" different in the morning.  No, you WILL feel different in the morning.  And don't plan too much during those "hormonal" times or even during sickness.

3.  Keep eating and drinking.  This may sound pretty obvious, but us moms forget to feed ourselves sometimes and many times impatience and anger could be diverted by eating a good apple with peanut butter : )

4.  If a child is really getting to your nerves and pushing those "I'm gonna loose it" buttons, remove yourself from his or her presence.  Many times, this means for me to send them to their room.  They may not necessarily be in trouble, but you both need your space.  Then wait at least 10 minutes or so before you make "peace" with them.

5.  Allow extra time to get ready for big stressful events or really anytime that you need to be someplace on time.  Delegate at these times too.  Maybe the only one you have to delegate to is your husband because all your children are still small. That's OK, just make things plain to him.  In a nice way, tell your husband, children, babysitter or whoever, what you need them to do and how they can help.

6.  If you have something to do that requires all of your attention, wait until at least most of your children are out of the house or in bed.  I've found that when I'm doing something important and I can't be interrupted, that when I am interrupted (and of course I will be), I get very irritable and snappy.

7.  Smile. Laugh. Sing a funny song.  Just do something besides yelling, screaming or crying.  And pray, pray, pray : )

So, "How Do You Do It?", I Am Asked

 Me, holding one of my "secrets" : )

I know many of you out there in blog land are asked this question too, especially if you have more than 3 little ones. Lately I've been asked this question quite frequently, from strangers, family, friends.  Of course, my number one answer is God's grace.  But I guess I do have a few other tricks up my sleeve.  You see, I'm really a very normal, typical woman.  I'm not super woman (I think I did a post about that already : ) I'm really nothing special, but I guess my life is a little "out of the ordinary" in this day and time.  And I do enjoy my life, my children and remain relatively sane, joyful and presentable.  So, here's a few little tips..............


1.  Yes, coffee.  I drink about 2 cups in the morning and one cup in the afternoon. I don't use sugar or other sweeteners, just plain ole cream and good strong freshly ground coffee.  Occasionally I replace it with tea, but I like my tea sweet and iced like any good southerner : )  I don't drink coffee during my first trimester  mostly because it grosses me out, but also because it increases miscarriage risks.


2.  Naps.  I think I did a post on this too, but naps are a large family sanity lifesaver!  I like the European way of just about everyone taking an afternoon siesta.  My children actually nap until they are at least 5 years old.  When they are 6 and up, it's considered "reading and rest" time.  All my children know this time of day is non-negotiable and then I can have my "reading and rest" time and many times, I do fall asleep for about 30 min.  It makes the rest of the day go so much better, especially if the mama has been up in the night with little ones.


3.  Vitamins.  I take Rainbow Light brand supplements that I think are the best because they are food based.  I love them and have now taken them for about 12 years.  I know some days I don't eat as well as I should and when a woman is pregnant or nursing for just about 20 years straight, vitamins are key.


4.  Exercise.  I exercise every day but Sunday.  If it's an usually busy week or I'm not feeling well, then I'll take a break.  But exercise is so important for a mama physically and mentally.  My husband even calls it my "happy pill."  I like to rotate cardio days (jogging, walking or biking) with strength days (weights or Pilate's.) 


5.  And really the most important, prayer and reading God's Word.  I strive to make time for Lord every morning.  Just mediating on Him and the Bible gets my day going with my perspectives in order.  


So, these are the 5 that come to mind.  I guess next time someone asks me "how do you do it?"  I'll rattle these off...ha ha

When You're a Mom of Many......

You learn to Take 5 min. showers and actually get ready for the day in less than 15 minutes.


You are always thinking about the next meal..what it will be, when you make it, do you have all the ingredients, etc.


You never have a completely straight house.  It just doesn't happen. As soon as one room looks perfect, a child is in another room messing it up.


Going to the bathroom alone is a luxury....actually, at times, going to the bathroom at all is a luxury : )


You learn to do at least 3 things at the same time.  Like right now, I'm writing this post, nursing the baby, cooking dinner, and talking to my 6 year old.


You rarely get time alone with your husband, but when you do it's great (above is a picture he took of me on our last date.)


You have to always remain flexible and ready for the unexpected.  Even though I'm into schedules, I know that a day rarely goes by where we stay on schedule perfectly and that's OK.


You will get questions from family, friends, strangers, and casual acquaintances about how you do it and why you have so many and if you will be having more and do you know what causes that, etc.  So be prepared!


You have to be quick on the draw, you know "quick at hand" so to speak....to catch a falling pickle jar, quickly change the channel on the TV, grab a child that is about to fall down the stairs, etc.


Be OK with nothing staying new for long or better yet, learn to love hand-me-downs, consignment stores, garage sales, etc.  Yes, you really can afford to have a large family in this day and age!


So, you moms of many, feel free to add to my list!

The Top 5 Things My Mom Did Right

Me and my precious mom this past Mother's Day~

In honor of Mother's Day this past weekend and to steal the idea from my husband's blog (he did a post recently titled "The Top 5 Things My Dad Did Right"), I thought I would write some things that I love about my Mom.....actually things I try to emulate in my own life.  I am blessed to have a wonderful, godly Mom, who really is my biggest fan.  So here are the top 5 things that come to mind when I think about her parenting me:

1. She has always had a smile for me.  She always smiles when she sees me and her eyes shine.  They way she looks at me, I know she loves me.

2.  She is a big encourager and always looks for the positive.  Sometimes this has "gotten on my nerves" but I would much rather have someone be too positive as opposed to too negative.  She always cheers me, and her other children and grandchildren, on.

3.  She pointed us to Jesus.  She still brings up the Lord in just about every conversation, no matter who she is talking to (if you know my mom, then you know this is true : )

4. She gave up her job to stay home with us.  She was always there when we came home from school, many times making us a special snack.  She was involved in many outside social and church activities, but we were always her top priority and we knew that.  She loved telling people she was a homemaker and she said it with pride.

5.  Her and my Dad had a godly marriage where they put Jesus first and showed so much love to each other.  My husband and I have tried to copy their marriage in almost all aspects.

Well, my Mom isn't and wasn't perfect, but she was great and I hope that I can continue her legacy.

This Mother's Day.....me with my 2 big boys : )

Soccer Moms Have Gotten a Bad Rap!

Notice how happy the moms and baby look in this picture?  That's because it was the last games of the season!  The end of the season tournament!  And while it was extremely hot, aka heat index of 105, we were just happy the season was ending and our boys were on the winning team.  You know I've been involved in soccer now for 13 years and I think I've run into 1 soccer mom that was pushy, mean and yelled at her little boy.  But I've run into dozens of great moms that sit through hours of hot or cold or windy or rainy games, which can sometimes be rather boring.  These moms get their kids ready for the games, bring snacks, get them to practice and games on time and keep smiling through it all.  It just makes me realize how awesome moms are, you know?  Also, I've been around many football and tennis moms too, and they are just as great (well, tennis moms aren't quite as social :o) Here are some pics of my little soccer champions at their last games of the season.  I had 3 playing in the league this year, which made things rather hectic at times. Thankfully the soccer field is within walking distance!