Why I Need to Stop Crying at Birthdays.......(not talking about my own)

I'm having a hard time with birthdays lately.  Now I'm not talking about my own.  Getting older for me really isn't that big a deal.  But it seems like everytime I turn around one of my kids is having a birthday! With 10 children, we have at least one birthday just about every month.  And what's up with this growing-up thing?  It happens almost overnight, or so it seems.  My 5th child just passed me in height and I'm wondering when that happened. Shouldn't there have been some trumpet blasting or something to warn me it was coming.  My little guy in the picture above turned 17 this past spring and the picture on the left is how I still see him in my mind most of the time.  My oldest daughter just had her 21st birthday this month.  In talking to other moms, I think we all agree that we feel the same as we did 10 plus years ago but our children change so much.  They grow physically but also their personalities grow and change.   I do love to celebrate birthdays, making the day extra special for my child.  But lately, I've been so sad.  I don't want to feel this way.  I want to rejoice in their growing-up but I miss their little selves. I have such good memories and I dread them growing-up and moving away. My husband handles it much better than me, telling me that this is how it should be.  He always says that if they don't grow-up then they can't be your best friend.  I try to keep a happy face on around the birthday child.  Many times we look at their baby book and talk about their birth.  We also have a tradition of going around the table during our family dinner time and everyone saying what they love about that child the most.  It's always fun and funny until it's my turn.  Then I start to get all mushy as I talk about how much that child means to me and our family.  Everyone says, "Mom stop crying!"  I guess it's just life and as a mom of many I really need to get over it.  If you still just have little ones, don't rush this time.  It will pass so quickly and those little chubby hands will be big man hands all too soon.  Those little hair bows will be in the trash.  The high chair and crib will be put in the attic and your car will actually be clean! And pray for me that I can stop crying at birthdays and just be thankful, happy to have been blessed to raise this precious child. 

Thankfull for Fullness. Full and Fullfilled.

Patrick was a little overwhelmed at the large family Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday and this year I was just about as thankful as a mom could be.  

Thankful for family. Thankful for my country. Thankful for the Lord seeing us through another year. Thankful for the here and now. I was recently asked at our church small group what was the best thing about this past Thanksgiving and what was the worst.  My answer was the same for both.  The worst thing about this Thanksgiving was that it was our first Thanksgiving without all my children home.  I was a little sad about it at first, but I was so thankful for where those two were.  My #1 son left for the army on Nov. 18 on a 5 year contract to do special forces.  He ate army food on his first Thanksgiving away from family.  But this is right where God has him, right where he wants to be and right where he needs to be.  Surprisingly, I didn't even shed a tear.  My #2 son stayed back at college for Thanksgiving to avoid the long drive since he will be coming home anyway in 2 weeks.  He ate dinner at the Dean of his college's house.  We missed them both but life's a constant series of choices.  Choose to look at who's not there at your table or choose to look at who is.  Choose to see the problems and troubles we've all had over the last year, or look at all the blessings. Choose to be thankful that we are all together, no matter how imperfect we may be. 
We had 24 for Thanksgiving dinner.  All of them family and one special friend who is like family.  We also had 2 additional dogs brought by relatives......it was crazy, but crazy fun!  So thankful. So full.  So fulfilled. 

We awoke on Thanksgiving morning to see the first pictures of our soldier on facebook.  He's the one right up front and looks so cute with his new haircut. 

Some of the crowd.  Tired and full after a fun day.

We played Christmas songs with Mommom. 

We played silly games.  And we laughed and laughed.

10 Kids Back in the House

So for almost 2 weeks, I had all my children home again.  Home from their jobs, internships and summer classes and here before they had headed back to college.  I love having them home and the house bursting at the seams again, but I guess I also was used to only having 7 here.  I know, 7 is a lot too but there is a difference, really : )

#1-The house is louder and louder later in the evening.  Many times we had some of their friends over and so the noise escalated. I'm so glad I have a loud fan in my room and the little boys room or getting sleep would of been impossible.

#2-I had to go to the grocery store much more often.  Instead of just twice a week I was going about every other day.  And when we had everyone home for dinner plus one extra person, we had to split into 2 tables on the back porch to eat at the same time.  My table seats 12 comfortably but when you hit 13, it's just kind of crazy.....especially with Matthew throwing food, but that's another story. And everything was always completely eaten up.  No more left-overs!

#3-Cars and trucks were piled in the driveway and on the road in front of the house.  Leaving the driveway was always a big deal.  I started looking for keys to move cars blocking me about 15 minutes before I really needed to leave.  And then when keys were missing......well, let's just say things seem to get a little heated : )

#4-Laundry was always being done and things just seemed to be everywhere.  The house wasn't quite as clean and tidy. But like a friend of me said who is an empty nester, "mess means people are here." : )

#5-The great thing having everyone home is the memories made and the memories talked about.  The love and the craziness is so worth it. Parenting older children is a whole different story than parenting little ones. It's still fun but let me tell you, it is challenging!  With 10, there is always someone to talk to, hug, hang out with, etc.  Never a dull moment!!!

Favorite Parts of My Day

(In no particular order)

#1 Taking my afternoon walk down the street with my little guy.  We love to mosey slowly and look at bugs and worms and flowers, etc.  He loves when cars pass and we stop and wave while he wishes it was Daddy.

#2 My morning quiet time with my wonderful cup of coffee with heavy cream. I love starting my day like this and God knows I NEED to start my day like this.

#3 My afternoon reading and rest time.  The house gets quiet while the kids nap or read, then I go in my room and read for about 30 minutes and close my eyes for about 30 minutes.....my sanity saver.

#4 When my husband comes home from work!  All the kids run to him so excited and he plants a big kiss on my lips : )

#5 Getting my little guys up from their naps.  They are so cute, warm, cuddly and still sleepy.  They love their mama.

#6 Making my little guys their meals on their monkey plates with little dividers.  I love doing this.  They aren't at an age to really complain about what I put on the plate (not that they eat everything) and it's so easy to find food to feed them.

#7 Taking a hot bubble bath at the end of the day.  This doesn't happen every night but boy can a hot bath ease a tired mind and muscles and make your problems seem a whole lot smaller.

#8 The end of my work-out when I know I've done it and I look up to heaven and thank the Lord that I'm healthy and strong and can run 3 miles or do heavy weights.  The endorphins kick in and life is good!

#9 Sitting down at dinner with my big table filled with my family and seeing them laugh while enjoying the food and each other....bliss.

#10 That rare part of the day, usually evening time, when the house is straight, the kitchen clean, the laundry done and all my children are safely home.

A Letter To 16 Year Old Me

Dear Becca,

     You're 16 now, but this year will come and go so very quickly.  Enjoy your youth, don't compare yourself to others and stop over critiquing your appearance.  I know you probably hear things like this all the time, but 30 years from now you will know I was right.  
     Don't ever neglect your time with the Lord. He is your best friend and will be the only one who will always be there for you. Always have time alone to pray and read His word everyday. Don't expect others to always be around or even understand.  In fact, expect to be disappointed with people and then celebrate when you are not.  Even your parents, who are so very wonderful, will not always be there and will not always be perfect.  Enjoy them.  Their time on earth and in your life the way you know it now, is limited.  Cherish your siblings.  Work on building those bonds and work on forgiving.  Be thankful and stop trying to move on to the next stage........college, career, marriage, children, etc.  Be content where you are right now and make the most of every opportunity.
     As far as friends, be the friend that you want to have.  Don't let friendships fade.  People will go in and out of your life, but you will know the ones who are life long friends. Don't judge by outward appearances or first impressions.  You will find that your closest friends will not be those that you would pick out of a crowd.  Don't drop the ball.  Keep in touch with them.  Pray for them, be there for them, love them.  And God will bring that special someone into your life at just the right time.  Don't worry, you will KNOW that he is your soul mate.  He will make you smile like no other.  He will be your best friend, but more than that, he will be your better half.  
     Make the most of the time you have right now.....travel, read, give and hug those around you a lot!  They won't be around forever.  Laugh and enjoy life.  Life is so much more than how you look, who you are hanging out with or how much money you have.  Those things fade so very quickly. 
     God is so very faithful. Life is hard sometimes and really sad, difficult things happen.  But God is writing the story, not us, and He will not disappoint.  I'll leave you with these verses:
"Faithful is He Who is calling you to Himself and utterly trustworthy, and He will also do it (fulfill His call by hallowing and keeping you.) 1 Thessalonians 5:24 Amplified Bible

 "Who can discern his lapses and errors? Clear me from hidden and unconscious faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me! Then shall I be blameless, and I shall be innocent and clear of great transgression.  Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord my firm, impenetrable Rock and my Redeemer."  Psalms 19:12-14 (Amplified Bible)


(A friend asked me to write a letter to her daughter who was turning 16. So in honor of my birthday week, I wrote it to myself : )


      

Books I'm Really Enjoying at the Moment

This book has been such a blessing to me over the past month, I just had to share. And no, I'm not getting any sort of kick back from these promotions :). The book is above is by a homeschooling Mom of 6 and its such a lesson in thankfulness, contentment and finding joy in the ordinary. It has really taught me how to see everything in our lives as a gift from The Lord, who is a loving Father that wants to bless us immeasurably! The book in the picture is the devotional version and has a journaling section. The regular book is awesome too but I'm loving this in my quiet time.

This above book is a life changing nutritional book.  It is chock full of wisdom, insight, recipes and health information.  I would recommend this to any mom who wants to eat more healthy, loose weight or has hormonal issues.  Serene and Pearl truly do give down to earth advice and recipes.  Everything is practical and played out in their own lives and they are both very budget conscious as well.  I have loved this book and feel so much healthier!  It's over 600 pages so that is why it's about $30.  You can purchase it from the Above Rubies website or amazon.

Well, happy reading everyone!  Start off the year with a good book!

10 Things I Can't Live Without

Now that I've gotten your attention, I'll add a disclaimer.  Yes, I could live without the below things, but I would rather not.  As a mom of many, these things are basically invaluable to me in the stage of life I'm in.  Notice, there are no people on this list.  These are things, but I will say that I really couldn't live without my husband, children, mother, friends and extended family.  Well, here are the things I'm currently "in love" with:

1. My crock pot: my life is in super speed lately, and this wonderful little device saves me so much time and stress. It's so nice to put some simple ingredients into it mid-morning or even right after lunch and not have to think about dinner again until around 5:30p and dinner is just about all done. Not to mention smell something cooking all afternoon.  I love that! I'm going to do a crock pot post soon on my favorite easy recipes for slow cookers.

2. Comfortable shoes: As I get older, cheap shoes are a thing of the past.  My feet are still in pretty good shape after going through so many pregnancies and still exercising, but they do hurt easily. I have to wear high quality shoes now with arch support.  I love my New Balance sneakers, my Danskos and my Merrills especially for comfort.

3. Tinted moisturizer:  This invention is wonderful.  It saves time and I love it. It's like two steps in one, a light foundation and a nice moisturizer with SPF.  I will never go back!

4. Coffee....lots of it with cream: this is probably my worst vice at the moment. But coffee is full of antioxidants, right? I love freshly ground beans, especially Peet's brand. We make a pot in the morning and I drink about 2 cups (it's half decaf) and then I have another cup in the afternoon. It's supposed to up your metabolism too!

5. Dark chocolate: I've loved dark chocolate even before it was found to be healthy.  I have a little piece in the afternoon or I make a dessert with my favorite dark chocolate chips, Ghirardelli. We have the extra large bag of these that you get at Sam's or BJ's.

6. My smart phone: I know, this sounds so 21st century, but this little baby is my phone, email device, alarm clock, camera, music, GPS and my laptop. We currently only have one computer in our house, so having this really helps.

7. CD player: This sounds so 90's, but it is a wonderful educational/entertainment device for the kids.  They love to listen to history CD's that I have and Christian story tapes.  It keeps them entertained for hours!  I also am using it more this year for school since we are doing Classical Conversations for our homeschool.

8. Front load washer: My washer goes strong.  I've had it for over 5 years now and it practically goes non-stop. What would we do if we had to wash our clothes by hand?!

9. Baby wipes: I think even when all my children are no longer in diapers, I will still have a stash of these in the house.  I use them all the time...on kids' faces, on clothes, on the carpet, hands,etc.  I have a box in the laundry room, my room, babies' room, and diaper bag.

10. The Bible:  I saved the best and most obvious for last.  Having time each day to read God's Word is so important.  It helps me start my day and end my day. I've been reading the Bible for over 30 years now and it is still fresh, still alive and new to me.  I would be lost without it!

2011 Recap

January:  Moved my Mom to a new place while having major snow for NC.

February: Matthew has abdominal surgery.  Went well, he's such a trooper!

March: John Patrick is born!  I had a great, fast labor and delivery and we are officially a family of 12!

April: Easter with lots of family in town and loving on new baby.

May: Benjamin, our second child, graduates from high school....sniff, sniff.

June: Summer break.....complete with a week long beach trip with 16 people!

July: Anna gets her driver's licence and we get a kitten....Bruce.

August: We start homeschooling using a different method, after 15 years of homeschooling rather eclectically.  We are now a Classical Conversations family.

September:  Benjamin moves to Tennessee and begins college!

October: Trip to mountains and lots of soccer and tennis.

November: Matthew turns 3 and he and my mom ride in the Raleigh Christmas parade on the Down Syndrome float.

December:  Matthew starts special needs preschool and loves it!


Of course, a lot more happened but as my husband said, this is a good synopsis. All in all it was a great year.....God is so good and faithful to us.  We're looking forward to what's in store for 2012!

A Picture of My Life

I saw this picture in a magazine, with the quote underneath it, and I loved it. It's the story of my life.....my life for the past 17 years.  I'm so glad that I saw it and smiled.  I love my life and as I get older and my older children get older, I realize how fast this time goes by.  I'm so thankful that God has given me such an incredible job and that it just "fits" who I am.  I think as we embrace where God has put us, embrace how God has made us, and really "own it" then we are happier and more content.  Days as a Mom with young children, can be daunting, but isn't it great too?  Don't you just identify with her in the picture?  I think the fact that it's set in the 50's or 60's, makes it even more enduring.  We Moms have been doing this thing called mothering for a long time.  And while it may look different at times in the modern world, it is still mothering.  And as the quote says, we do it all.  I could list another 100 job descriptions right along with what was written.  Well, this is me mothering below......enjoying my little guy before he grows up too fast...The School of Making People, with God's help is really fun!

Trash Talkin Summer

I have a confession to make....I have been trash talkin summer.  Summer is my least favorite season and with the 100 plus degree heat, I have been complaining more than usual.  I've been feeling convicted, so I thought I would let y'all know.  But it's so easy to do, you know, even with strangers.  Everyone in the stores, doctors offices, even at the pool is complaining. It's like a common ground.  There hasn't been the usual hurricane or 2 here in NC yet this summer, so everyone is just talking about the heat.  Even when it's not too hot though, I'm not a real summer fan.  I think it's because I grew-up in a very hot, humid climate (south Louisiana)and I just feel like I've had enough.  But you know I started thinking about what I do like about summer and it's mostly the food.....ripe, fresh peaches, all kinds of fresh berries, watermelon, tomatoes from our garden, well you get the picture.  Also, I do love our beach and camp trips and even though I love schedules, I do like to take a break from schooling.  So, I've decided to stop complaining about it.  You know we probably wouldn't appreciate the brisk, cool fall mornings if we didn't have triple digit heat, right? : )

So here is a more happy, MK face....

Our Normal

Hugs are very normal around here : )

You know, I think it's better just to think of extra trials or extra drama or extra silly problems as just "normal."  This way I don't get too upset or stressed.  Our lives are so very full of wonderful things and normally we really are pretty quiet and somewhat boring around here, but at other times "when it rains, it pours!"   Thankfully, God gives us grace and we make it through.

Anyway, our normal for the past week included:

1. moving my mom to a new apartment, complete with extended family in town and tears because we were moving her from where my father had passed away

2. in the midst of this our dryer broke

3. then the dishwasher stopped working correctly

4.  my husband had to go out of town for work for 3 days and nights (which rarely happens)  

5. we found out the my littlest guy will have to have surgery for an abdominal hernia, preferably soon, which means before the baby is born.

All this and I'm in the last month of pregnancy and starting to feel it.  I really want to have a peaceful last month and get things ready for the baby.  I'm starting to "nest" which means I really want to organize and declutter around the house.  But, I've learned not to count on quiet too much as our normal and just enjoy each day as it comes.  I just need to look at the good in each day and keep my heart quiet and at peace-easier said than done : )

When life gets crazy, make cracker toffee!

Our Lives Are So Very Full

Yes, full of comings and goings
full of cooking and shopping
full of laundry and cleaning
full of things breaking
full of conflicts, disciplining, and breaking up fights.

But more importantly, it's full of hugs and kisses
seeing children learn and accomplish their dreams
full of fun, exciting dinners
full of singing and laughing
full of snuggles in a rocking chair
full of good books and great music
full of the good life!

With November being a month of thankfulness, I'm trying to remain thankful and not
get bogged down with all I could complain about it.  This week we had a bug infestation
we had to treat, our less than 2 year old dishwasher broke and was too expensive to repair so we have to buy a new one (we have had to replace dishwashers so very much!  I guess they are not made for a family of 11 :o) and then we discovered signs of mice.  My boys caught one yesterday and we put traps out, but don't they usually come in families? : )

So, I'm going to look at all the good things my life is full of and try to remain extra thankful this month of November.

My little girls making their "we're scared of mice" faces!

Reflections

      This is what my day looks like! 

But this is what my life looks like!

And it's a darn good one!

I saw this done on another mother's blog and I liked it.  I'm trying to keep the big picture and keep the main thing, the main thing.  5 of my kids were in a wreck today, thank the Lord they were all alright.  We have so much to be thankful for!  God is good!