Life is a Novel, with Chapters Always Ending and Starting

It seems that with children and a family, things are always changing.  No stage lasts for long.  Many times I have grieved this, however the other day I realized that one way to look at change, is the closing of a chapter and the starting of a new one.  Life is really like a novel.  I love to read, especially historical fiction.  Looking at my life as a novel, with God being the author has helped me move into the next phase or chapter.  We've had quite a few chapters ending this past year.  My 4th son graduated from high school and started college.  My oldest daughter graduated from college and started working in Tenneesee.  Our precious dog of 12 years passed away.  It's easy as a mom to grieve these times.  To see them as seasons gone forever, but really it's the end of a chapter that God has brilliantly summed-up and the start of a new one.  I'm learning to look with hope to the next chapter, and actually finding it quite exciting.  God's novel for our lives is the ultimate page turner, with plot twists and switch-backs that we would have never planned.  At times, his plans seem awkward, painful and even wrong.  Yet, he weaves his story and we yield to his orchestrations, the purpose for which, we may not understand this side of heaven. Now that my little guy is 5, I've had a lot more time to do things I enjoy, like playing tennis.  I've also been taking an RN refresher course which has been really fun. I'm hoping to be able participate in more medical mission trips in the future.  I know God has great things for all of us.  He is the articulate novelist weaving our stories for His glory.  

So Much To Do, But So Little Time

Sometimes to get more done, we just camp out in the car....

Whether you have lots of littles, lots of big kids, are pregnant or nursing, trying to mother and hold down a job, homeschooling or whatever stage of mothering you are in, I'm sure you feel this way.  "I have so much to do!  So many things on my lists but so few hours in the day!"  Well, I know how you feel and really it doesn't matter how old or young you are or how far you on in your mothering journey, we all feel this way.  I love summer because as a homeschool mom I have more time do to things around the house, relax at the pool, catch up on scrapbooking and play more tennis.  But even with "free time" I seem to fill up the calendar and start getting stressed out all over again. 
Anyway, it seems like so many moms I talk to feel the same way.  Like they just can't catch their breath.  Now this isn't going to be a post about slowing down and smelling the roses (I think I did a post on that already) but a post to share some ways/tips I have learned over the years to get it all done(well, just about all) and yet still be sane. 

1.  Don't waste time.  I mean on the internet or too much Netflix.  We all do it and we get distracted but the best thing to do, I think, is set times that you're going to return emails, shop or research online and then stick to it.  

2.  Tithe the first part of your day to the Lord.  Pray and read the word each morning and watch God multiply your time!  Really, it works.

3. Multitask.....as much as possible.  Return phone calls on long rides in the car, for example.

4. Cut down the errands.  Use amazon prime or instead of going to 4 different stores, go to one that may just about have everything you need......like Target or TJ Maxx.  (my favorite : )

5.  As far as cleaning and laundry, do a little each day.  When you time things like sweeping, or folding a load of clothes it only takes about 5 minutes but if you leave it all to one day and are cleaning the whole house or folding mounds of clothes, it's going to take much longer and seem daunting.  You can even fold or sweep while helping a child with homework. 

6.  Don't try to be supermom.  This means saying "no" to things you're asked to do, even things your children ask.  You can't do it all so don't pretend you can or even try.  Remember "no" is a holy word ( what my husband always tells me.)

7.  Find meals that are fairly simple with minimal ingredients.  I know we all want to be "french chefs" or "healthy moms" but really the healthiest, easiest and most kid friendly meals are the ones with the least number of ingredients and the fewest steps.

8. Simplify your morning routine.  Don't wash your hair everyday, tone down the make-up and try to do 2 or 3 things at once in this area.......like a facial mask, deep condition your hair, and shave your legs all at the same time.

9. Don't spend hours exercising, unless this is a hobby your really enjoy.  20 minutes of intense exercise gets better and faster results than an hour of low intensity. 

10. And don't be afraid to ask other moms to help.  We all can lend a hand, like carpooling places for example.  Or even swapping out child care or tutoring.  We are in this time frazzled world together!

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Like a bad attitude in the grocery store and not so healthy items in the grocery cart.

Many times I have younger moms tell me, "gee, you're so chill about everything."  Now those who know me better know this is not always the case.  I certainly have my moments but I think it's funny how moms I meet in our homeschool group, at church or just around our neighborhood think I'm so relaxed.  One mom told me recently, "You just seem not to get frazzled by small things."  Well, I hope that is true and I think after years of parenting so many children, I've learned to not sweat the small stuff.  By small stuff, I don't mean essentials (see previous post) or things that will have a lasting effect on my life or one of my children's lives.  But here are some things I see moms "sweating over" that just really don't matter in the long run. 

-My child made a B so they won't get in a good college.
-My child didn't make the right soccer team.
-My child didn't get the right part in the play.
-My child doesn't say "please" and "thank you" every single time.
-Or younger moms, "I had to wean my baby before 12 months."
-My child has been so grumpy lately (they're teenagers, it's normal)
- My child ate a non-organic fruit or worse, fast food!
-My child watched a mindless TV show.
-My child wants to wear the same outfit everyday.
-My child says they don't like church...gasp!

Well, you get the picture. 

Sometimes I just want to tell these moms, "Chill out!  You're letting these minor things steal your joy and rob you of this precious, fleeting time with your young children!"
So, let's all take a deep breath and try to see things from God's eternal perspective and not sweat it. 

What I'm Doing This Summer

Anyone that knows me or has followed my blog for the last few years, knows I like summer and I like to get things done in the summer.  As a homeschooling mom, it really is a nice break from the regular teaching routine and from all the usual extra-curricular activites.  I typically make a bucket list of sorts to get done during the summer.  Things like organizing and deep cleaning the house, scrapbooking, exercising more, etc.  But this summer I've decided to chill. To just enjoy the break, enjoy my children and not try to get all the lists checked off.  This past year I had a lovely homeschool mom friend pass away with cancer, another dear friend also get diagnosed with cancer, my oldest son was almost deployed to Iraq and my mother will be turning 80 soon and becoming more frail. All these things have made me ponder life.  I've realized that we aren't guaranteed tomorrow with those we love and we won't have these precious years forever with our children at home. 

So here is my list of what I'm doing this summer:

1.  I'm not setting my alarm unless I really have to. 

2.   I'm taking my kids to the pool when they want to and actually getting in the pool and playing with them.

3.  I'm hiring help so that I can do extra things with my older kids or spend more time with my mom.  

4.  I'll get my older kids to do the organizing and cleaning out, if they need things to do and want extra money.

5.  I'm going tent camping for the first time!  My kids and husband have always wanted me to go with them and now that the baby is 4, I think I can try it!  (I'm sure that I'll have a blog post on how it turns out.)

6.  I'm going to stay in my PJ's longer and spend time reading fun books and play more with my kids.

7.  I'm not going to be so obsessed with the clock or my schedule.

8.  I'm going to hug more, laugh more and say "I love you" more. 

9.  I'm going to go on more dates with my husband, even in the day time. 

10.  I'm just gonna chill!

Why I Shouldn't of Had 10 Kids

I hear just about every day from someone who may be a friend, new acquaintance or a stranger a pretty similar comment.  It goes something like this, "I could NEVER  have 10 kids!" Actually, many times it's, "I could never have 3 or 4 or 5 or whatever!"  Now I'm really right there with these women.  I'm no super mom.  I'm just a regular girl trying to follow the Lord's will. 

Well, I decided to make a list of the reasons why I really shouldn't of had so many kids:

1.  I'm selfish and self-centered.  I basically was raised a spoiled little brat that got whatever I wanted.  

2.  I'm not a natural servant.  I grew up being served not serving.  When I take all those spiritual gifting tests, servanthood is always last on my list.

3.  I spent a lot money, tears and work on my bachelor's degree in nursing, so I should use it and not stay home with babies.

4.  I'm RH negative.  Yes, if I lived 60 years ago I probably wouldn't of been able to have more than 2 healthy children. So I'm thankful for medical science!

5.  I'm not crafty and I can barely sew.

6. I'm not patient, in the least!  Now I have learned some patience (which I think is one reason God gave my so many kids) but ask any of my children whom I've taught to read and they will tell you how patient I am (smirk....please don't ask them.)

7. I don't like my plans being changed or being interrupted. This is a daily occurrence when you have even just one child.

8. I wasn't the best babysitter growing up and I absolutely hated pediatric nursing.

9. I don't like messes or cluttered dirty houses.  This has been a real life changer for me.

10. I like to have "me time" and my husband likes to have "me time with me and no kids."  I think he's looking forward to retirement age. 

But God molds us and changes us.  He knows what we are capable of, even when we don't.  He gives us the grace, strength, patience, etc. when we need it.  Many times not before, because then we would think that we are capable on our own and can do it without Him. Where God calls, He equips and I'm so very thankful for that.  Of course, the world would look at my list and say "no way this lady should have more than 2 kids, let alone 10."  But everyday I look at my precious children and I'm so glad that by God's grace, I didn't listen to the world. 

Mulltitasking Gone Wrong

Never multitask while driving!

We all know that multitasking is good and we as moms do it all the time, like..........
-make dinner, while talking on the phone and teaching spelling.
-referee a fight between 2 children while at the same time counseling your best friend on your cell phone via text.
-return emails during your kids soccer practice.
-nurse a baby and paint your nails at the same time (yes, I have done this and actually you get to where you can nurse a baby and do just about anything!)

Well, you get the picture.
We were made for this, as women, you know. I really think God did design the female species to be able to do 3 things at once so we could manage a household and children.

But sometimes multitasking can really go wrong.  I was convicted recently about this so I'm speaking to myself too.  
Here are some examples, particularly related to our spiritual lives; things that I have done to save time (I am all about efficiency and saving time.)

Listening to my Bible on speaker phone while I'm showering and getting dressed in the morning.

Having my prayer time while jogging/walking in the morning.

My only time of praise/worship happening in the car while driving kids around town.

Wow, what an efficient Christian mom I had become!  I could check 6 things off my mental to-do list in the time it takes me to do 3!

Now, there is nothing wrong with doing the above things, but when they begin to replace our regular Bible reading, quiet time or prayer time then we are headed for trouble.  You know, God doesn't want just part of us.  He doesn't want to be in our "multi-tasking/how fast can I get this done" category.  We really need to spend quiet time alone with Him, just sitting in His presence and mediating on Him and His word, just really worshipping Him with ALL our focus on Him.  I read an article recently in a popular secular magazine that went on and on about meditation being so healthy for people and how healthy, happy, famous, successful people do it everyday, etc, etc.  I thought how the world is searching for peace and sometimes they know better than us Christians the importance of spending time quiet, clearing our minds and focusing on the good things in our lives (the Lord) and cultivating a thankful spirit. 

And while I'm thinking about multitasking with the Lord, I also got convicted about multitasking with our children.  Our children are our most precious gift from the Lord and how many times do we not really listen to them, really watch them, really play with them because we are "multitasking"?

Just because we rationalize what we are doing as multitasking does not make it right.  I pray that we can slow down and focus on what we're doing, have our true quiet time with the Lord and really be in the moment with our children. In fact, my littlest guy wants me to play soccer with him right now and I'm going to do fully.....no multitasking allowed!

FIT TO BURST.......book study

This summer a few moms and I did a book study on
the above book, Fit to Burst, by Rachel Jankovic.
It is an awesome book for mothers with young children.
It is a sequel to her first book, Loving the Little Years.
I would highly recommend both books.
I was leading the book study and I looked online for
maybe some study questions to do together as a group and I found none.  So, I  made my own.  I thought maybe
other moms may be doing this book as a study at their
church, with a MOPS group or even just casually with friends.  Here are my questions that I came with for each of the chapters.  I hope they will be helpful to anyone thinking of doing this study in a group.  Here is a little except from the book, just to get you interested : )

"When we do the dishes, when we correct the children, when we mop the floors, when we sort out the clothes and clean out the basement.  When we do all these little things full of gratitude, we are making a difference in the kingdom of God."

There are 18 chapters in the book but they are all pretty short.  The whole book is only 128 pages and a very easy, yet encouraging and challenging read.  I'll post the chapter titles too.

1. The Paradox Perspective

    When and where do you find it the hardest to give and sacrifice?

2. The Unbaked Biscuit

     Do we do things for our children, or others, out of "mommy guilt"?

3. The Mean Boss

     Do you complain to your husband? Are your expectations too high? Are you a mean boss?

4. Panning for Gold

     What do you think is the best way to lay down gold in your children's lives? 

5. Discipleship of the Mundane

     How is this "snapshot" culture affecting our mothering? What bothers you the most, the mundane or the change?

6.  When the Milkshake Runs Low

     When do you feel the most like you are being zapped of energy or "yourself"?

7.  The Time is Now

      Is there something in your life that you want or need to be doing now?

8.  Home Fires

     How do your feel like you are doing communicating your husband's love to your children? How can you better do this?

9.  A Table Served

      How can you make your family meal time better and more memorable?

10. Well Eating

       Is there any way we are too consumed with food or using food to separate us from others?

11. Faith Grows

      Are you worrying over the spiritual state of your children or not taking their faith seriously? 

12. Ungraceful Parenting

      Do you lean towards "all law, no grace" parenting or "all grace, no law" parenting? How can you find the balance?

13. Judgey Pants

      Are we too busy judging ourselves and others to be learned from and learning from the people around us? 

14. Wound Up

       Which of the 3 stresses do you most frequently deal with?

15. A Little Morning Rugby

      When is it the hardest for you to stay "clear and calm"? How can you change this?

16. Popping the Weasel

      Are you able to laugh at your life, your children, their mistakes, etc. and still discipline sin?

17. The Long-Term View

      Do you have a problem keeping the long-term view when you are stuck in the everyday mode?

18. It Ever Shall Be

      Do you struggle with discontent instead of being grateful, particularly in your mothering role? 

      

You Know You Love Mothering When..........

 It's 9am on a Saturday morning and I'm taking the little guys to a birthday party 30 minutes away.....It's OK, I love mothering!
And speaking of Saturday mornings, as a mother they are no longer sacred.  Most of our Saturday mornings start way earlier than this.  Many a tennis tournament and soccer game has started by 8am and require leaving the house by 7am!  So, you know you really love motherhood when you don't mind this at all, in fact, you actually like it.  Sleeping in is no longer a luxury that you even dream about : )

So, here are some other ways that you can tell you really love mothering. (For those of you who aren't mothers yet, you probably think we are all crazy, but just wait! : )

-Potty training is seen as a challenge and not a yucky, messy thing to get through.  I'm getting ready to potty train my 10th child and actually am looking forward to it. Just bought some cute little boy underwear : ) He's smart, he's ready and I'm up for the challenge!

-When you actually enjoy making eggs for your big teenage boys at 6:30 in the morning.

-When you look forward every year to shopping for fall/spring clothes and switching out the kids wardrobes.

- You'd rather stay home, bake cookies and read books with your little ones then go to a movie and eat popcorn.

- You really don't mind getting woken up in the middle of the night by a little one because you know they grow-up way too fast.

- Pregnancy and breast feeding are looked at as a privilege and not a burden.

- You actually enjoy all the soccer games, football games, tennis matches, dance recitals, swim meets, etc. because you get to see your child in action and cheer them on.

- You don't mind the messy house because you know that all too soon it will be clean and straight and actually stay that way because no one will be there!

Well, this is about all I can think of right now.  Feel free to add to the list.  But really, motherhood changes your perspective on a whole lot of things!

Here is me and my biggest baby (not oldest, but the biggest).....love him so much.  Wasn't he just a little blond toddler that loved to walk around with bowls on his head and call them hats? 

A Me Week

This week was very unusual for me.  It was a "me" week, at least that's what I called it to my husband.  Now I still was home, homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, etc. but I actually did things this week for myself that desperately needed doing : )

First of all I got to spend the weekend with my sister, who was visiting.  We hadn't had time together like that for over a year!

I went to the dentist for a check-up for the first time in over 6 years!

I went to the Nurse Practitioner for a check-up....first time in 2 years!

Got my hair done, first time in.....well, we won't go there (I have my hair done pretty frequently : )

Had a wonderful fancy date with my husband!  First time in over a month.


As moms, we many times forget to take care of ourselves.  We are so busy taking care of our little ones and making sure they have regular check-ups and get to do fun things all the time, but we neglect ourselves.  I know there are many secular articles out there about "me" time and how we all need a "break" from our children.  I love to be with my kids, but I do know that I need to take care of myself so that I can be healthy, sane, strong and able to be a good mother. As you can tell from the above list, most of the things I did were pretty over due.  I daily make time to exercise, read and have a quiet time by myself.  I weekly hire a sitter to have an afternoon to myself, which usually involves grocery shopping, exercising and checking in on my mother.  I just want to encourage all of you out there not to neglect yourself, as I know I've done at times.....I'm talking to myself too : )

My Favorite Child

And I'm my mom's favorite child too

So, yes, I will admit it.....I do have a favorite child.
Well, actually I have 10 of them : ) And here is why.....

Will-he's my first, my "guinea pig child", poor thing.  He's quiet, was an easy child, well at least till the teenage years : ) He's got such potential and does everything he tries well.  I love him so much, he's my favorite.

Ben-he's so fun.  He loves to talk to me and we get along great.  He's big, strong and does everything with a passion.  He's a stabilizing factor in the family.  I love him so much, he's my favorite.

Anna- my first girl, my best friend, a joy to be around.  Everyone falls in love with her so of course I love her bunches and bunches and she's my favorite.

Christian-leadership skills galore but yet a team player, makes this son my favorite.  He loves the things I love, like cooking and tennis but yet is a strong hunter and outdoors guy.  He'll be a governor one day, so of course he's my favorite.

Luke-my giver of light, my healing baby and just the sweetest easiest boy.  He rarely complains and always help without a second thought.  What would I do without him?  Yes, he's got to be my favorite.

Caroline-my little mini-me.  So talented, so beautiful and has such a nice easy going spirit.  We're kindred spirits and I love her so.  She must be my favorite.

Ellie-my sweet, quiet-spirit, gorgeous girl.  She's so unique and was born with a special calling on her life.  She's always helping me and loves to be with me.  The cuddle bunny of the family.  Love her so and she's my favorite. 

MaryKate-my little girl that I almost lost.  My one child that is always so full of energy and spunk or she's asleep.  She's bold, probably my boldest, and makes everything fun.  She's my favorite for sure.

Matthew-my "special" child who was born with a little something extra.  My child that will always be my baby and will always need me.  His face lights up when he sees me and as he says "mama" in his so sweet way, I know that he really is my favorite.

Patrick-my baby, my joy, my lovey who I could never imagine life without.  He has gifts emerging already and is a charmer, leader and people person at a young age.  Yes, he is the favorite.

You know, this is how God feels about each of us. We are his favorites.  I never understood how this could be until I had a bunch of kids.  I know you moms of many understand, but lets all remember that this is how Father God feels about us.  We are his joy, his love and his favorites!

Today Marks 22 Years of Parenting

22 years!  Wow, it sure does speed by!  It seems like we were just bringing this little 6lb. 2oz. baby boy home to our little rent house in south Louisiana.  He was a great baby and an easy child.  I tease him that it's because he was so wonderful we had so many after him : )
I had tears in my eyes this morning as I realized how much I have enjoyed parenting him and just being a mother in general.  I wanted to encourage all you young moms out there, that it is so very worth it!  Nothing can fulfill us women like mothering and no place are we more content, valued and needed than in our homes.  I'm so glad God chose to trust me with this precious child and all the others He has graciously given us.  Don't give-up young moms!  Don't stop praying and seeking the Lord in how you are to parent.  Don't take one minute for granted.  Don't be discontent raising children and desire to be out of the home working in a career, or even working in ministry or volunteer work, or doing fun things like pursuing hobbies.  Each year speeds by and each memory is so very special.  Love on your babies today. Kiss your toddlers. Have fun with your older children and let them know how special and important they are.  Nothing compares to motherhood!

Staying Calm, aka Keeping Our Cool

Not very calm or cool here.  Can you tell? I had just gotten 10 kids plus myself ready for a family wedding and we were cutting it very close.  You can't be late to a wedding! (Oh, and I wasn't too happy that my husband snapped this picture)

I think staying calm and cool is a really hard thing to do for us moms in the 21st century.  Maybe it's just me and my mom friends, or those of us who can tend to be perfectionists, but I think it's a pretty universal mom problem.  I love how in the first "Cheaper By the Dozen" movie when the mom yells, "Mom's loosing it.  She's going to loose it!"  I feel like this quite a bit.  So, how can we keep our cool in stressful, rushed, annoying and other child situations that just seem to push our buttons.  Well, let me be the first to tell you, that I'm still learning how to keep my calm and cool.  See, I'm not naturally a patient, calm person.  I'm a little on the hyper side and if I've had too much caffeine, then I'm a little on the irritable side.  But here are some tips I've learned over the years that maybe will help during this stressful wonderful, holiday season. 

1.  Don't drink too much caffeine.  It can make you irritable and snappy.

2.  Be aware when your hormones are bottoming out.  Don't make any major decisions on how you "feel" at the moment.  You will probably "feel" different in the morning.  No, you WILL feel different in the morning.  And don't plan too much during those "hormonal" times or even during sickness.

3.  Keep eating and drinking.  This may sound pretty obvious, but us moms forget to feed ourselves sometimes and many times impatience and anger could be diverted by eating a good apple with peanut butter : )

4.  If a child is really getting to your nerves and pushing those "I'm gonna loose it" buttons, remove yourself from his or her presence.  Many times, this means for me to send them to their room.  They may not necessarily be in trouble, but you both need your space.  Then wait at least 10 minutes or so before you make "peace" with them.

5.  Allow extra time to get ready for big stressful events or really anytime that you need to be someplace on time.  Delegate at these times too.  Maybe the only one you have to delegate to is your husband because all your children are still small. That's OK, just make things plain to him.  In a nice way, tell your husband, children, babysitter or whoever, what you need them to do and how they can help.

6.  If you have something to do that requires all of your attention, wait until at least most of your children are out of the house or in bed.  I've found that when I'm doing something important and I can't be interrupted, that when I am interrupted (and of course I will be), I get very irritable and snappy.

7.  Smile. Laugh. Sing a funny song.  Just do something besides yelling, screaming or crying.  And pray, pray, pray : )

Pacing Yourself

Just like you gotta pace yourself on a long bike ride with little ones........don't go too hard or fast, don't forget about stopping to enjoy the scenery and take a water break......same goes for mothering : )

"Pace yourself".....I've said this numerous times to myself over my years while parenting.  I think it's helped me not burn-out but instead helped me enjoy life and enjoy parenting.  I was thinking about this when I was folding clothes the other evening.  Laundry is one example of pacing yourself; meaning do a little each day and it will never become a big deal. Pacing yourself means not trying to do everything all at once and be "super mom" but on the other hand not neglecting things until they get huge and what appears insurmountable.

  Here are some other examples:

Cleaning.....do a little each day and it won't ever overwhelm you.  We do our best to do a deep cleaning on most Saturdays.  Same for goes for straightening up.  Have a few set times each day and that you do a quick pick-up.  For us, it's before starting school in the morning, before rest/reading time, before Dad comes home and before bed. Make a game out of it, even put on some fun music.

Schooling......don't try to do to do it all, especially your first year of homeschooling.  And especially if your children are K or younger.  You will have plenty of time to teach them to read (do they really need to be reading when they are four anyway?) and plenty of opportunities to teach math (think real life examples) and plenty of years to do all those crafts and field trips.  I know so many moms that have exhausted themselves and turned "school" into something their children dread by trying to do too much too soon......pace yourself.  You have so many years ahead.  

Eating/dieting.......don't cut out "everything" in an attempt to lose weight or get healthier.  I have so many friends that drop all dairy, plus wheat, plus meat and then are back on their old diet faster than you can say "chocolate chip cookies."  Or they go on a "juice fast" and drop some pounds but then rebound and gain even more once they go back to eating normal.  Pace yourself, drop one bad food a week.  Concentrate on eating the really healthy, whole foods and you won't have the time or appetite for junk food.  

Same goes for exercising.....don't wait and work out one day-a-week, killing yourself doing a 2 hour gym work out or running 5 miles.  Plan (put it on your calendar, tell your husband, get a sitter if need be, etc.) to do some exercising 6 days a week and then if you only get to do 4 days, you're still good : )

Training the children......work on one character quality a month, or concentrate on learning a Bible verse that may pertain to an area where you and the kids are having a hard time.  Don't try to "fix" every one's flaws or weaknesses at once.  

Planning activities......I've realized that we can handle only about one extra activity a week.  This includes things like play dates,  a mom lunch, a field trip, etc.  For me, that's just really all I can handle in my schedule right now with the number of children I have and all the school things, extracurricular and church things we have going on.  Find the number that is good for you, and stick to it.  It will make your weeks so much better, calmer and enjoyable.  

Well, that's all that comes to mind, but you get the gist.  Really, I tell myself a good bit, "pace yourself!"

Note to Self.....Don't Try "_" Again!

The thought came to me this week, "note to self, don't try that again!"  I thought it might make a good blog post to list somethings in my 21 years of parenting a large brood that I've tried and that just haven't worked for me. This doesn't mean that these things may not work for you or that these things are necessarily bad, but they didn't turn out for me the way I wanted.  So, here goes.........

Don't feed the messy meals at breakfast or lunch, instead save them for dinner so you put those little guys right into the bath!

1.  Don't sign up the kids for too many extracurricular activities.  Believe me, you will regret it when you are all running around all the time like crazy and the child ends up not liking anything he or she is doing.

2.  Don't get a puppy when you have a newborn or even towards the end of a pregnancy.  It seems like it would be easy and the other children say they will handle everything that concerns the little puppy, but believe me, you as the mom will be doing double the work....I promise.

3.  The family bed.  I love my children, and I do let newborns sleep with me if they are still up nursing a lot.  But I like my babies to like their beds and all of my babies have slept better in their own little crib. If my babies smell me, then they want to nurse.  It's just instinct, but they may not really be hungry. The marriage bed is very important for a strong marriage.  Most husbands I know agree with me : )  Just remember if you do try this, that  your husband is your first love and you both need time away from your precious little one.

4.  Homeschooling year round.  I know many families that do this, but for me it totally back fired.  I can do a little bit of school in the summer, but we all need a break.  My kids get so excited in the fall to start school and are always eager to get going with their new school things.  When we tried to keep it up all summer, we completely lost this excitement and we all started up school for the year a little burnt out. 

5.  Don't try to drive more than 10 hours in a day with little ones.  It's just not worth it to me. And don't try the "load the kids up at 10pm and drive through the night thingy."  It is never worth it to me either.  The next day you are both exhausted and grumpy and the kids didn't really sleep well either and are so out of sorts. 

6.  Don't ever force a child to attend a certain school.  I tried this with a preschool once.....disaster! I also did this for a few years with a highschooler and he was just miserable.  I know sometimes you may have to put your kids in school or in a certain school they do not want to attend, but unless it is something you HAVE to do, don't. 

Well, these are the first major things that come to my mind, but I'm sure there are more that I've done but will not try again, unless I have a memory lapse : )

Things People Say

Just about everyday I get a somewhat funny comment or response when someone finds out that I have 10 children. It might be the repair guy or even actually another mom.  It really is rather fun to see people's reactions, but sometimes it can be a little embarrassing.  Anyway, below are some things that people have actually said to me in the last 6 months and I promise, none of these are made up : )


"You birthed 10 children?!" (this was said really loudly by a cashier at Sam's and then everyone in ear shot turned to stare at me)


"I didn't think it was even possible to have 10 children!"(this was from a young mom of 3, and she was serious)


"Did they all come out of you?" 


"So, do you run a daycare or babysit for a living?"


"How many kids do you have?  No, how many do YOU have? No, how many are really yours?" (the taxi driver kept asking me the same question, just a different way over and over again : )


"I've never met someone who had 10 children, can I shake your hand."


"Are y'all a blended family?"


"Are they all with the same father?" (that one was really strange : )


"You must of had a bunch of multiples!"  well, no.


And then there is the usual, which probably all of us have heard who have over 3 children. You know like......


"So don't you know what causes that?"


"Do you not have a TV or something?"


"Boy, you must really have your hands full!"


"So, are you like the Duggars or something?"


"Well, are you planning on having anymore?" (crazy how total strangers could ask about your family planning/fertility.  I've actually thought of giving a detailed answer and see their face : )


So, I would love to hear some of the things people have said to you moms of many out there!

Just A "Mom-Day" (what I like best)

Earlier this week, I had a perfect "mom-day."  You know, those days when you don't have to do anything major.  There is no outside appointments, no unexpected drama, no event to get ready for or clean for, no sickness and just a good ole boring day.  Yes, this mom likes boring.  As I get older, I cherish the days when I am just home with my little ones.  Actually, I like to be home with them more and more.  It's my "queendom" as I heard one older mom say one time.  Anyway, I've posted our homeschool schedule in the past and my kids' schedules but I thought I would let y'all take a look at just a regular day for this Mama of 10.......a perfect day to me.  And really, it was pretty much the same when I had 3, 5, or 7 kids :)

6:30  wake-up, make coffee, read Bible and pray
7:30  start breakfast and dressing kids
8:30  do about a half hour of Pilate's
9:00  shower and put Patrick down for morning nap
9:30  reading time with all my kids, get school started
10:15  tea break and check emails
12pm  wrap up school time
12:30  lunch and clean-up
1:00  fold laundry and clip coupons
1:30  head to grocery store with 3 kids to do big shopping
3:00 pick-up Anna from school
3:30 go visit my mom
4:00 put up groceries and feed kids snack
4:30 blog and check email and return phone calls
5:00 start dinner, play with little boys
6:00 husband home!
6:20 dinner and family time
7:00 clean-up and more laundry
7:30 make dessert with little girls
8:00 kids reading time with Dad while I put Patrick down
8:30 kids to bed
9:00 watch news with hubby.....sleep

Some New Year's Resolutions

1.  Jump on the trampoline more....no seriously, play with my kids more.  Instead of always being involved in the one of the many tasks at hand, make time to be silly with them, play games with them, and yes, jump on the trampoline.


2.  Show more love and respect to my husband.  I know as I do this more, then my children will also do this more to him and to me.


3.  Eat more organic.  We've been eating just about all our produce organic for the past year and most of our meat and dairy, but this year I want to try to do just about all organic, but without upping my grocery budget.  Not sure how do to this yet, but if anyone has any ideas, let me know.


4.  Read through the Bible this year.  I haven't done this in awhile.  It takes reading 3 chapters a day, but I really want to do this again.  I'm looking for a good plan online.


5.  Start up "date night" with my kids again.  I mentioned this is my post last month on finding time to spend with each child.  We used to do this when we had 7-8 kids and really need to start this up again.  I think I'll put one night on the calendar for my husband to take one child out a month and then one night for me.  I need to get this organized and on the calendar soon!


Well, this is about all I can think of right now (at least all I can post publicly :)  Hope everyone had a great New Year's and is ready to jump into 2012!

A Baby at 23, 33 and 43....What's the Difference?

I was recently reading a "popular" magazine while getting my hair cut and was reading about a "popular" actress having a baby.  She was saying how she was so glad that she had waited to have a baby at the age of 33, instead of in her 20's.  I started to think about the differences between having babies in your 20's, 30's and 40's.  I've had 3 children in my 20's, 5 in my 30's and 2 in my 40's.  So what is the big difference? Is it better to wait to have children?  Or is it better to have children young to avoid age-related complications or infertility?  Or is it better to just trust God with the whole thing?  
As you can tell, I believe in trusting God and knowing that it's better  just to cooperate with how God created our bodies.  But there are differences.  Here are some of things that came to mind......


Advantages in your 20's:
-it's easier to get pregnant
-it's easier to bounce back into shape
-your young and energetic


Advantages in your 30's:
-it's the "status-quo" age to have babies, so you fit into the motherhood crowd easily
-you have some experience under your belt 
-your relationships are usually pretty secure at this point as well as your financial state


Advantages in your 40's:
-they keep you young : )
-you really appreciate being pregnant and of course the baby......not taking it for granted
-you cherish each moment and really know what you're doing by now


Of course, I think that each decade is great to have a child. God knew who should be born when... I had Will at 23, Luke at 33 and Patrick at 43 and I wouldn't trade having any of them for the world!
So, do you think there is one age that's better to have children than another?

A Picture of My Life

I saw this picture in a magazine, with the quote underneath it, and I loved it. It's the story of my life.....my life for the past 17 years.  I'm so glad that I saw it and smiled.  I love my life and as I get older and my older children get older, I realize how fast this time goes by.  I'm so thankful that God has given me such an incredible job and that it just "fits" who I am.  I think as we embrace where God has put us, embrace how God has made us, and really "own it" then we are happier and more content.  Days as a Mom with young children, can be daunting, but isn't it great too?  Don't you just identify with her in the picture?  I think the fact that it's set in the 50's or 60's, makes it even more enduring.  We Moms have been doing this thing called mothering for a long time.  And while it may look different at times in the modern world, it is still mothering.  And as the quote says, we do it all.  I could list another 100 job descriptions right along with what was written.  Well, this is me mothering below......enjoying my little guy before he grows up too fast...The School of Making People, with God's help is really fun!

The Top 5 Things My Mom Did Right

Me and my precious mom this past Mother's Day~

In honor of Mother's Day this past weekend and to steal the idea from my husband's blog (he did a post recently titled "The Top 5 Things My Dad Did Right"), I thought I would write some things that I love about my Mom.....actually things I try to emulate in my own life.  I am blessed to have a wonderful, godly Mom, who really is my biggest fan.  So here are the top 5 things that come to mind when I think about her parenting me:

1. She has always had a smile for me.  She always smiles when she sees me and her eyes shine.  They way she looks at me, I know she loves me.

2.  She is a big encourager and always looks for the positive.  Sometimes this has "gotten on my nerves" but I would much rather have someone be too positive as opposed to too negative.  She always cheers me, and her other children and grandchildren, on.

3.  She pointed us to Jesus.  She still brings up the Lord in just about every conversation, no matter who she is talking to (if you know my mom, then you know this is true : )

4. She gave up her job to stay home with us.  She was always there when we came home from school, many times making us a special snack.  She was involved in many outside social and church activities, but we were always her top priority and we knew that.  She loved telling people she was a homemaker and she said it with pride.

5.  Her and my Dad had a godly marriage where they put Jesus first and showed so much love to each other.  My husband and I have tried to copy their marriage in almost all aspects.

Well, my Mom isn't and wasn't perfect, but she was great and I hope that I can continue her legacy.

This Mother's Day.....me with my 2 big boys : )