10 Things That "Experts" Won't Tell You About Pregnancy

About 39 weeks with baby #10.

I'm doing this post in response to a post done by The Huffington Post called "15 Things That Experts Won't Tell You About Childbirth." 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/27/childbirth-facts-you-dont-hear-from-experts_n_3989129.html
Above is the link if you'd care to read it.  
That post went pretty viral around social media, especially in the young 20's crowd.  While most of it is pretty accurate, it does seem to paint a somewhat gruesome picture of childbirth to those women who've never had a baby.  Part of me wanted to discuss each point (the RN part of me and also the "natural" mom of 11 childbirths part of me) but I thought I would just do my own list.  
So, I'm not sure who these "experts" are supposed to be, but here are some things that most people don't know about pregnancy.......the good, the bad, the easy and the hard.

1.  You can have a few negative pregnancy tests and still be pregnant.  Wait until your a day late at least to test....I mean, really : )

2. Morning sickness is not just in the morning, in fact I think mine was worse in the afternoon and don't do the crackers thing.  Protein is what helps, not simple carbs.

3. And the above queasiness does not magically leave at month 3....in fact, mine hung around until about week 16. It seemed like I had a good day, then a bad day and then the good days started to out number the bad days.

4. With your first pregnancy, you will probably not show till about 20 weeks, even though you may feel bloated.  With subsequent pregnancies you will begin to show the day you get a positive pregnancy test!

5. Yes, you do need maternity clothes, but maybe not as many or as soon as some people think.  Forget though trying to get by just wearing baggy clothes or your husband's shirts.

6. You will not necessarily get stretch marks.  It really just depends on your skin.  I have had 11 full term babies and I have no stretch marks.  I am an avid lotion user though.

7. Having a baby does not make you fat.  You make get a little pouch or some stretched skin, but really I know many women who are over-weight and have had no babies.  Plus I have 3 friends who have had 7 babies each and they are all tiny.  Seriously, like a size 2!

8. Breastfeeding is not that difficult but takes some practice, patience and being open to feeding the baby whenever he or she wants, at least in the beginning.  

9. Childbirth is your birth of your baby!  Not your midwife's or doctor's or Douala's or the RN at the hospital, or who ever.  Just remember that you are in charge no matter where you have your baby.  Do your research and trust your instinct.  Don't let them boss you around. 

10. God gives us women childbirth and pregnancy amnesia and you really forget all the horrible because it is so worth it when you hold that precious newborn baby!

A Baby at 23, 33 and 43....What's the Difference?

I was recently reading a "popular" magazine while getting my hair cut and was reading about a "popular" actress having a baby.  She was saying how she was so glad that she had waited to have a baby at the age of 33, instead of in her 20's.  I started to think about the differences between having babies in your 20's, 30's and 40's.  I've had 3 children in my 20's, 5 in my 30's and 2 in my 40's.  So what is the big difference? Is it better to wait to have children?  Or is it better to have children young to avoid age-related complications or infertility?  Or is it better to just trust God with the whole thing?  
As you can tell, I believe in trusting God and knowing that it's better  just to cooperate with how God created our bodies.  But there are differences.  Here are some of things that came to mind......


Advantages in your 20's:
-it's easier to get pregnant
-it's easier to bounce back into shape
-your young and energetic


Advantages in your 30's:
-it's the "status-quo" age to have babies, so you fit into the motherhood crowd easily
-you have some experience under your belt 
-your relationships are usually pretty secure at this point as well as your financial state


Advantages in your 40's:
-they keep you young : )
-you really appreciate being pregnant and of course the baby......not taking it for granted
-you cherish each moment and really know what you're doing by now


Of course, I think that each decade is great to have a child. God knew who should be born when... I had Will at 23, Luke at 33 and Patrick at 43 and I wouldn't trade having any of them for the world!
So, do you think there is one age that's better to have children than another?

3 Babies, 2 Miscarriages, Then Christian

 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of Him." 1 Samuel 1:27

This week we celebrate our fourth child, Christian, turning 13.  I can't believe it! The above verse is the one the Lord really laid heavy on my heart when we were strongly desiring another child. See, we had had 3 children right in a row with no problems.  Actually, it was 3 in 3 1/2 years.  Then I got pregnant on the same time table as before with a fourth baby.  I was so surprised, and disappointed, to have an early miscarriage.  There were complications with that miscarriage and I was told not to conceive for at least another year due to a high cancer risk.  We complied and then about a year later concieved again.  I was so excited to be having a fourth!  But it was not to be, again I had an early miscarriage.  My sister had had 3 children herself and then a series of miscarriages and never had a full-term child again. So I really began to think that maybe this was it for us.  I knew I wanted more children, if the Lord willed, and was not ready to give up at this point.  Thankfully I concieved again a few months later and we got Christian!  I am so glad that I did not give up or stop having children just to avoid miscarriages (like some well meaning friends and family recommended.)  I would not have Christian or the wonderful 6 other children after him if I had listened to them.  I just want to encourage any women out there who have had a series of miscarriages not to give up hope.  God is in control, not us. We never know why He allows these things to happen to us, but one day we will.  Many times our bodies are going through things we don't even know about and it may be just a season for us.  I've had 2 more miscarriages since then, but never 2 in row again. 

It's always bitter sweet when one of our sons turns 13, especially hard to a mama.  I had such a hard time when my first turned 13.  It seems they change so much at this age.  It's like, "where has my little boy gone!"  Oh Christian, don't change too much or grow-up too fast.  You are so special to us and God has given you so many talents!

Even though he is a middle child, he is big brother to 6 younger ones.  He is so close to Matthew, his younger brother with Down Syndrome.  He is an awesome hero for him!

Still Waiting......

Thanks so much for all the "getting labor started" tips.  They are great and I must admit some are rather funny.  I've done just about all of them at this point : )  I did see my MD yesterday and he said that I'm 3 cm. dilated, 70% effaced and -1 station.  So, yay!  Something is working and I'm further along going into this labor than I have been with the last 3 births. He actually did a stretch and sweep of my membranes too.  Last night I ate almost a whole pineapple (of course, I had to share with my little kidos : ) I'm going to walk the mall this morning.  The plan is to be induced (no pitocin, just rupture membranes) on Tues. if I don't go into labor this weekend.  Oh, and supposedly the gelato shop has this grapefruit gelato that is supposed to trigger labor.  I think I'll just have to go there tonight......any excuse to eat gelato.  Thanks for all the prayers and support.  Hopefully, I'll be holding little baby boy soon!

Getting Labor Started

OK, it's that time......I'm basically ready to try anything to get labor going naturally.  My doctor will let me go to my due date and no longer before inducing.  This is primarily due to complications I had with #8 going over due, so I'm not arguing too much with him.  Anyway, I'm walking about 2 miles everyday, trying to stay as active as possible, drinking lots of red raspberry tea and eating spicy foods.  So far, nothing is helping too much.  Tomorrow is grocery store day, so I'm going to load up on eggplant, mango and pineapple.......all, I've been told, can trigger labor.  Please, let me know if you have some secret to getting labor going.  Oh, I did try castor oil with my fourth and it did nothing but send me to the bathroom way too much, so I'm not trying that again.  I have been using red raspberry leaf tea since baby #5 and I feel that it mostly just gets my uterus in shape and I hardly bleed afterwards.  I've been drinking a cup a day but am uping it now to 2 cups a day (that's about all I can manage.)  Well, I'll keep y'all posted!

Delivery History

Seeing MK for the first time.....my only c-section

I was thinking lately over my previous births as I prepare physically and mentally to deliver yet again.  I thought I would write a very brief synopsis of each of my births.
Btw, I love natural childbirth and highly recommend "The Bradley Method."  I do also love my hospital births.  I guess being an RN, I'm comfortable in the hospital and like the comfort of knowing if anything goes wrong that I am right there with all the modern medical advancements : )  I also try to remember that a live, healthy baby is the goal and sometimes births don't go as we planned, but it's alright.  Very few things in life do, right?  God is in control and He is good!  Anyway, here goes.............

Will:  water broke spontaneously at 39 weeks.  No labor started after 12 plus hours, so I was started on pitocin.  He was born 6 hours after that, with no other drugs.  He was small, 6lbs. 2oz. and a great first birth.

Ben:  went into labor spontaneously at 38 weeks.  Had a 8 hour natural labor and he was big, 8lbs 13 oz., and had shoulder dytocia.  He was stuck for a few minutes and had to have oxygen right after birth, but thankfully no NICU.

Anna:  went into labor spontaneously at 39 weeks.  Had a natural 10 hour (I know, the labors got longer : ) Great labor and delivery in the middle of the night and was so happy to have a girl after 2 boys.  She was 7lbs. 2oz.

Christian:  was a day late!  Had a midwife for him, in the hospital.  My water broke at home and went to hospital after labor was regular.  He was born after being in the jacuzzi and then on the ball.  My shortest, most peaceful labor, about 4 hours.  He was 7lbs. 12oz.

Taylor:  this is my very sad story.  I will one day do a long blog post on my precious little one, but it's too hard to focus on now.  I stopped feeling movement at 37 weeks.  A sonogram confirmed no heartbeat.  I was induced and it took 20 hours to deliver him.  He was born still, yet perfect.  He died due to a knot in the umbilical cord.  He was 7lbs. 7oz.

Luke:  my healing baby!  Born 10 days early and less than a year after Taylor with a midwife.  I did have pitocin with him due to my labor slowing way down.  He was 8lbs. 12oz.

Caroline:  she was due on Christmas Eve, so my doctor induced me a week early.  It was a nice, quiet labor and she was born with one push!  The doctor basically ran in and caught her just in time : )  She was 7lbs. 12oz.

Ellie:  I went all the way to her due date and was huge, so my doctor induced me.  She was born pretty fast and weighed 8lbs. 7oz.

MaryKate:  I really wanted to go into labor naturally, so I went past my due date.  At 3 days over, I stopped feeling her move for 3 hours.  I freaked!  I rushed to hospital with just my 13 year old son.  The baby was very tachycardic (high heart rate) and they could not get her to move either.  The doctor did an emergency c-section and she was born with an apgar score of 1.  Her second score was 8 and she was fine after that.  It was determined that she was way too tangled in her cord.  She was small, 7lbs 1oz, and I guess was just swimming around in the big uterus too much : )

Matthew:  He was on due on Thanksgiving so I chose to be induced a week early.  Because it was a v-bac, the induction was just breaking my water and monitoring.  The doc did give my a little pitocin later on, because labor was very slow.  I had to be heavily monitored and that drove me crazy!  Was a very hard labor, but it was so cool having all my family there (right outside the door) when he was born, including my mother, mother-in-law, sister and sister-in-law.  He was born surprisingly with DS, but all that is another blog post I wrote earlier.  He had no major medical problems and was adorable at 7lbs. 12oz.

Whew!  I'm getting a little nervous that I'll be doing this again.  It really never becomes "old hat" but such an awesome miracle!

Some of the hospital visitor craziness!

20 Years of Maternity Clothes

me about a month ago at 7 months along

Can anyone else say they have been buying maternity clothes for 20 years?  Please tell me if you have.......we have to have a good laugh about how styles have changed : )
I really should of taken a picture of the large garbage bags of maternity clothes that I have collected over the years.  And actually, I have given many away and loaned lots out that have never returned.  The thing is, I do love to shop and with each pregnancy I buy more maternity things.  Also, even though I have had so many pregnancies, people still give me maternity clothes.  I guess they all think I need an update : )  I have a friend here in town who has 8 children and she gave me some winter things this go around.  My favorite place for buying maternity is Target.  When I was pregnant 18 years ago with my second, I discovered their great maternity line.  I also like the Motherhood sale rack.  For a few pregnancies, I really liked JCPenny's.  But with these last 2 pregnancies I've found their things not so great, unless you're working full-time in the corporate world.....which I obviously am not.  I know some people have great luck finding things at consignment stores or thrift shops, but I never really have.  I guess I always have a pretty good stash of used things, so then I just add some fun new things.  I know there are some people that don't like to buy maternity at all.  I heard of this friend of a friend that just used the bella band with her pants and skirts and then wore her husbands shirts.  Well,  I always gain a good bit of weight and the bella band starts to bother me by week 12.  I'm not that tiny and I like to enjoy and celebrate being pregnant.  It's a special time and I always think of the pregnancy I'm in as possibly my last.  To me it's a time to cherish and marvel at what God is doing.  Anyway, here is a list of some essentials I think every maternity wardrobe should have and some things I've really liked over the last 20 years of being large and with child : )  Maybe this will help someone just starting out and help them weed through the sea of maternity "needs."

1. Bella Band for first trimester

2.  2-3 maternity tank tops

3.  black yoga type knit pants-these are the best for working out, walking, or lounging...at
     least 2 pair, one or more carpri if weather is hot.

4.  2 comfortable but could dress-up maternity jeans

5.  2 nice pair of shorts if it's a summer or late spring pregnancy

6.  1 pair of black maternity pants

7.  3 cute, comfy dresses that you can wear to church or dress down for other places too

8.  3 solid color knit maternity tops (long or short sleeve depending on weather)

9.  A few cute t-shirts or maternity work-out tops to encourage staying in shape ; )

10.  3 fun, colorful maternity tops (this is where I try to find something unique)

11.  Black, knit skirt that goes under or over your belly.  I have loved this with my last 3
      pregnancies.

12.  1 good pair of maternity leggings, 1 pair tights and 1 pair hose.

Well, that's really all you need!  Remember, don't over buy but don't under buy either.  Enjoy this time.  It goes by so very fast and don't give too much of your maternity things away, because you never really know how many pregnancies you will have.  I'm a testimony to this!

Can't Wait for the Babymoom

I'm just entering the third trimester and I'm already looking forward to my "babymoon."  I recently just learned this term from another blogger friend and I just love it.  I have had a babymoon, so to speak, since my second born but just didn't know this great name for it.  I learned way back that the freshly newborn phase goes by way too fast!  Also, I learned with my first, that even if you feel great, it's not the best thing for the mom or baby to get out and about too early.  I truly believe that if you plan on having a good many children, then you should protect your womb and let it heal properly.  Also, with my first, I felt so great and it was the holiday season, so I went out everywhere with him when he was still so little.  He then got a bad case of RSV and we ended up in the hospital, which really throws you into parenthood fast!

Anyway, this is basically how I spend my babymoon:
(btw, this is if you have a vaginal birth.  I did have one c-section and I added a week or so to everything listed)
My husband does take 1-2 weeks off of work and I plan ahead of time to take 2 weeks off of schooling.

First 2 weeks
     No cooking (we have a great church family that brings meals, plus I usually have a relative in town to help.)
     No homeschooling, no cleaning (if you don't have any help, tell people you want a gift card for a cleaning crew to come in about a week after baby is born).
     No exercising, except maybe a walk around the block or some light Pilate's in bed.
     No going anywhere, unless it's to the doctor or midwife.
     Kiss, hug, snuggle and nurse your baby a lot!

Next 4 weeks
     Continue no cooking (at this point I have meals in freezer if meals have stopped coming from friends or my husband picks up something or have kids cook.)
     Ease back into exercise slowly.  Add 1/2 mile to my walks and slowly add gym back into schedule with very light weights or just bike riding.
     Get help with driving.  I just tell my children we are scaling back and then I get more bold about asking others to drive my children to extracurriculars.

Enjoying my last babymoon~

Sisters fighting over their baby brother!  

Mattie Will Have a Buddy!

We found out last week that this precious new little one growing inside of me is a boy!  Everything looked beautiful and it's so amazing to see all the growth that is going on inside of me!  Even though a girl would of evened things out, Mattie would of been surrounded by 3 girls right above him in birth order and then a little sister on top of that.  I'm glad it is a boy for him!

The amazing thing is, I lost a full-term baby boy in March of 2000 and this little boy is due in early March.  God is faithful and has given me such peace.  I'm amazed at his mercy and as I look at my children that came after that extremely hard experience, I know  they are my "beauty from ashes."  Taylor, my little guy in heaven, was stillborn due to a knot in the umbilical cord.  Sometime I will write a blog post on that experience, but I do just want to say that God truly carried us through that dark time.  I learned though it all that God is in control of the children we have and I would never take a pregnancy or a little baby for granted again.

To Find Out or Not Find Out

Boy or Girl?

This isn't a post about finding out if anything is "wrong" with our new little one.  My husband and I have never had prenatal screenings performed with any of our pregnancies.  We believe that God is in control and knits each one of our children together in His own way.  We would never consider terminating a pregnancy. So why would we waste time, money and emotional energy (must less put a baby at risk with an amnio.) to satisfy our anxious curiosity?  We have, however, for the last 5 pregnancies had a level 2 sonogram.  Being over 35, it was kind of expected of us and we thought since it wasn't invasive it would be neat to see a long, clear picture of our little one.  But with this pregnancy, we have even opted out of that.  With Matthew, who has Down Syndrome, they told us everything was "perfect" with him. He had no DS markers.  But with Caroline, baby #6, they told us that she had club feet and possibly a heart defect.  We kept this to ourselves and prayed a lot, but she was born with no problems at all.  Also, with the level two sonograms performed at Duke, medical staff made a big deal about my risk of having a child with "problems" due to my age.  Their attempt at heightening our anxiety (whether intentional of not) made me mad and I really don't want to give them any more money.  So with this baby, we will just have a regular sonogram performed at my Christian, very pro-life doctor's office.  We will have this sometime around 20 weeks, so we could find out the gender.  We actually have not known the sex with 5 of our children and have known with 4.  I'm kind of up in the air about finding out, but my husband really wants to know.  With Mattie, he was the tie-breaker so we didn't find out.  There are advantages to both.  I tell all Moms that it's really fun not knowing, especially with your first.  If you do know with your first and get all, or mostly all, boy or girl stuff, then you have to get so much more with the next baby if it's the opposite sex.  We were surprised with our first 4 children and I was able to use the same bedding, nursery stuff and newborn clothes with all of them (3 boys and one girl).  There is just something about the suspense of waiting and I think it helps labor because you are so excited to know the gender of the baby.  There is nothing like hearing, "It's a boy!" or "It's a gir!l" for the first time as the little precious body leaves your own.  But, all that to say, we will probably find out the gender this time. Logistically speaking, we would like to know who this baby will room with and my older kids are very anxious to find out this time.  So, I think we will find out whether we will tie things up this time or if the boys will really win!

Baby #10 due March 10!

Now that I've had 2 good doctor appointments and I'm officially out of the first trimester, we thought we would make it public (not that my kids haven't told about 100 people already : ) But we are expecting again and I am due March 10!  I was a bit shocked (I'm getting a little older now and thought it wouldn't be quite so easy to get pregnant.) We are very happy though and the kids are thrilled.  It's so wonderful how children are always so excited about another baby in the house and another sibling to love.  God is good and we do feel so very blessed.  It's been a rough month though, with the morning (really all day) sickness.  I'm so glad to be feeling somewhat better.  My children are glad that I am cooking again :o) Usually my morning sickness is completely gone by 14 weeks so only one more week to go.  Coffee is sounding good again so I must be on the upswing.  We have gotten a few negative comments from some extended family members but we have gotten so many positive ones, which are encouraging.  I'm so glad our church family and friends value life and trust that God is in control!

My Take on Pregnancy

     OK, here is a picture of me when I was almost due with my last baby.  It was 2 weeks until his due date and I wasn't real happy with my darling husband taking this picture.  Anyway, I have actually had 10 full term pregnancies (I had one precious son who was still-born in 2000, but that's another blog post.) Since I have gone through so many pregnancies and also am an RN that worked on a high-risk prenatal floor for 2 years, I thought I would give some "pregnancy bullet points" as I call them.  So here goes:

1.  Morning sickness is yucky and I've tried just about everything to stop it.  Nothing really works, you just has to persevere through it.  Thankfully you will get amnesia regarding this and really not remember how bad those 8 weeks were.  But, I have found that hot tea and toast in the morning is a life-saver, as well as Vit. B6, and eating protein and carbs basically all the time.  Don't worry about weight gain at this time, just get through it.

2.  Keep exercising through out the pregnancy, unless your doctor or mid-wife has told you otherwise.  I usually can't exercise much the first trimester, but when I'm feeling better than I go back to my regular routine of 3 days of cardio alternated with 3 days of strength.  I do love the book "Pregnancy Pilate's."  It has a great routine for each trimester and I do that once or twice a week for my strength day.  Walking is great for cardio.  I did jog through half of a few pregnancies, but I don't think that's really the best for your uterus if you plan on having a lot of babies.

3.  Take childbirth classes (I love the Bradley Method) for your first pregnancy and we even took a refresher course during our second pregnancy.  I really wanted to avoid a c-section and managed to until #8.

4.  Eat healthy and really don't double your intake (which I did with my first baby and gained almost 50lbs).  I love the Brewer Diet (you can google it) for pregnancy, even though I probably only followed it strictly for 2 of my pregnancies.) I do allow myself to have one dessert a day as long as my weight isn't creeping up too much.  I do usually gain 35-40 pounds each time.

5.  As far as getting the weight off, breastfeed and exercise is what I tell women.  Try to exclusively breastfeed for at least 6 months and them keep breastfeeding until at least 12 months.  This keeps your body making lots of milk and burning calories.  Get breastfeeding support.  You may need to do this before the baby is born.

6.  Enjoy the pregnancy.  I treat each pregnancy like it were my last.  You just never know if you will carry a precious little one again.  Buy cute clothes ( I love Target and ebay for this) and indulge yourself some.

7.  Rest everyday on your left side-especially the last trimester.  This keeps fluid down and is good for the baby and you.  Get good sleep at night now and be all ready for baby by 37 weeks, cause you never know!

Well, I know this isn't all inclusive, but it's all I have time for today.  Feel free to ask any questions!