MakeTime for Your Man

My husband and I just went on our yearly Carribean vacation sans kids.  

Yes, it's kind of pricey but we budget all year so we can go. 
 Yes, it's hard to leave the kids but it's actually good for them and great for us as a couple. 
 Yes, it takes planning, finding the best sitter, preparing meals ahead of time and making lists and more lists.  But let me tell you, it is so worth it!  

Like I've said in previous blog posts, your kids will grow-up and leave home but your spouse will be there with you for a a life time.  Also, a great analogy is a living cell.  If the nucleus of a cell is not healthy, the whole cell is unhealthy.  Our marriage relationship is the nucleus of our family cell. It seems like so many moms now-a-days put so much time, energy and mental energy into keeping their children happy and healthy (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually healthy) but very little time into keeping their marriage relationship happy and healthy.  I'll get off my soap box now, but I like how my husband put it in an instagram post he did, "Sabbatical, rest, recovery.  Our marital soul is in desperate need of these like a car needs a tune-up.  Between kids, jobs, bills and disappointments our hearts cry out for a soul connection to God's greatest gift to us-our life covenant partner." 

So, even if you have to take your nursing baby with you (notice I said baby not toddler..haha) and can't go very far, just do it.  Go away with your hubby and give him the undivided attention he deserves. 

The Importance of Vacation Traditions

For the last 5 years, we have taken our summer vacation at the same beach in NC.  Prior to this we took a few summers off doing other vacations instead of the beach. Then before that we tried different beaches trying to find the best one for us.  In the winter, when it's time to reserve a beach house, we always discuss maybe doing something different.  The kids quickly get upset and say, "no, we have to go to the beach."  It's the same when we try to go to another camp in July than the one we have been going to for 20 years now.  Children, and even teens, love tradition.  They love the memories.  Even if everything is not perfect, they will remember the good times, the funny times, the silly times.  Even if the car breaks down on the way there, you don't have enough room for everyone, the house has mice or roaches, kids fight, it rains the whole time or whatever (actually all these things have happened to us at some point), your family is making memories.  These are memories that will be with them forever.  And God really made our brains to remember the good over the bad.  The family bonding is so important too.  So, save a little money through-out the year and don't let a summer go by without a family vacay.  Here's some pics from our summer beach trip-2014.

We always try to rent a house on the beach side.  But the island we go to has a good bit of green natural space so there is a wooden boardwalk to the ocean. It's a nice peaceful walk and we see deer, rabbits, and lots of birds.

The only family picture we got this year.  Ben, my second son, was working at a camp in Colorado so he was unable to be with us.  Will was on leave from Ft. Bragg so was able just to come for the weekend.

We had some good friends come for a few days.  We squeezed them in.  We always try to get a house big enough so the kids can bring a few friends. 

My oldest daughter and I playing in the surf.  There is something so therapeutic about playing in the ocean.  I love swimming out deep with my older kids too.

My little crazy guys loved the ocean.  They could of played in the surf and sand all day.  

The morning we left, I took the little ones down to the beach super early.  It was so nice and quiet and we were all sad to leave.

Disney for the Large Family

And we were off!!!
Yes, we took 7 kids to Disney World for our spring break so there was 9 of us total. My older 3 were not able to come and to be honest, they said, "We've done Disney Mom.  It's really OK for us to miss."
Now I love Disney (more than my husband does and I think even more than some of my kids : )  I had a plan and it involved getting up early and go, go, going.  Believe me, when we returned home, we were saying,"I need a vacation from my vacation!"
I know there are million posts out there with Disney tips, but I thought I would give you some of mine, particularly helpful if you have a bunch of kids in different age ranges.  I won't give the usual or obvious tips, such as.....bring your own snacks and water bottles, go when it isn't so crowded, etc.  But instead some things I've learned over the years in bringing more than the average number of children to the "Vegas of the South" as I call it. But first a few pics........

We thought we actually got a complete family pic in Norway at Epcot (my husband is Norwegian) but the older gentleman that we asked to take our picture didn't get Matthew who was in the stroller!

Then this great pic taken going back into Future World was photo bombed by some crazy stranger!

Well, here's the tips..........

1. Get the book "The Unofficial Guide to DisneyWorld."  It's a great book and it will give you a plan.  They print a new one each year.  I've been using these books since we first went to Disney as a family 15 years ago.  I got mine at the library this time. 

2. If you have little ones still that don't sleep too well in a hotel room, stay off site at a condo that has transportation to Disney.  We did that this time and even though it took longer to get to the actual parks than staying "in the world" we slept much better and saved a ton of money.

3. Rent a stroller from them.  Don't bring one.  I promise I have tried both ways and really the Disney strollers are awesome.  As you can see from the picture below, you can easily fit 3 kids in it and you don't have to worry about lugging your own around.

4.  Like I said above, get to the park as soon as it opens or at least as soon as you can without getting too stressed out.  We were there during a pretty busy time of year, but we never waited longer then 20 minutes in any line due to getting there early and also having a plan.

5. Don't stress about doing it all.  Chances are, you will be back in your lifetime.  Do what appeals to most of the ages in your group and leave the rest for another time.

6.  Have pairs that are responsible for watching each other.  Also, have a team that wants to ride the more crazy, fast, scary rides and be prepared to separate as needed.  We did this a good bit.  My husband doesn't really like roller coasters and I do.  So I would go with the older kids sometimes to ride the crazy stuff.

7.  Fast Pass has changed some in the past year.  Get your fast passes from a FP site right when you enter the park.  I would have my husband take the kids on a ride or walk around while I got the FP for everyone.  It takes a bit of time if you have a large group, but it's worth it in the end. 

8. Right when you get home, write down what you did each day so you can put it in a scrapbook.  Also, ask each child what was their favorite thing they did on the trip.  It's so funny to hear their responses and write it down too!  It's so cute to look at years later. 

9.  Dress in layers.  Don't carry too much stuff with you.  Have a back-pack that small enough to take on rides with you (not a giant diaper bag) and have everyone wear comfortable sneakers.  Bring sunscreen and band aides and charged cell phones.  But think light!

10.  And just be prepared for melt downs.  We saw so many children having melt downs and temper tantrums, particularly in the Magic Kingdom.  It was actually kind of funny because it was a constant thing.  My husband and I started calling Disney "The Melt Down Capital of the World."  And I'm not just talking about kids here : )

We also spent a day at SeaWorld.....it was great but it rained that day so some things were closed.  I was surprised that SeaWorld is just as expensive as Disney.  Was not quite prepared for that.

Here we are at Seaworld in the new Artic exhibit with real penguins.  It was 32 degrees in there!

A cool pic in Animal Kingdom.  This was some of my kids favorite Disney park.

We could easily fit 3 kids in the big Disney strollers (Seaworld had them too) but most of the time the little boys didn't want to share. 

This was a typical afternoon for my husband.  The little boys took naps in his arms or in the stroller since we were too far from our condo to go back for official nap time.  They were pretty tired by the end of the day. 

One of the few character pics we got.  I'm not a fan of standing in line to get a pic with a person dressed up.  We saw many characters around the parks, particularly in the parades.  My children don't care too much about that and kind of feel the same way as me.

Patrick's favorite thing at Animal Kingdom was feeding the mallards and brushing the goats in the petting zoo.  These were 2 things we could of just done in NC!
It seems that kids don't appreciate so many things at Disney which is why we only go about every 5-6 years.
Happy Vacation!

Yes, I Left Them

My husband and I in Cancun (Camp Coon as my kids called it) last week.

This year we will celebrate our 25 year wedding anniversary and we took an early celebration trip in the middle of this cold winter.  Yes, we left all 10 kids back here in the states and had a wonderful time!  It really was the best vacation we have ever had.  We were gone for 5 days and even though there was a ton of prep to do beforehand, not to mention a few panic attacks when I thought about leaving them, it was so worth it.
I would encourage all you married couples to never forget to invest in your marriage.  The kids will one day grow-up and leave the nest and it will just be the 2 of you once again.  A happy, healthy marriage is the greatest gift that you can give your children.  It doesn't matter if you practice attachment parenting, homeschool, take them to church, give them every luxury or extra-curricular activity, etc. if you do not have a strong marriage relationship then all the above is in vain. I think I've said this before, but if the nucleus of a cell is not healthy, than the whole cell is not healthy.
I know when the children are small it is harder to get away, but it still can be done.  If you have a child younger than 12 months that you are still nursing, then take them with you.  If they are older than that, they can be left.  Your child will never remember you even leaving them when they are younger than 3.
Below is a picture of the 11 pages of instructions I left for the kids and sitters before I left.  I started working on this about 5 days before our departure. 

 It's so nice too, with cell phones and internet that I was able to keep in touch with them but my husband wouldn't let me too much.  You know, you have detach some to really relax. 

My toes enjoying the Caribbean.....the weather was so very perfect. 

The resort we went to was a couple's only resort and all inclusive and away from all the main resorts of Cancun. 

We took a boat out to a coral reef and both went snorkeling for the first time.  It was so beautiful and we marveled at God's creation.

The view from our room.  Boy, with all the snow we've had this past week I am sure missing this.....maybe next year again : )

It's a Family Trip, Not a Vacation

Sorry it's been quite awhile since I've blogged......we've had a busy early fall and recently went on a mountain vacation, wait correction....family trip 

My husband and I have learned to not think of our "family trips" as vacations because then our expectations for rest and relaxation are way too high.  I mean, how could moving 12 plus people from point A to point B (even if it is just 3 hours away to the Blue Ridge mountains) with everything you need to live on in a mountain cabin (well yes, it was completely furnished) ever be relaxing and refreshing?! I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "I need a vacation from my vacation!"  Well, that's pretty much what my husband and I said when we got home.  Now, don't get me wrong.  It's not that we didn't have a wonderfully fun time and make memories that will last a life time.  (In fact, this trip we made quite a few memories that we will be laughing about one day but that's another post.) It's just that it's work and really it's a gift to our children and precious time making memories and strengthening bonds.  But we've realized that a true vacation is when Ron and I get to go away by ourselves.  And yes, we came home planning just that : )  So all you moms and dads out there with little ones or lots of big ones or even just a few kids, I would suggest lowering your "family trip" expectations.  Don't think of it as a vacation but as a time to strengthen family bonds and make memories that will last a lifetime.  I think it was James Dodson who said that years from now you will only remember the good memories that came from the trip and that fact that you took the time to take all your kids on the trip in the first place. Your children will remember it for a lifetime and tell their own children about the funny, scary, silly, crazy memories.  

Well, here is some from our fall mountain family vacay...

We ended up arriving in 3 cars and then having to rent the below 4x4 to get up the gravel mountain road to our cabin.  That was quite an adventure : )

Here is the said 4x4, which we all had fun driving and now my kids want one.....great.

Anna and I right outside our cabin door.  The view was breathtaking. Can you tell my face is puffy cause I wasn't sleeping very well....haha.

Ben with his roommate from college, Nathan. who joined us on the trip.  He's one of 10 also, so we didn't freak him out too much : )

Hiking up Mt. Jefferson with 13 people.  It was beautiful even though foggy and no one fell off the mountain......whew!

Anna and her little buddy, Patrick, on the top of Mt. Jefferson

My honey and our little guys.  This would of been a beautiful picture if it weren't for the fog.

Picnicking on the trail.  Silly me forgot all the drinks except for one water bottle and a sippy cup.  We managed to survive. 

And yes, I did get a bit of rest and relaxation. Here is my afternoon coffee view....it was nice.

Fall Break.........

Well, it's been a lovely fall break at our house and I guess you noticed I took a break from blogging too.  So sorry.  Things got busy and as you other bloggers out there know, a blog is like a pet that you have to feed and water and care for and when you're like me and have so many others to "feed and care for" the blog goes out the window, so to speak. 

We were blessed to have all our kids on the same fall break and were able to rent a mountain cabin and all be together for a few days relaxing and enjoying God's beautiful creation........I just love fall and I love the Blue Ridge Mountains!

So, here are some pics.........

My cute tired boys are the trip up to the mountains.  Isn't it so very nice when everyone sleeps peacefully on a long car ride?

The main thing we did everyday was go hiking.  Each day we took about a one mile hike on a different trial with all the kids. We would bring a picnic lunch and eat out on the trail.  It was so beautiful and the great thing about this activity is it's free, plus good for you!

My boys were great "carriers" of the smaller boys.  We borrowed an Ergo and I brought our off brand Ergo and we managed.  But next year, we need at least one true back pack for these little guys.....they are getting long and heavy!

Our cabin came complete with horses on the property.  We weren't able to ride them, but my kids loved petting them and feeding them way too many apples : ) They were beautiful to watch from our porch.  The kids also had tons of fun exploring the Christmas tree farms all around out cabin. 

We drove then hiked up some pretty high elevations. The kids loved it and the girls weren't even tired or nervous.

Matthew loved the great outdoors.  Here he is with blue lips cause he had just gotten into the M&M's that we had brought along for hiking energy.....of course, he had just been riding : )

My boys caught lots of yummy fresh water trout and we had them for dinner!

            All the girls on top of Mount Jefferson

And all my boys on top of Mount Jefferson....we never got a whole family picture but made some great memories.

An Attempt To Tour DC With 7 Kids In a Day

Riding the DC Metro.......oh my!

My husband often accuses me of trying to "bite off more than I can chew" and I'm not talking about when I'm eating....haha. We were returning from a week long camp vacation with family in Penn and had an extra day to kill on the way back home.  I thought, "how fun to take the kids to DC and do a little touring on the way home!"  Forget that the kids were all exhausted from camp, our budget was pretty spent, our double stroller was in the dumpster at the said camp and 3 of the children probably wouldn't even remember the "touring of national monuments."  
Well, I should of known the little trip was not going to go too well when our hotel ended up being in a rather "sketchy" area of the city.  There was no place remotely near to buy a new stroller and we had no baby backpacks or slings with us either.  We slept pretty good anyway (the desk clerk put us on a quiet floor, she said) and we headed out in the morning hoping to find someplace that rented strollers.  We walked to the Metro. It then took about 20 minutes, with the help of an attendant, to figure it all out and buy our slew of tickets.  We had to switch trains and I basically "freaked out" with my little ones even remotely near the train track.  It was so scary!  I guess I'm not used to their speed and the openness of the tracks.  I felt like I was on top of a super high building with little children, my little children, running all around!
So, we finally made it to the Mall in front of the capital and headed over to the the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, which had said online that they rented strollers. Well, just to let you know, they don't anymore!  Boy were Patrick and Matthew getting heavy..........30 pound heavy!  And it was way to crowded to just let them walk.  The Museum was nice, but again too crowded for me and I was scared I would loose someone ( let me take the time to say that strollers are a wonderful invention!  Not just for holding children but holding "stuff" and for other children to hold on to so you know exactly where they are). We realize about 20 minutes into the museum that Patrick had a very stinky, leaky diaper.  I had to totally change him, but had no extra outfit (of all times!), just an extra sweatshirt.  So now Patrick was running around the Smithsonian with just a diaper on and a sweatshirt. We finally gave up on the museum and headed outside.  It was now raining and we had no umbrella......I know, I know we just really are not prepared, at least not this trip anyway.  We take a few pics, have a snack and then Matthew throws-up all over Christian!  We all kind of freaked! We go into another Smithsonian building that has a gift shop and a cafe. We have to buy new shirts for Christian and Matthew, and then manage to have a nice little lunch.  We come out and it's still raining, so at this point I just want to go back to the hotel and get our stuff and head home.  The train ride is stressful, even worse than before, and longer.  We get our stuff from the hotel that they had put in storage because we had missed check-out time.  Our ride home was uneventful, thank the Lord but we later realized that we had had some things stolen from our suitcases!  All in all, not a trip I want to make again.  We will definitely prepare better in advance : /

The only descent pic we got : )

Large Family Vacations

Yeah, large family vacations are fun, busy and different from small family vacations. I think my husband and I need a vacation just by ourselves after our large family vacation, even though we do have a blast : )


We just returned from a week vacation at the beach with our crew plus a few friends.  So while everything is still fresh in my mind, I thought I would share some tips on traveling with many kids and also some things that are just different when you are traveling en masse. 


1. Anyone over 5 should be able to pack themselves. Yes, the mom will still need to check the suitcase to make sure they have packed what is needed, but it helps when they can do the bulk of the packing.  Also, last year I invested in each child over 4 their own little suitcase with wheels.  This has helped tremendously, especially if you will be staying in multiply sights and having to unload everything.  It helps so much just to tell the kids to grab and roll their own suitcase.  


2.  Enjoy the trip and even the packing-up.  Bring snacks for the car ride, games, story CD's, books and if the trip is longer than 4 hours I would recommend a good family movie.


3.  Plan your meals and grocery trips as soon as you get to your destination.  Write it down if you have to, but have a plan on what and where you will eat while you are vacationing.  Then you can enlist the teens to help with the shopping and cooking.


4.  Have everyone unpack as soon as you get to where you are going and make up the beds if need be.  Also, plan ahead of time where everyone will sleep.  I usually am the first one to go into the rental house or condo and assign rooms. There is no "running in and grabbing a room" allowed. 


5.  Plan "down-time" for all and also some time just to spend with your husband.  Even if it's just a late night walk on the beach : )


6.  Bring lots of fans.  This help tremendously when you have 4 or 5 kids sleeping in a room together.  I love "white noise" and you really need it with 14 people crammed in a 3-4 bedroom beach house. 


7. Most of all remember that it doesn't have to be perfect. Children remember the fun times together even if it's crazy or stressful for you.  My children still talk fondly of times when we ran out of gas on the way to Disney World, lost electricity at the beach, had a screaming MK with an ear infection on a crazy trip out west, etc.  You're making wonderful family memories, and it really is worth it!

 One of the few times we ate seafood out.  Tip, have everyone order waters and kids share platters.

 Free entertainment......races on the beach.

 Matthew's first crab (we caught 20 plus crabs....free meal : )

Ron and I had some time to ourselves one afternoon (teens can babysit!) and rode our bikes out to the end of the island....it was beautiful.