Large Family Vacations

Yeah, large family vacations are fun, busy and different from small family vacations. I think my husband and I need a vacation just by ourselves after our large family vacation, even though we do have a blast : )


We just returned from a week vacation at the beach with our crew plus a few friends.  So while everything is still fresh in my mind, I thought I would share some tips on traveling with many kids and also some things that are just different when you are traveling en masse. 


1. Anyone over 5 should be able to pack themselves. Yes, the mom will still need to check the suitcase to make sure they have packed what is needed, but it helps when they can do the bulk of the packing.  Also, last year I invested in each child over 4 their own little suitcase with wheels.  This has helped tremendously, especially if you will be staying in multiply sights and having to unload everything.  It helps so much just to tell the kids to grab and roll their own suitcase.  


2.  Enjoy the trip and even the packing-up.  Bring snacks for the car ride, games, story CD's, books and if the trip is longer than 4 hours I would recommend a good family movie.


3.  Plan your meals and grocery trips as soon as you get to your destination.  Write it down if you have to, but have a plan on what and where you will eat while you are vacationing.  Then you can enlist the teens to help with the shopping and cooking.


4.  Have everyone unpack as soon as you get to where you are going and make up the beds if need be.  Also, plan ahead of time where everyone will sleep.  I usually am the first one to go into the rental house or condo and assign rooms. There is no "running in and grabbing a room" allowed. 


5.  Plan "down-time" for all and also some time just to spend with your husband.  Even if it's just a late night walk on the beach : )


6.  Bring lots of fans.  This help tremendously when you have 4 or 5 kids sleeping in a room together.  I love "white noise" and you really need it with 14 people crammed in a 3-4 bedroom beach house. 


7. Most of all remember that it doesn't have to be perfect. Children remember the fun times together even if it's crazy or stressful for you.  My children still talk fondly of times when we ran out of gas on the way to Disney World, lost electricity at the beach, had a screaming MK with an ear infection on a crazy trip out west, etc.  You're making wonderful family memories, and it really is worth it!

 One of the few times we ate seafood out.  Tip, have everyone order waters and kids share platters.

 Free entertainment......races on the beach.

 Matthew's first crab (we caught 20 plus crabs....free meal : )

Ron and I had some time to ourselves one afternoon (teens can babysit!) and rode our bikes out to the end of the island....it was beautiful.

A Year of Classical Conversations

My Anna.....graduating last week from her Christian Classical high-school. I homeschooled her through 8th grade.  I can't believe she is a high-school graduate now!  I'm so very glad I was able to spend more time with her,especially in the early years, by homeschooling her.

Last August when we were beginning a new homeschool journey, I said that I would let you all know how using Classical Conversations for a year has been.  Well, we have loved it!! It has been such a blessing to us and I think this past year has been one of our best homeschooling years........yes, even with having 2 "babies" to tend to and 5 different grade levels to teach. So, for time's sake, I'm going to give a bucket-list of reasons we have liked it so much and why we will continue with CC. 


1. It gives me a scope and sequence that I can use for preK-12th, if desired.
2. All my children have enjoyed it immensely.
3. I love the community it has given us and the other homeschool moms I have met.  These mothers, and Dads, are not only very committed to their family, but very committed to homeschooling.
4. My children have learned so very much!  The memorization comes so easily to them and they have been so "impressed" with themselves.
5. It actually frees me up some in the morning.  I can put on the CC time-line or weekly CD and they can begin without me. 
6. I have loved learning along with them and especially learning about Classical education in general.


We will continue next year and I'm actually planning on being a tutor the for the K-1st grade class.  MK is so excited that I will be her teacher : )

Matthew and Patrick

Patrick taking care of Matthew : )


Now I have 2 toddlers!  My babies are both walking around everywhere so that means I'm chasing them around everywhere!  It's amazing, because the same week that Patrick (now 14 months) began walking nonstop, was the same week that Matthew took off as well.  Matthew had taken steps independently right before his 3rd birthday and was walking if we held one of his hands, but he had still mostly crawled everywhere.  Well now finally, at 3 years and 5 months, he is walking all the time.  Whew, what a relief!  He has small orthotics (kind of like Sure-Steps) but now he is even walking at times with no orthotics or shoes on.  I'm hoping that he will eventually not need the orthotics as his ankle strength grows.  


Matthew has been in a special-ed preschool class since December and is loving it.  He is learning a lot of sign language and also saying more words.  It's a big help to me as well, because I now have more time to devote to homeschooling the other children.  He loves going too.


Patrick is such a joy and of course seems so "advanced" compared to Matthew.  People warned me that this would happen when you have a Down Syndrome or other special needs child and then have a typical child.  The younger, typical child seems like a genius or whiz-kid.  It's crazy how we as parents forget how fast our little ones can learn and how fast they grow-up. 


 God knew that Matthew would need Patrick.  He motivates Matthew already and they are becoming great buddies, ie"partners in crime" : )I know as time goes on, that Matthew will need Patrick more and more and Patrick will care for him and protect him.  I love watching them together!  It's a busy, busy time but I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Perspective

Anna 16 years ago, right after we had moved to NC.

Anna now, getting ready to graduate from high school .....sniff, sniff

Just wanted to give some of y'all out there some perspective.  Maybe you have a house full of little ones or just one precious little baby in your arms, either way, let me tell you....it goes by so fast!  I know you hear it all the time and I know I've said it a dozen times on this blog, but they don't stay little very long and you blink, and they are driving, talking about colleges, and actually sounding kind of mature.  

God has been helping me a good bit with "perspective" lately.  For instance, I got really upset this past weekend about some really silly things. I had missed the sign-up for one of my kids tennis tournament and that was the last straw. I felt like I had so many things to do and so many things to remember, that I just lost it!  My husband talked me down and helped me start a list, right on the fridge, and not just try to keep everything in my head or even in my calendar (which I frequently forget to look at.)  I had read somewhere that a Mom told her daughter, "If paying taxes is your biggest problem, then you really don't have any problems." WOW,that is really true!  We as Americans make the biggest deal over things that are so insignificant in eternity. So, I put my "problems" in that sentence......

If missing the sign-up for a tennis tournament, is my biggest problem, then I really don't have any problems.

If trying to figure out where my Mom is going to live, is my biggest problem, then I really don't have any problems.

If being sad that my precious daughter is all grown-up and graduating from high-school, is my biggest problem, then I really don't have any problems.

Try this with your "problems" and it really helps with perspective.  You know, we all have bigger fish to fry, right? (that saying helps me too : )

So, hug your little ones today and kiss them and cherish even changing diapers or cleaning up cheerios off the floor, or helping them with long division one more time.  Because, it will be over soon. Oh Lord, help us keep an eternal perspective!

Homeschool "Blond Moments"

I've been homeschooling now for 16 years and in 2 weeks will have graduated 3 from high school.  You would think that I would have it "all together" so to speak.  I've taught just about all grades, except 10th and 12th.  I should know it all but really, I just act like I know it all....well, most of the time.  I'm not embarrassed to say I don't know something or to ask one of my older, "smarter" kids a question about something.  But many times, I'm still winging it.  I'm sure teachers in school wing it a good bit too and in spite of my short comings, my children test well at the end of the year and more importantly are growing-up to be fine, responsible young adults who I love to be around.  


Anyway, back to my title.....whenever I have a dingy moment, my kids call it a blond moment.  Sometimes my kids don't even know that I'm having one, but usually my older kids catch me.  The most recent one happened about a month ago.  We had been memorizing the US Presidents in order and so I found a book on my homeschool bookshelf that I thought was titled "The 5 US Presidents Not Born in the US."  (I must of been really tired that morning to read the title so very wrong.)  So I picked up the book and announce to my kids what the book is about that we will be reading over the next few mornings.  My 11 year old son replies, "Mom, I thought it was a law that you HAD to be born in the US to be President."  I reply that that is correct, but these Presidents must of been Presidents before that law was put into place.  Then I hold up the book to them and my 13 year old says, "Mom, isn't that a picture of Einstein?  Einstein was never president!"  At this remark, I turn the book around and look more closely at it and realize the title of the book is "5 US Scientists Not Born in the US."  Oops!  Well, I quickly corrected myself, had a good laugh and we put the book away.  


Things like this have happened  frequently over the years. My older kids laugh at me and my daughter says that people ask her if English is her second language.  She says, "Yes, and southern is my first."  I guess I need to work on my grammar and pronunciation a bit.  Really though, being married to a New Yorker has improved it quite a bit.  I'm so thankful for homeschool curriculums and love, consistency and the Lord make-up for my short comings!  And this coming fall, I will have 3 in college.......it's a miracle : )

Chores, Yet Again

MaryKate begged and begged for me to buy her this child-sized broom.  She calls it her "little sweep" and having child-sized cleaning tools really helps with the motivation factor : )

Well, since my last post was rather heavy and the one before that rather comical, I thought I should do a  practical post.  Plus, it's been awhile since I have talked about chores and getting my children to "help" around the house.  

We are still doing our chore chart that I purchased from "Doorposts" and it's divided up into daily and weekly jobs (see picture below.)  I rotate these jobs monthly so that no one gets too tired of one job.  Their daily jobs should be done in the morning and sometimes afternoon as well (like the straighten living room or school room job and feeding the animals.)  The weekly jobs we all do together on Saturday.  It's been a little crazy lately with soccer season (3 kids' games on Saturday) plus tennis tournaments for my 13 year old but we pretty much get it done.  I do the sheets and my older daughter, husband and I all chip in and do the bathrooms. Everyone else does their jobs. 

 Well, I was getting tired of reminding everyone, especially for daily jobs.  I also got tired of nagging about starting school on time and doing their independent work first thing in the morning, like math drills and handwriting.  So I started a new little chart for allowance.  They each get a quarter for every year they are old for their allowance.  I've been pretty slack about remembering allowance and I don't like paying them just for being my child (that like entitlement payment :)but I do like to pay them for the work they do.  I put the below little chart up every week with the number of circles next to their name representing the number of quarters they get per week.  If they don't do their daily chores, are not starting school on time, not finishing and putting-up their school work up when done, or having a bad attitude about school, then they get a quarter crossed off.  On Saturday afternoon they receive their allowance based on the quarters that are left.  It's been a great system so far (as long as I remember to have the cash on Saturday to pay them : )  I love this system because it keeps them and me accountable and cuts out a lot of nagging and fussing on my part.  Hope this helps someone out there.  blessing!

My little helper in front of the chore chart.  I love using the clothes pins with the children's names on them instead of the sticky notes I used to use.

I make a little list every week of the "quarter chart" for their allowance. 

A Stillborn Son: Remembering the Hardest Time of My Life

Last month marked the 12 year birthday of my son who was still born.  His name was Taylor Oran and this is his short, but precious story.  I've been asked numerous time to do a blog post on this very hard time in my life, and I've finally gotten the courage to write about it.  I do want to add a warning, that if you are pregnant, especially in the last trimester, you may not want to read this.  I don't want to instill fear in anyone and I try to keep my blog positive, which is one reason I have taken so long to write about this.  But I do want to encourage women who have ever been through anything similar, that you will make it.  You will be happy and "normal" again and God does take the incredibly hard things we walk through to mature us, mold us and draw us closer to Himself.  

I woke-up that Saturday morning filled with excitement and hope.  Today I was 37 weeks pregnant, considered full-term.  The baby could be born anytime now!  I had my second child at 38 weeks, so I thought maybe I could have this one even earlier!  We cleaned up the house, had breakfast and even did a pregnancy work-out video.  I told my husband that we needed to make a trip to Target to get the last few things before baby #5 arrived.  The closest Target was almost 30 minutes away in a nearby town, so we decided to make a day trip out of it and take the other 4 kids.  We had a great time buying some girl and boy baby things (we hadn't found out what sex the baby was), a shelf, some blankets and eating out at McDonald's (I even remember to this day exactly what I was wearing and what I got to eat that day.)When we got back home, I put my 22 month old down for a nap and laid down myself.  I remember thinking that I had not felt the baby move lately and I lay there waiting for movement.  I must of fallen asleep for about an hour and when I woke-up, I again thought I had not felt the baby move.  I got up,had some juice and then went on the back porch. I tried shaking my belly and pressing on it, trying to get the baby to move.  I started to get really worried and went to my husband.  I told him my concerns and asked him to pray.  He did and then he made me some coffee.  I though maybe drinking caffeine would wake the baby up. I drank the coffee layed back down, but within a few minutes I knew something was desperately wrong and so I called my midwife.  She told to drive over to the hospital and she would check me and the baby. She was calm and said that everything was probably fine.  We then tried to find someone to watch our 4 children.  We tried basically everyone we could think of.  We left messages on probably a dozen answering machines (this was before everyone had cell phones) but no one was home or answering. So, I was starting to panic and we just piled everyone in the van and started the 20 minute drive to the hospital.  As we drove, Ron kept asking me if I was feeling any movement at all and I would say no.  I knew in my heart that we would get bad news, I just never thought it would be that the baby had died.  While riding to the hospital, the hymn "It Is Well With My Soul" was going over and over in my head.  I knew whatever was about to happen, that it was well with my soul and the Lord was walking with us. 

Ron dropped me off at the hospital entrance and he went with the kids to park the van.  I walked towards labor and delivery but couldn't figure out where to go. I just wanted them to hurry and check for a heartbeat.  I was wondering around and around and I prayed, "Lord, please send someone to help me."  All of a sudden, a nice woman was there with me and took me back to L&D.  They paged my midwife and the house OB and put me in a small room.  The nurse began to check for a heartbeat.  Over and over again, all over my belly, but there was nothing.  I was sobbing at this point and Ron was there.  They put the kids in an empty room next door to us and the OB came in.  He had a sonogram machine and started to do an ultrasound.  There was my little baby on the screen.  There was no movement, no heartbeat and then the doctor began to shake my belly some, trying to get something.  Then the OB said, "I'm so sorry, but the baby is not alive."  I could not believe.  I was living a nightmare.  Ron had to check on the children next door and the medical staff left me for a few minutes to cry. I was all alone and I knew I would have to deliver a dead baby.  I was begging God to have mercy, to bring my baby back to life, to not make me walk through this, or just take my life too.  Then I remember seeing in the spirit women all around my bed.  Women who through the ages had delivered still born babies and I knew I was not alone.  Maybe they were angels, I don't know, but the verse came to me, "you are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses."  I know I could do it and I knew I would make it through. 

The next 24 hours were so hard.  They had to induce me from scratch, basically.  They put me on pitocin and some other stronger meds but it took forever to get labor going.  God was in control though, because if it had not taken so long then my mother and sister would not of had time to fly in from Louisiana.  When they finally arrived, it was only a few hours later that the baby was born.  During the long labor, we had so many friends and pastors from our church at the hospital praying and comforting us.  Also, sweet friends took our children home and stayed with them. When I finally pushed my precious one out, my mother, sister and good friend were in the delivery room too.  I kept hoping there would be a miracle and that he would be born alive.  But there was no cry. The room was quiet and peacefull and my baby was still. I heard my mother say, "It's a boy."  I felt the sweet release of pushing him out without an epidural.  I wanted to experience his labor fully, just as I had all my others.  The endorphins were there, even with the grief and we bonded even more.  He was beautiful and perfect, 7 lbs. 7 oz. The midwife immediately said that there was a true knot in the umbilical cord.  I was relieved to know the reason for his death, even though I had never heard of a knot in the umbilical cord.  Apparently it is formed early on when the baby is small and moving around a lot.  Then when the baby gets big and turns a certain way, it can tighten and cut off oxygen.  So God had watched the knot form early on and knew what day it would tighten and He would take my baby home to heaven.  


We all held my precious son and cried.  My children were brought back to the hospital and we had a time of praying, singing and just being with him.  We took pictures and grieved.  We named him Taylor Oran after Hudson Taylor, the missionary, and my Dad's middle name.  I wish we had a longer time to spend with him, but after a few hours they had to take him to the morgue.  They let me go home a few hours later. We had precious friends help us with finding a burial spot for him, a tiny casket, and plan a funeral.  We held the funeral 2 days later.  I did not see Taylor again until the day of the burial.  Oh, it was so hard to leave him at the cemetery! We had such a precious, God glorifying service, but I just wanted him back.  My arms ached for him.  All the baby clothes and things we had made ready for him, were still in my room.  My milk came in with full force.  It was a dark, hard time to walk through.  My husband was wonderful and most of the time, I only wanted him.  He alone felt the grief and pain to the extent that I did.  My little girl Anna, kept asking where the baby was and why we were not bringing him home.  I know God used it in my children's lives but at the time I felt so bad that they had to walk through such grief with us.  


God taught us so much though.  God held us and even though it was so hard, it was never a "bad" time.  I felt God's presence so strong.  He used the grief to dig a deep well in my heart that He has since filled up with His joy.  He showed me His love more fully through the body of Christ.  People helped us in so very many ways......meals, childcare, gifts, flowers, cleaning our house, praying and counseling us, etc.  We bought a deep freezer to hold all the food and meals we received.  It truly was amazing.  And God changed me.  I know now that He alone gives life and He takes away and He is in control.  I never want to be in "control" again.  I will take any life He wants to give me.  I will see Taylor again and in the scheme of eternity, it won't be too long.

Every year on Taylor's birthday we go to the cemetery and visit.  We take balloons and after we pray and talk about Taylor, the children let them go up to "heaven". 

I see my precious children, 6 of them that I have had since Taylor's death, and I know God has given me beauty for ashes.  God took something so hard and changed me and then gave me 6 more wonderful children.  It will be incredible when we are all together again, but until then I rejoice in God's faithfulness.