Saturday, April 18, 2015

Why I Shouldn't of Had 10 Kids

I hear just about every day from someone who may be a friend, new acquaintance or a stranger a pretty similar comment.  It goes something like this, "I could NEVER  have 10 kids!" Actually, many times it's, "I could never have 3 or 4 or 5 or whatever!"  Now I'm really right there with these women.  I'm no super mom.  I'm just a regular girl trying to follow the Lord's will. 
Well, I decided to make a list of the reasons why I really shouldn't of had so many kids:

1.  I'm selfish and self-centered.  I basically was raised a spoiled little brat that got whatever I wanted.  

2.  I'm not a natural servant.  I grew up being served not serving.  When I take all those spiritual gifting tests, servanthood is always last on my list.

3.  I spent a lot money, tears and work on my bachelor's degree in nursing, so I should use it and not stay home with babies.

4.  I'm RH negative.  Yes, if I lived 60 years ago I probably wouldn't of been able to have more than 2 healthy children. So I'm thankful for medical science!

5.  I'm not crafty and I can barely sew.

6. I'm not patient, in the least!  Now I have learned some patience (which I think is one reason God gave my so many kids) but ask any of my children whom I've taught to read and they will tell you how patient I am (smirk....please don't ask them.)

7. I don't like my plans being changed or being interrupted. This is a daily occurrence when you have even just one child.

8. I wasn't the best babysitter growing up and I absolutely hated pediatric nursing.

9. I don't like messes or cluttered dirty houses.  This has been a real life changer for me.

10. I like to have "me time" and my husband likes to have "me time with me and no kids."  I think he's looking forward to retirement age. 


But God molds us and changes us.  He knows what we are capable of, even when we don't.  He gives us the grace, strength, patience, etc. when we need it.  Many times not before, because then we would think that we are capable on our own and can do it without Him. Where God calls, He equips and I'm so very thankful for that.  Of course, the world would look at my list and say "no way this lady should have more than 2 kids, let alone 10."  But everyday I look at my precious children and I'm so glad that by God's grace, I didn't listen to the world. 


Monday, April 6, 2015

The Low Key Family Birthday Party vs. The Pinterest Party


Now, I just want to preface this with saying that I don't have anything against pinterest.  I actually like pinterest but I really feel for moms these days.  Pinterest parties are just not reality.  They are expensive and time consuming and I think down right stressful for young moms.  Most children just want a happy mom, a few friends or family over and an easy cake with some presents and they are happy.  No need to spend a ton of time and money on a 4 year old's party and especially a 1, 2 or 3 year who won't even remember the party anyway.  I'm so glad that I had most of my children before there was even pinterest or the pressure to have these elaborate bday parties.  Notice my very "homemade" looking birthday cake.  Patrick picked out what he wanted on top and said he wanted chocolate and that was that. Our family is a party in itself (another good reason to have siblings for your children.)  Then we bought and made him some presents.  He was a happy boy, I was a happy mom and all my other children just loved seeing him be the little prince for the day.  So I just want to say, don't feel that you have to go to great lengths to have some fancy, unique themed party for your children.  I think most of it is just for show anyway and ends up being way to much time and trouble.  This is another area in life where I think keeping it simple is your best bet.  Happy Birthday Patrick!!!





Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Snow Days/Rainy Days.....Just Embrace it


It's been a long winter for most of the USA and while spring has sprung, or at least is trying to spring, here in the south I know that many places up north are still buried in snow.  We had more than a few snow/ice days here in North Carolina this past February and I must admit I got a little tired of it.  I didn't grow-up with snow so it's still kind of a novelty for me so I do think it's beautiful.  But not so much when it starts to turn all brown and dirty and everything, including school, gets canceled.  Then we all become a little stir crazy.  I know you other moms can relate.  And most people think that because we homeschool, that we just keep going with school...not!  My older kids, who go to private school, are off and my homeschooled kids want to play in the wonderful snow, like all day.  This makes quite a mess when you have 9 people plus a few friends, coming in and out of the house with wet, muddy, snowy clothes.  We did have a fun time and the day we got 6 inches, I even went out and played in it.  I finally just gave-up trying to keep the house clean, do school and stay on a healthy diet.  Because you know when it's snowy outside then everyone wants homemade hot chocolate and all I want to do is bake cookies.  But when I did just give-up and embrace the reality of "snow days" that is when I started to enjoy it and relax.  These days are so fleeting and no school work or clean house is worth us moms walking around the house all grumpy.  So, let us moms just chill out some and enjoy life. You know the saying, "If mom's not happy, ain't nobody happy."  This is so true and we want our children to have happy family memories.  I'm talking to myself mostly here. Let's just embrace the snow days, the rainy days, even the sick days and be thankful for the precious children God has given us to make memories with. 



Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Scale




I saw this above picture on a friend's facebook page and it really hit a cord with me.  I guess because I know so many women that really seem in bondage to the scale.  I for one, do not own a scale and rarely ever weigh myself and this is why.  I realized in my late 20's that my happiness or how I felt about myself was greatly dependent on what the number on the scale said.  If I weighed within what I thought was good for me, then I was so happy but if I weighed more than I wanted to, then I was pretty much depressed the whole day.  That is just plain wrong!  Nothing should have that much control over our emotions or how we feel about ourselves, if it does then it is an idol.  I grew-up with a father that weighed himself every day and wrote it down.  He didn't seem to stress over it, but he's a man and his daughters and wife sure were stressed if they felt fat at all.  A few years ago when I was loosing baby weight, I was looking at buying a scale at Target.  My husband quickly said, "no way!"  He did not want me weighing myself regularly and getting into bondage and passing that on to my daughters.  I never talk about weight to my girls.  I talk nutrition, being healthy and fit to do what God has called them to do but I never talk weight or fat.  I also try to never down-talk myself or my body.  That is also a really bad example that your children pick-up even if you don't want them to.  Now, if a person has over 30 pounds to loose or has been told by a health professional that they should loose weight, then they should weigh regularly to make sure the scale is going down.  I still would shy away from owning one though.  It seems that most women I know that are bondage to the scale are already thin.  They weigh daily and get upset when it's up and they have been "eating basically nothing but vegetables."  I do not think God wants us obsessing with the scale or numbers.  I really do only weigh when I have to go to the doctor.  Instead of weighing, I just go by how my clothes are fitting.  Once I got to the size I wanted to be when I was doing THM after my last baby, then I just decided to maintain by exercising daily and eating healthy. And for the record, I didn't really weigh when I was doing THM either.  I lost a good amount of weight and when my husband and daughter told me not to loose anymore, then I relaxed and was not so strict.  Anyway, I think we as women need to walk in freedom and just say "good-bye" to the silly scale (which can fluctuate by the minute for us women anyway!)  Just like this saying above, we are valued by our love for others and the love they have for us.  What makes us truly beautiful is the love of Jesus shining from our eyes and our lives, not how thin we are. 

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Daddy daughter Dancing


My darling husband took my 3 younger girls to a Valentine Daddy/Daughter Dance

What a precious thing, Dads and daughters celebrating Valentine's together.  My father never took me to a Daddy/Daughter dance.  Maybe because these didn't exist in the 70's and 80's but boy I wish they would of!  When I think about how fun and special that would of been, it brings tears to my eyes. Probably because my father has passed away.  I do remember dancing with my dad, particularly on a river cruise boat and the special times we had alone doing things together.  Mostly we played tennis, rode bikes, or just had fun driving around in the car singing together.  We as moms need to encourage our husbands to do special things with our daughters; things that don't involve us.  These are memories that will stay in our precious girls' hearts forever, even if they are "sharing" their dad with a sister.  We can't forget the importance of a father in the lives of our daughters.  According to a study released by Baylor University,

Shared activities. When dad and daughter do something together.
The daughters in the study, all 22 years or older, identified three kinds of activities that changed the course and depth of their bonds with their dads:
  1. Sports: Doing a sport opened lines of communication, created shared play moments together, and encouraged the daughter to “take risks and stand up for themselves.”
  2. Working Together: Engaging in some tasks together helped daughters see a different side of their dads.
  3. Vacations: Time spent together on vacations opened up communication and deepened bonds in unique ways.
Not only that, building these bonds with our daughters apparently helps them be more successful in school as well. As a matter of fact, researchers are seeing that dads sometimes have a bigger impact on their daughters’ success than moms."
So, like I said we moms need to give our husbands opportunities and ideas to help them with our daughters.  Don't let this special time pass by!
Sweet Caroline

Darling Elisabeth Daisy


My littlest sunshine girl "Cakey"

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Mulltitasking Gone Wrong

Never multitask while driving!


We all know that multitasking is good and we as moms do it all the time, like..........
-make dinner, while talking on the phone and teaching spelling.
-referee a fight between 2 children while at the same time counseling your best friend on your cell phone via text.
-return emails during your kids soccer practice.
-nurse a baby and paint your nails at the same time (yes, I have done this and actually you get to where you can nurse a baby and do just about anything!)

Well, you get the picture.
We were made for this, as women, you know. I really think God did design the female species to be able to do 3 things at once so we could manage a household and children.

But sometimes multitasking can really go wrong.  I was convicted recently about this so I'm speaking to myself too.  
Here are some examples, particularly related to our spiritual lives; things that I have done to save time (I am all about efficiency and saving time.)

Listening to my Bible on speaker phone while I'm showering and getting dressed in the morning.

Having my prayer time while jogging/walking in the morning.

My only time of praise/worship happening in the car while driving kids around town.

Wow, what an efficient Christian mom I had become!  I could check 6 things off my mental to-do list in the time it takes me to do 3!

Now, there is nothing wrong with doing the above things, but when they begin to replace our regular Bible reading, quiet time or prayer time then we are headed for trouble.  You know, God doesn't want just part of us.  He doesn't want to be in our "multi-tasking/how fast can I get this done" category.  We really need to spend quiet time alone with Him, just sitting in His presence and mediating on Him and His word, just really worshipping Him with ALL our focus on Him.  I read an article recently in a popular secular magazine that went on and on about meditation being so healthy for people and how healthy, happy, famous, successful people do it everyday, etc, etc.  I thought how the world is searching for peace and sometimes they know better than us Christians the importance of spending time quiet, clearing our minds and focusing on the good things in our lives (the Lord) and cultivating a thankful spirit. 

And while I'm thinking about multitasking with the Lord, I also got convicted about multitasking with our children.  Our children are our most precious gift from the Lord and how many times do we not really listen to them, really watch them, really play with them because we are "multitasking"?

Just because we rationalize what we are doing as multitasking does not make it right.  I pray that we can slow down and focus on what we're doing, have our true quiet time with the Lord and really be in the moment with our children. In fact, my littlest guy wants me to play soccer with him right now and I'm going to do fully.....no multitasking allowed!

Saturday, January 31, 2015

Things People Ask My Children About Being in a Large Family


Recently I was in the kitchen with a few of my kids (actually it seems like I'm always in the kitchen with a few of my kids : ) and one of them told me a question that they had been asked at school about being one of 10 kids.  The other child laughed and said, "yeah, I get that same question all the time, plus a few others."  I had never heard them talk about this and thought it was rather funny and interesting.  So here of some of the things they told me that they get asked quite a bit.........

1. Who is your favorite sibling? (this child said he doesn't have a favorite)

2. Who are you the closest to out of all of them? (I think this changes with the age the child is)

3.  Do you have to fight for your food? (like, seriously)

4. Do you get enough food? (my children are all on the thin side but really, do they look malnourished?!)

5. How do your parents feed all those mouths? (well, this is a challenge)

6. Is it super loud in your house all the time? (well, not all the time)

7. How do you get your school work done with so many people around? (this child said he worked better with noise and family chaos ;)

8. Do you have a giant house? (it's plenty big, 5 bedrooms, even though my husband thinks it's not big enough) 

9. Are there any twins or any adopted? (I get this one a lot too and the blended family question)

10. Are you guys Catholic or Mormon? (this one my son says he gets the most and no, we are neither)

11. How old are your parents? (now that one is kind of personal)

12. So, are you going to have that many kids too? (I don't even want to know the answer to that one!)

These are all true questions they have been asked.  I did a blog post a while back on the questions and comments my husband and I get titled "Things People Say."  
You other moms of many should ask your kids what they get asked and let me know : )