Saturday, February 26, 2011

It's How It Should Be

My Luke, #5, turned 10 yesterday!  How can it be?

I have a 20 year old boy, a 10 year old boy and expecting another little man any day now (with of course a bunch of kids in between) but how can it be?!

They grow-up and like my husband keeps telling me, "It's how it should be."  My husband is so much more level headed than me.  

Am I the only one that gets a little sad at the end of a pregnancy knowing the time of carrying this little one in my womb and having him all to myself, is drawing to a close?  It's probably a good thing that I start to get real uncomfortable the last few weeks, or I probably would choose to stay pregnant for awhile longer if I could.  My husband has to remind me that God made us to just be pregnant 9 months and "It's how it should be."

The summer before last when we moved our oldest into the dorm at UNC, he had to speak this to me a lot.  I had a hard time with him graduating high school and realizing that it will never really be same.  Time just goes so fast.  During the summer though, I did realize that he was a grown man of 18 (sure not completely mature : ) but did I really want him "hanging" around here until he's 30?  God made our children to grow-up, "It's how it should be."  Oh and I'm so glad that he's only 30 min. away so I can see him really whenever I want to.

My second son is graduating this May and again I have to tell myself that "It's how it should be."  He is 18 now as well and seems like a man, but he's still my little boy.  Graduation from high school is a fun wonderful time, but such an emotional time for us Mamas!  He may go off farther to school and I'll have to deal with that.

One day they will find their "special someone" walk down the aisle and again I will be told and I will know that, "It's how it should be."  But I'll deal with that then!


  1. I know how you feel. Right now all nine of mine are still living under our roof, and I say "This is how it should be" but our 19 year old will soon be 20, and he's beginning to share with us his desires to move out with a few friends, possibly this summer. I'm there to offer my encouragement on this step towards independence, but inside I'm screaming, "Nooooo!" Even though the perfectly sane answer to that would be "This is how it should be" -- that they grow up, and that is what we raised them to do. My secret fears are that my younger ones will not get to know my oldest ones because they won't have lived with them long enough (as the ones closest to age to the older ones did) and that makes me a bit sad. If my 19 year old moves away this summer, then my two year will she get to know him, except on weekend or monthly visits? and will that be enough to form a sibling bond? Do you ever think this way, or is it just me and my over-sensitive mind?

  2. It is so hard for sure letting them go. Another reason I am so grateful to the Lord for blessing us with a quiver of children. I had 2 off and married before my last one was born. Then I overlapped having babies with my married daughter. That is the best ever. Nursing a little one alongside your own daughter nursing hers. I love it.

    blessings to you

  3. Happy Birthday Luke!
    And that is now officially my new saying.
    I think it sounds a lot better than "it is what it is..."
    That has been a favorite for awhile now.
    I like your husband's better.
    It sounds more providential.
    Praying for you as you get closer to the big day.

  4. I savored each of my pregnancies, it truly goes so quick. It is definitely a new transition when they move out, growing up, but it is still a gift, a different way of relating to them...

    @Katrina- yes, oh yes, they can still be close. My 2 yr old adores his 22 yr old brother, and he has been moved out for about 3 yrs now. =)

  5. Oh I feel your pain. I think as a Momma, its just natural to want to hold them so close to you. I always get so sad right after I deliver ( like 3 days after) that she is not inside me. I cry and mourn it because even though pregnancy is SO hard and SO uncomfortable for me, instinctively I know its such a special and amazing time. Its a very difficult transition

  6. Happy Birthday to your boy and well...I know it's how it should be, but sometimes it's mighty tough!!

  7. Katrina, I know exactly what you mean. This will be my first child born with my oldest out of the house. He moved into the dorm when Mattie was less than a year old and even though he loves all the little ones dearly, he isn't as close to them as he was to the others. But, it's hard to think about too much, it's just the way it is. Don't worry about it though, they will always have that sibling bond.

  8. My BFF and I often talk of that time at the end of childhood when there are growing pains, and the young adult starts feeling crowded in the "womb" of your home and you start getting uncomfortable yourself and gradually start to feel ready for him (or her) to be "born" out into the adult world. There are "labor pains" for sure, some mixed emotions, even the unbearable pain of "transition" before the final "push" that launches this one into the world. Sometimes this is all very natural . . . and "as it should be." Other times, intervention is required . . . . As you know, natural is always better. Doesn't ease the pain as your "baby" leaves his position right under your heart . . . but it is certainly a part of life and joyful in the end! And often times the bit of distance will bring greater appreciation for you and the family! You'll see, if you have not already! ;)


Thanks so much for your comments! I love them and they keep me writing. I really do read each one.