Sunday, April 15, 2012

Things People Say



Just about everyday I get a somewhat funny comment or response when someone finds out that I have 10 children. It might be the repair guy or even actually another mom.  It really is rather fun to see people's reactions, but sometimes it can be a little embarrassing.  Anyway, below are some things that people have actually said to me in the last 6 months and I promise, none of these are made up : )


"You birthed 10 children?!" (this was said really loudly by a cashier at Sam's and then everyone in ear shot turned to stare at me)


"I didn't think it was even possible to have 10 children!"(this was from a young mom of 3, and she was serious)


"Did they all come out of you?" 


"So, do you run a daycare or babysit for a living?"


"How many kids do you have?  No, how many do YOU have? No, how many are really yours?" (the taxi driver kept asking me the same question, just a different way over and over again : )


"I've never met someone who had 10 children, can I shake your hand."


"Are y'all a blended family?"


"Are they all with the same father?" (that one was really strange : )


"You must of had a bunch of multiples!"  well, no.


And then there is the usual, which probably all of us have heard who have over 3 children. You know like......


"So don't you know what causes that?"


"Do you not have a TV or something?"


"Boy, you must really have your hands full!"


"So, are you like the Duggars or something?"


"Well, are you planning on having anymore?" (crazy how total strangers could ask about your family planning/fertility.  I've actually thought of giving a detailed answer and see their face : )


So, I would love to hear some of the things people have said to you moms of many out there!

28 comments:

  1. LOL I am cracking up, Well I am behind you but I would love to have 10. However in southern Ca 6 is a lot. I would say the number one thing I hear is "don't you know what cases that?", "Are you going to have more?", "WHY?" with a puzzled look," "Are you Mormon or Catholic"? One guy look at my husband and said "DOWN BOY!"....what the what are you kidding me. In front of my teenage son another man said, "WOW you REALLY like her." I was very red. LOL this was fun :) So on a different note I have decided to try a weekly link up on Tuesday's for moms that have lost children/babies. I have met quite a few and I know it is so encouraging to see other mommies not just surviving but trusting in the lord and thriving. You do not have to write a special post just link your home page. You have a powerful testimony I know other would be blessed by you linking up. this was a great post totally made me laugh!

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    1. Sure Tesha, would love to link up? Do I just go to your blog? I'm actually working on a post about when we lost Taylor. It's just taking me a while to finish it but I should be done soon. So glad I made you laugh : ) Blessings!

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  2. Good morning,
    This post really make me laugh!! I love the way you explain things.
    Well when I was pregnant of my fourth girl people used to say : Has it been an "accident"? ( I'm not sure this sentence has sense in English). It was really strange for me ...I always answered: "of course NOT"
    Thank you for your Blog!!
    Belen

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  3. I too am often amazed at the things strangers will say. We've heard all those, the "You birthed all of them??" is always a funny one to me.

    One of the most recent comments we got was "Eleven is just too many." said seriously while shaking her head and followed by, "You are going to stop now, right??"

    Another one that is funny if you know us personally or know our history (severe first trimester morning sickness including IV re-hydration, extremely long labors with 6 serious complications including 4 babies with broken bones and one with a paralyzed arm and now c-section births) is "Oh, you must have easy pregnancies and births." Often they add, " I could never have more because I get bad morning sickness" or "My labors are difficult."

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  4. Me too! Shocked at the things people think they can say to me and in front of my 10 children...

    Like~
    "you make my vagina hurt." ewwww..thanks for that in front of my teenage son.
    "you are an %#$#^hole." to my husband in a crowded restaurant.
    "Dear God, please tell me this is the last one!" In front of all of my kids at Sams, the day before our youngest was born.
    "You planned them that close together?"
    "Do they all have the same father?"

    Annoying and rude!

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  5. I only have 5 kids, but still get comments all the time. We recently moved to Spain, and we still get a lot of comments but they are so different here. In America (specifically Las Vegas, which is where we moved from) the majority of the comments were negative. Here, the comments are mostly neutral or positive.

    This culture seems to be much more kid friendly in general, and so when we are out we got a lot of smiles and people will often say "cinco ninos? Ahh... Mucho trabajo!" (5 kids? Ahh... Lots of work!) I have not had even one rude comment from a Spaniard though, and nobody has commented to me about birth control or tv. It's kind of nice to live somewhere that is a bit more friendly to our large family!

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  6. You know the sad and somewhat funny thing? I have gotten some of those same responses and I only have five! I have even gotten some of them from relatives!

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  7. "Wow, you must be busy!" is the one that kills me every time! I have never met someone who doesn't consider themselves busy (except for a few nursing home residents!) -so I usually want to say to the person "oh, you aren't busy!?" But I usually just respond with something like "yes, and it's a wonderful thing to be busy with." My favorites are the sweet older ladies that look at me with a sweet encouraging smile and tell me that they miss "those days" and that it is all worth it or that they wish they would have had more. I always thank them for their encouragement -and then usually congratulate them on all their grandkids :-)

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  8. We only have 5 (so far) and have heard a lot of the same comments. Since the first four were boys and the last one was a girl, we now hear "Oh good, you have a girl...now you can stop!" It should be interesting when we have the next one, lol. Sometimes I'm tempted to print out a card with all the reasons we believe the way we do about large families so I can just hand it to people to read instead of answering the same questions over and over.

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  9. Love your blog!! I have six kids (one more on the way) and the best comment I got was when we were on holidays and a younger lady asked me if they were all biological. That one made me stop and think!!! After people comment on how busy I must be, I don't even bother to tell them that I homeschool too. Most people cannot comprehend how we must be able to do it.

    Thanks for blogging!!!

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  10. What a blessing to read all these comments by such thankful and happy mothers of many. It's been a while, but I think the only remark I can remember that wasn't already mentioned, was when a man told my husband he should get a shopmate. I did not know what that meant. My husband explained to me later that it was a work bench tool set-up. (So he'd have a hobby to keep him busy.) Sort of funny, but still rude. But we certainly are a very blessed bunch of women.

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  11. Hi from Australia:) We were recently on holidays far from home when on two separate occasions, another mum said to me when they discovered we had eight children, "You go girl!" with one even giving me a high five! That was nice. My husband often gets the "Don't you know what causes it?", and can reply with a straight face, "Yeah, and I like it."

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  12. Thanks for the chuckle! I only have four children...all boys... and I get similar comments to. Folks seem to consider anything more than 2 children a 'large' family these days.

    By the way, is that you and your husband in the picture? Has anyone said that he looks a bit like a young Jerry Lee Lewis in that picture? I think he does!

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  13. I love this! It made me laugh, but shake my head too, because people just amaze me!!

    I have 6 going on 7; some of the things I've heard:
    "I don't envy you!" That was one of my neighbors, I was like, Wow!
    "You aren't going to have anymore, are you?" And what if I am? Is that so bad?

    I have to laugh too when people see me with just my twins and tell me I have my hands full; actually no, this is a piece of cake!

    Thanks for sharing!

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  14. Like you, we have ten children. When we moved to a very small town here in Iowa, where gossip abounds, everyone was *sure* that we had a blended family. That each of us had been married, had a few kids, divorced, then were re-married. No one ever bothered to ask us. My children have even been asked about their different fathers. My kids just laugh and tell them "nope we only have one father" Cracks me up.

    I remember when I was pregnant with my 5th child. All my children were wee ones and I went shopping. Oh the looks I got.

    I am always amazed that total strangers ask questions as though they were paying for the food my children eat or the cost of raising them. In my opinion if they are not, and they aren't, then it's none of their business how many we have or plan on having.

    I chuckled at the comment left about the husband saying "yes I know what causes it and I like it" sounds just like my husband. I don't turn red at other peoples comments in public but I do when my husband says something like that :-)

    I love the sweet remarks from the older ladies when we are out and about. They always say the same thing "I wish we had gone ahead and had more children" as they smile at our little ones.

    Babies are a blessing. Toddlers are funny. Teens are terrific. Dtr in loves are wonderful. Grand-dumplings precious! The blessings just go on and on.

    ~Cinnamon

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  15. I've had seven pregnancies and with each one someone would always ask if we knew what caused it......finally on poor soul got me on a not-so-good-day and I asked in return...."Why no! Could you please explain it to me?" my children and hubby just smiled......the person walked away! :)

    Kim

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  16. I walked into Target one day with my 10 kids in tow (aged 8 mos to 18) and an older (late 50s) couple zoomed up to me - like they knew me or something. They were both grinning and the woman said, "We had 10 too, so what do you do in your spare time?". I just cracked up at that. They were so sweet!!

    Another time I had my 10 plus 4 of the kids friends at Wendy's restaurant and we were all sitting there eating. An older couple asked me if I did daycare. I laughingly said no, that I did foster care, and adopted and was a pushover when it came to my kids having friends over. That led to a discussion on foster care training and big families and by the end of the conversation they said that I could teach the trainings, the kids were all so polite and well behaved! Those were my two best experiences - all the rest were exactly like you described - tedious and silly.

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  17. We only have 5 with one more on the way and I have had 2 people already ask if they are all from the same father....that is the rudest one to date! Not sure quite how to handle that one..."um, yeah...."

    Most comments are pretty harmless like "wow, you have your hands full" - yep, better than empty! "You are too young to have 5/6 kids" thank you, but actually 29 is plenty old enough to if you don't wait till you have finished your PhD to marry.

    I have enjoyed your blog! You have a beautiful family.....but...are they all from the same father? LOL! ;)
    Nic@ www.AFarmhouseFull.com

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  18. Don't know if I'm allowed to do this or not, since I am a "Dad" and only mom's were asked to comment.

    I have never been asked the same father comment, but most people would probably be scared to ask me a question like that! But I would have to answer, "probably three fathers...and three different mothers too!" We've adopted two and are working on our third. After our fourth biologcal, my wife said, "That's it! I'm out of the export buisness and into the import buisness!"

    Most people here in CA just think we're crazy. Only strange comments we've gotten came from people when we were on a trip last summer in the south/midwest. But those I think mostly stemmed from confusion. I think they are only used to monochromatic marriages and that isn't us.

    The greatest responses I have gotten were from my recent trip to China with my two oldest boys to get our latest addition, another boy. I had this same basic scenario happen several times: A person would look back and forth from me to my two older boys, and then to the youngest; and then they would repeat this several times. Finally, they would look at my youngest and say "China???" I would nod and say "yes." Then the looks just went back and forth between me and my two oldest. Finally I would step in as I knew they couldn't figure out what to ask next, "MaMa?" They would nod indicating they understood where I was going. "Japanese." "Oh! Good job!!!", with a smile and a big thumbs up.

    Next would come "Three??!!" with a look of awe at my three boys. I would solemnly shake my head and say, "No. Six." After a brief hesitation from unbelief, they would respond with eyes wide, "Six????" "Yes". Then with huge smiles, thumbs up, and handshakes, "Good job!!!"

    I'm looking forward to when my wife goes with our oldest daughter to get #7, but since they always think she's Chinese I think they just may stop at the confusion of why she can't speak Chinese. We'll see.

    O, and yes, she will be leaving the other five home with me to be homeschooled while she's gone.

    James @ www.froislandfamily.blogspot.com

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  19. Thank you. made my day brighter, it was funny. WE were treated as freaks and we only have 3! But I am preparing for another one so we have to change the car LOL! Have a sunny day, hugs from Norway!

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  20. My boss keeps telling our patients I have five kids like they really care to hear. .A lady at the market said to be "GOOD LUCK!!!"

    ya so whar later on my Holidays will be full of family.

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  21. Hi. I've always wanted to have lots of kids and at the moment the number is 10. Well sort of, I have kid of decided that I can go through 10 pregnancies, but there aren't a high number of multiples in my family, so its likely to not be much more. I wanted to also start by adopting... but that's off the topic.

    I wanted to ask about what its like to raise that many kids. I've been looking at a lot of other stories, and people are either on the side that its a really horrible thing to do to the kids, or other say it was a really amazing thing. What are your thoughts?

    Do you get a lot of bad reactions from people that cause you or your kids to suffer? I really want this many kids, but I don't want to get it wrong, and end up being a terrible mum. Please help me!

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    1. Hi Ellie, actually it's interesting because we rarely, I mean rarely, get negative comments about our family size. Out of all the comments we get, which are practically on a daily basis, we probably get about 5% negative and 25% humurous and the other 75% positive. So many people come up to us and tell us what a blessing to see our large family it is and how many of them grew up in a large family or had friends that were part of a large family, or wish they had had a large family, etc. Also, it seems like all of my children's friends, young and old, all wish they had more siblings. I think it's better for children to grow-up with siblings and I feel like the more the merrier, but that's just me : ) Most children of larger families are less selfish, less self-centered, harder workers, etc. God knows what is best for each child and if God only gives someone 1 or 2 children, then maybe that is what is best for them (unless you feel led to adopt.) That's why I think it's so good just to let God decide. Actually, if you look at the Bible, Jesus was the oldest of at least 7. So, I think if the Father God thought it was good for Him then I would think it would be the best way : ) Just my opinion. Blessings,!

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  22. Hi,I also have ten kids,seven boys and three girls and I've heard all the same things too.I just want to share a story of mine with u.I was pregnant with my seventh child and was pulled over I was putting my seat belt on as I was pulling out onto the freeway and well a cop pulled me over and instead of just writing me a ticket and sending me on my way he asked who's all those kids belonged too? I said they r mines he said ur step children I said no I gave birth to all of them.he said oh come on now I'm sure u love them as ur own but u didn't give birth to all of them.this went on for a while it was none of his buisness and I didn't really care if he believed me or not I just wanted to b on my way.he was now argueing with me about this and I had to flag another cop down just to get rid of this cop.rediculous...

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  23. Do most of you not believe in birth control for religious reasons?
    A real question and hopefully not a stupid question.
    Thanks

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    1. I personally don't see anywhere in the Bible where birth control is recommended or advised and I also don't see anywhere where it is strictly forbidden. I believe that it is each couple's chioice that they should pray about and not take lightly. The Bible speaks of children as a blessing over and over again. I also believe that we should let God have complete control over our lives. If we trust Him with our salvation, our eternal future, our finances, etc., shouldn't we also trust Him with our fertility. I would suggest you search the Scriptures yourself, especailly verses that talk about children. Great question, btw : )

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  24. We also have ten. The most original comment we have received came from a man in Chick-Fil-A. He was watching us pass out the chicken nuggets from the huge party platter we always order and then said "You are either really good Catholics or irresponsible Protestants." We just had to laugh.

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  25. Thanks for this post. I have 5 kids and sometimes feel the need to search the Internet for other like-minded moms. My parents had 13 kids (9 biological and 4 adopted) and I always felt extreme comfort in knowing and hearing that my parents wanted every baby that God would send them. I think big families can be so wonderful for kids and parents alike.

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Thanks so much for your comments! I love them and they keep me writing. I really do read each one.