Monday, August 20, 2012

I Raised a Daughter and Gained a Friend

Me and My Precious Daughter.......such a gift.

It's been a tough, emotional week for me.  My little girl is all grown up now and has run off to college!  How dare she?!  I know, I was a 12 hour drive, 600 miles away from my parents when I went off to college, but it's so different when you're the mom!  I'm so glad she is only 1 hour away from us but it was still so hard.  Moving her into the dorm last week, I was fighting back the tears the whole time.  At one point she thought I was mad or irritated with her because I wasn't talking much.  I told her later, "no, it was because if I talked then I would cry."  I've cried a thousand tears this last week, but I'm starting to adjust and count my blessings.  She is such a wonderful daughter.  We've had our ups and downs, but really I can't think of many downs at all : ) So, what would I tell any young moms who have little girls .......what advise would I give that would help keep the two of you goes:
 Spend time with her, have fun with her but let her be herself. Don't nag too much and enjoy your differences.  Pray together, laugh together, tuck her in at night.  Don't abuse the babysitting thing with younger siblings or rely on her to be the "little mom."  Do mother-daughter Bible studies with her, especially during the middle school years. Love on her friends and make them feel welcome in your home.  Always point her to the Lord and His word. Don't give too much freedom in high school, but don't be too strict, controlling or suspicious of her either.  There really is a balance here.  Encourage her relationship with her father....this is so very important!  And most of all, make the most of the time you have with all goes by so very fast!
Anna and her roommate in front of their 100+ year old dorm. God has blessed her with a great Christian roommate who is also a close friend.
 Such a great sister to her younger siblings.  She let the younger ones come on her graduation picture photo shoot at a local farm.  This picture just shows her spirit and how much she enjoys life!

She called today after her first classes.  It went well, but she said she was homesick and about to cry talking to me on the's a transition for all of us. I just keep expecting her to walk through the door......


  1. I lost my daughter for a short time when she was 20. She is now 21 and no longer dating the same young man. She is back to being my speccial girl. I am so happy again. I pray that she finds the man that allows her to be herself and doesn't try to change her. I hope you never have that kind of rough patch with your daughter(s). Your family is beautiful!

  2. LOVE the advice!! Thank you. My oldest daughter is turning 11 tomorrow. Time flies by. I know that in a few short years, she will be grown. I love learning from mothers that have already been where I am.

    Your daughter is just beautiful. I will be praying for this transition for you all. I can only imagine how hard this must be.

  3. What a sweet post. And so true!! Every word. Your words of encouragement were perfect. Thank you for sharing your smiles and tears.


  4. My heart goes out to the both of you.

    Before you know it, she will be home for the weekend and holiday's.

    She will have a great time at college.
    And that's a good thought.


  5. I have quite a few years to go before my young daughter hits that age but the thought of her leaving and not having a close relationship with her is too hard to bear. I hope very much that we will be friends - thanks for sharing and your advice.

  6. My daughter is 8, and we already have a special relationship. I thank the Lord for her often (her brothers too ;) ). Thanks for this post. Your daughter is lovely. That last picture is beautiful! And I really like the one of her laughing with her sisters. So cute. :)

  7. If you let her go to a regular college most of her religious upbringing will be for not.

    As a male college student living away from the parents I can attest that a significant amount of girls dorming lose their good girl qualities through alcohol use and the implication that comes from alcohol consumption.

    Other than that I really like your blog. I plan on having 6+ kids after I complete dental school. This blog is wonderful in that I can see what may potentially happen with my future family.

  8. Thanks Mel, for your comment and concern. My daughter is very strong in the Lord, Blblical truth and apologetics. I would never send her to a secular college if I was unsure of her solid Christian faith and values. I think it really depends on the child, but I also have a strong conviction about taking out tens of thousands of college loans to fund Christian colleges that are 2-3 times more expensive. I went to a Christian University and loved it but there was plenty of "partying" going on there and many luke-warm Christians. My daughter feels that her school is a mission field for her as well and really had no desire to attend a Christian college after being homeschooled and then attending a Christian high school. My oldest son is a senior at a large secular university and while it has been a battle, he has in no way lost his Christian faith or religious upbringing. My second son attends a small Christian college. He really wanted to attend this school and will probably go to seminary after college so it was a good fit for him. Like I said before, I think it really depends on the child and how strong they are spiritually and what they plan on doing after college, not to mention whether the child will be going into debt to pay for the "Christian" education.


Thanks so much for your comments! I love them and they keep me writing. I really do read each one.