Saturday, October 29, 2011

A Baby at 23, 33 and 43....What's the Difference?

I was recently reading a "popular" magazine while getting my hair cut and was reading about a "popular" actress having a baby.  She was saying how she was so glad that she had waited to have a baby at the age of 33, instead of in her 20's.  I started to think about the differences between having babies in your 20's, 30's and 40's.  I've had 3 children in my 20's, 5 in my 30's and 2 in my 40's.  So what is the big difference? Is it better to wait to have children?  Or is it better to have children young to avoid age-related complications or infertility?  Or is it better to just trust God with the whole thing?  
As you can tell, I believe in trusting God and knowing that it's better  just to cooperate with how God created our bodies.  But there are differences.  Here are some of things that came to mind......

Advantages in your 20's:
-it's easier to get pregnant
-it's easier to bounce back into shape
-your young and energetic

Advantages in your 30's:
-it's the "status-quo" age to have babies, so you fit into the motherhood crowd easily
-you have some experience under your belt 
-your relationships are usually pretty secure at this point as well as your financial state

Advantages in your 40's:
-they keep you young : )
-you really appreciate being pregnant and of course the baby......not taking it for granted
-you cherish each moment and really know what you're doing by now

Of course, I think that each decade is great to have a child. God knew who should be born when... I had Will at 23, Luke at 33 and Patrick at 43 and I wouldn't trade having any of them for the world!
So, do you think there is one age that's better to have children than another?


  1. Love this! I'm 23 and my third is due a month after my daughter turns three and my son turns two. I love being a young mom, and I definitely wouldn't mind a large family. This makes me look forward to the perks of pregnancies at any age! And FYI, you do NOT look a day over 35.

  2. Great post!
    I had my first at 21 and the only advice I would give someone is don't wait.
    Children are an amazing blessing.

  3. I had never really thought of a "good" age but I guess you're right people do think waiting is better. Sadly people wait and then they cannot have any. So I think any age is a good age.

    I had 4 in my 20's, 4 in my 30's and 2 in my 40's. I love each stage, every age and all of them :-)


  4. It's not how old you are when you have a baby that matters. It's how old you are when the baby is a teenager that matters!

  5. I had my 3rd when I was 20! I LOVED it. Being a young mom, makes me a young Nana and I'll still be young enough to enjoy my great-grandkids. I started over with a newborn when I was almost 42. If I have my way, I'll still have kids at home when I'm 70. I'm totally enjoying having kids and grandkids the same age.

  6. I had one in my teens (19), six in my 20's, seven in my 30's, and two in my 40'...I would say the last two were the hardest since I was so busy and was more tired, being older. I wasn't in very good shape though, so that contributed to being more tired. I appreciated the last few more though, knowing they were the last few. My youngest has been totally and completely showered with love and attention. If I could do it all over again, I would cherish each of them even more than I think I do look way younger than you are, by the way!

  7. My younger pregnancies were all easy compared to the last two so maybe age does have something to do with it for some moms...either way its a precious experience!!We're all different and thats ok!

  8. I have enjoyed pregnancies in each decade...4 in my 20's, 4 in my 30's and 1 in my 40's. My last pregnancy at 41 was really terrific, I am just having a harder time getting rid of the baby weight, which used to fall right off. Definitely right that you don't take things for granted anymore...I am totally blessed.

  9. I have had children in each decade also. No regrets here! I echo everything you said about the advantages.
    I will be 44 in a few weeks and am hoping that God blesses me again before this "era" in my life is over. I am not ready for it to stop yet.

  10. It's like with the Duggar Family, after they had number 19, people asked them if they were done, she said it was in the lords hands and that it was his descision for them to have another child. Personally I don't think she could handle another baby {physically}. But hey God still surprises Me so I guess if He thinks she should have another child he will make it happen!

  11. I had 6 pregnancies in my mid to late 20's, but only 3 babies in my arms. My 7th and final pregnancy, I am having now at 30, I will give birth at 31. Each pregnancy was so different! My 6th (3rd baby in my arms) was the hardest. I have to say, though, that it feels weird to be only 30 and done having children. I'd have a gazillion if it weren't for the nausea and how incredibly weak I get during pregnancy. Hubby says we're done.

  12. I also have had babies in my 20's 30's and now at 40 I'm pregnant with number 8. We do place it all in Gods hands but I have to fight the worry that something will be wrong because of my age. I am a lot more confident now than in my 20's and I don't do things I disagree with because the doctor said I should! I think I fight for myself and my baby much more than when I was a gullible 20 something.

  13. Of course, leaving it all in God's hands is the ideal answer -- but doesn't assure you having children at any of those ages. Many people mistakenly believe that trusting God with their family size will mean a baby every year . . . forever! But it does NOT! The whole point is that He is in Control! According to the scriptures, He Opens the Womb and He Closes the Womb!

    For me personally, I had 4 babies in my 20s, 4 in my 30s, and 2 in my 40s! Pregnancy, Labor and Delivery and Recovery are so much easier on a young woman's body!! You just have so much more energy when you are young! But, you have more confidence and wisdom and are more relaxed when you are older. I say, It's all good! I enjoyed having babies at every age!!! :D

  14. I have had 1 in my late 20's
    5 in my 30's and now in my 40's struggled with infertility for over 2 yrs with one miscarrige at 42 (Jan. 2011)and now I am 7 weeks pregnant at the age of 43 (hubby is almost 48)!!!!!!
    If all goes well I'm due in June 2012.
    I have my first ultrasound tomorrow!
    Could you keep me in your prayers?

    Peace and Blessings,

  15. I always wished I started having children earlier, but it didn't work out that way. That's ok, because God's plan is always better than mine! My first was born a few months before my 30th birthday, so I've had 1 in my 20's and 4 in my 30's. I'll be 40 in a few days. Don't know if I'll have any in my 40's. This last pregnancy was very hard physically. However, I do believe that I am a much wiser, patient, less "me-focused" mother now than 10 yrs ago. Every age has it's pros and cons, as you pointed out.

  16. I definitely agree that babies in your 20's are easier, physically, but now being 35, I think I am stronger emotionally and spiritually than I was in my 20's. Sometimes I wish I had waited but that is only b/c I am a (recovering) perfectionist, ha. Thankfully, our God can redeem even our parenting mistakes and so I wouldn't change a thing! I wonder if I will know what it is like to have a baby in my 40's...

  17. Hi just wanted to say i love your comment a baby at 23 33 43 whats the difference i have eight and thought 40 gulp to old life is over but um i must say you just gave me new found hope with just that line 23 33 43 love it and thank you!!!

  18. I've been meaning to comment on this post and am just getting here now.

    I would have loved to have had children in my 20's but as God worked it out I only met the man who became my husband when I was 28.

    We married when I was 30 and I had my first child at 32. We knew we wanted several children & I wasn't sure how I felt about having children after 40. So I had 3 more children at ages 34, 37, and 39.

    Now I'm almost 41. My husband definitely feels our family is complete, but there is still a part of me that would gladly welcome another little one.

    Being an 'older' mom is more challenging in that I don't feel like I'm as energetic, creative, or patient as I was in my 20's. Also, I feel like the old woman in some of the mom's groups I attend where almost everyone is in their 20's or early 30's.

    But, here's the thing...our children have been planned since before the world began. God has always known them and when they would arrive. I try to rest secure in the fact that God is truly in control.

  19. Love of the comments, insight and wisdom. Thanks ladies!

  20. Thanks for all of the encouragement, ladies. I had my first child at 41 and I'm pregnant again at 43 after 3 miscarriages. I'm a bit anxious about it, but know it is all in God's hands. All of your words have been very encouraging for me.

  21. I stumbled upon this blog as I was researching a speaker at the homeschool convention I'll be attending. How fun this is! I agree with you all that God is in control of it all, and I'm glad He is. I didn't get started having kiddos until I was 31 (got married at 27, late bloomer I guess). I had four between 31 and 40. It definitely got a bit more physically difficult at 40, but I know I was a more informed and confident mom. Since then we've adopted two more and plan to adopt at least one more, but that too is in God's hands. :)

  22. Seeing that this is one of my top read posts, I thought I'd add a side note. My birth at age 43 was my best, fastest and easiest birth. For the details you can read Patrick's (#10) birth story. But it was great! It was also one of my easiest recoveries. Don't let anyone tell you it gets harder with age : )

  23. Most guardians are completing a few errands for the duration of the day and it might be difficult to give complete consideration to the tyke's activities each moment of the day. Best Baby Gates

  24. You are my personal hero! Having a baby for the first time can be tiring and stressful at times! But the weird thing you’ll find is that it gets easier for every new child you have. Do you agree with me? After you have two children you're already outnumbered, so why not go ahead and add a few more to the tribe? You are inspiring! Your family is inspiring! Hope that in the nearest future my tribe will be at least a bit larger ;)

  25. This is my first time i visit here. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the enjoyment here! keep up the good work

  26. Since low muscle tone requires your baby to work more diligently to move, you have to play a functioning job in observing her developments and propelling her to move around. Janice Warren


Thanks so much for your comments! I love them and they keep me writing. I really do read each one.